Many people are largely sensitive to other people's emotions. Some are particularly adept at empathizing with others, but sometimes to the point of damaging their own sensitivity. Establishing firm boundaries within your interpersonal relationships will help you prioritize your emotions and create emotional, social, and physical spaces in which you can thrive without being negatively affected by others' emotions.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Understand How You React to People's Emotions
Step 1. Think about your sensitivity levels
Highly sensitive people or HSPs (from English Highly Sensitive Person) are very emotional and get excited easily. Some of the main characteristics of HSP people are as follows.
- Attention to sensory details: sensitivity to details detected by the five senses, such as a delicate texture to the touch, a vibrant color, a full sound, and so on.
- Attention to the nuances of meaning: ability to notice and understand hidden meanings and not to be in a hurry to make a decision.
- Emotional awareness: harmony with one's emotional health and consequent better ability to take care of oneself.
- Creativity: introverted personality, but highly inclined to creativity.
- Intense empathy: significant sensitivity to the emotions of others.
Step 2. Determine if you are an "empath"
What characterizes an empathic person is his particular sensitivity to the emotions of others. All empaths are HSP people, but not all HSP people are empaths. The following signs may indicate that you are an empathic person:
- Feel the fear, anxiety and stress of other people. Your body absorbs the emotions to the point where you feel the same symptoms and pains. It's not just strangers or people you don't like that negatively affect you, the same thing happens with friends, family and colleagues as well.
- In the presence of many people it often happens that you quickly feel exhausted, unhappy, exhausted.
- Loud noises and smells, as well as excessive talking, can make you anxious and nervous.
- To be able to regain your energy you need to be alone.
- You are reluctant to intellectualize your emotional experiences because you fear that others will hurt you.
- You have a generous and spiritual nature and are a good listener.
- You always want to have an escape plan ready to be able to escape from the scene quickly, for example you usually drive to events with your car.
- The intimacy associated with close relationships tends to make you feel stifled or bullied.
Step 3. Identify the main occasions when you tend to absorb other people's emotions
We are not all influenced by others to the same extent, much less in the same ways, but no one can be exempt from that influence. Try to understand what are the situations in which you feel most influenced by the emotions of others.
Write down the feelings you feel when you are with people and notice which are your most frequent emotions. Do you tend to absorb the emotions of others on occasions when you try to make a good impression or perhaps in the presence of those who intimidate you? When you are surrounded by crowds, do you feel emotionally overwhelmed?
Step 4. Notice which people are upset you
As a rule, empathic people are particularly challenged by those who take a victimistic, highly critical, narcissistic, or manipulative attitude. Because of the way they behave, such people are often referred to as "emotional vampires".
- Evaluate those around you. Are you surrounded by people who tend to criticize you frequently or who talk about nothing but themselves? Do you think some of them are trying to manipulate you? Is there anyone who cares about your moods?
- Once these harmful behaviors have been identified, you can take defensive measures. One of the possible solutions could be to distance yourself from the subjects by saying to yourself "Although I do not appreciate his behavior, I respect this person for who he is".
Method 2 of 4: Establish Boundaries
Step 1. Determine what your needs and values are
Find out what you really want and what compromises you don't intend to accept. Your job is to bring out your priorities and things that you don't think are negotiable, including children, health, etc. Once you've established what you need to be happy, you can start drawing your boundaries.
At the same time you will have to decide where you want to be flexible. What are you willing to sell, reduce or change?
Step 2. Express your needs to the people you love
When you feel the need to be alone for a while to relax and process your feelings, let those around you know. For example, sharing your needs will help your partner understand your temporary estrangement. By becoming aware of your motivations, people will give you the necessary space and your relationships will become even stronger.
Step 3. Plan how to react to difficulties
Sometimes when we are faced with a difficult situation, we tend to cancel our borders. By planning your reactions in advance you will be able to keep them stable.
- For example, how will you react when a friend asks you to listen to him as he tells you about his problems at work? You might say "I'll be happy to hear from you, but know that today I can only dedicate 10 minutes to you." After that you will have to commit yourself not to exceed the established time.
- In another example, you might have a colleague who tends to finish his projects only at the last minute and have a bad habit of taking on his schedule to help him. In this case you could set a new boundary by saying "This time I have to get my job done, I'm sorry, but I can't help you right now."
Step 4. Set deadlines
Knowing how hard you can resist and stick to your limits is vital to your mental well-being. Set fair but meaningful boundaries for those who tend to drive you to exasperation.
For example, don't agree to listen to a person for two full hours if you know that thirty minutes is the maximum time you can take. Apologize and walk away
Method 3 of 4: Establish Space for Yourself
Step 1. Learn to rely on yourself
Get to know your emotions, feelings, needs and desires thoroughly. Behave assertively to get what you need to be happy and satisfied. When we let the behavior of others determine what our actions and feelings should be, we tend to adopt their emotions and reactions as well. So learn to prioritize your needs and act on your own.
- Act without waiting for someone else's permission. You can make your own decisions without asking anyone's approval. Start with some minor choices, for example don't ask anyone if that dress really looks like you think, if you like it, buy it! Gradually he learns to do without the contribution of others even for the most important decisions. Your self-esteem will increase and your feelings and needs will finally be given the space they deserve.
- When it comes to dealing with thorny situations, it's important that you don't have to rely on others. Drive to the party in your car or find an alternative way to get home if the need arises. Make sure you have enough money to take public transport or taxi to avoid having to endure an unwelcome situation.
Step 2. If you share your home with other people, create a private space
Ask that your moments of solitude and rest be respected. Your private space will allow you to get away from annoying situations or to seclude yourself in moments when you feel vulnerable, such as when you are tired. This possibility can protect both you and your partner from unnecessary and painful arguments., For an ideal result, choose a place that your mind considers peaceful and pleasant.
When you feel exhausted, take refuge in your private place and observe a relaxing image, such as that of a waterfall or a thick forest
Step 3. When in public you protect your physical space by setting boundaries
Especially when you are in very crowded places, having physical space at your disposal will help you feel more emotionally stable. When you feel surrounded by too many people, find a place to retreat, for example by sitting down or walking to the edge of the room.
If you are a highly sensitive person and have a hypersensitivity to the external environment, make an effort to choose places that guarantee you the right emotional space. For example, when you go to a restaurant, you prefer a table where you can sit with your back to the wall. Avoid the central tables near the bathroom or waste bin
Step 4. Develop a sense of inner peace
Learn to feel more centered even in stressful situations by focusing on your breath or mentally visualizing a place that makes you happy. On occasions when you feel permeated by the emotions of others, this relaxation tool can be very useful. Continue for a few minutes, inhaling calm and exhaling negativity. This technique will help you feel more centered and stave off both fear and other negative emotions.
- Visualize negativity as a gray mist rising from your body and calm it as a golden light pervading it. This technique can produce quick results.
- Also try yoga and the different breathing techniques available. Both practices act on emotional focus and provide a safe haven during storms. The way we breathe greatly influences the rhythms of our life and sometimes, in times of need, it does not guarantee us the optimal amount of oxygen. Through yoga and breathing techniques you will be able to modify your breathing to make it more effective, thus gaining greater control in the moments when you feel negative emotions arise.
Method 4 of 4: Strengthen Yourself by Being More Positive
Step 1. Nurture your positive emotions to develop your inner strength
When we are surrounded by peace and love, we thrive and do not allow ourselves to be hindered by negative emotions. Studies have shown that a large number of positive emotions ensure greater satisfaction in life.
- Think of someone you love. Think of the warmth and joy you feel in his presence. Now apply those same feelings to someone you know less. Identify an aspect of that person that makes you happy. Then apply that same feeling to the other people around you. Learning to recognize the positive traits of others will help you develop more positive emotions about yourself as well, keeping you focused on the positive aspects of life and helping you to overlook the negativities.
- Develop new positive emotions. Smile often, when you smile your brain releases chemicals that make you more positive.
- Do the things you love. When you dedicate yourself to something you are passionate about, you immediately surround yourself with positive feelings.
Step 2. Look for positive people and situations
Surround yourself with people who can support you and make you feel good. Positivity affects your well-being as much as negativity does. While you may not be able to immediately stop absorbing other people's emotions, you can make huge strides simply by choosing to surround yourself with positive people.
Spend time with a friend who can see the good side of people. Surround yourself with people who can point out the positive sides of things. Listen to the optimists and enjoy any form of art, music or writing that is capable of giving you hope
Step 3. Manage emotional overload
Due to their being empathic and naturally more sensitive to what happens in the external environment, some people tend to feel overwhelmed by even the simplest seemingly situations. But as unique as your sensitivity may be, don't feel compelled to succumb to that trait of your personality.
Admit that some situations that are normal to others can be overwhelming in your case, so stay away from them. For example, if you know that you tend to absorb the stress people transmit during Christmas shopping, avoid shops in the days leading up to the holidays
Step 4. Recognize your inner creativity
Highly sensitive people often display a high level of aesthetic creativity. Some philosophers describe the propensity for creativity as an essential element of growth and transformation. In humans, creativity is an innate ability that belongs to anyone, even those who have never picked up a brush. In this sense, art can manifest itself at any time, for example when you are conversing with someone or when you prepare breakfast. Learn to express your creativity in daily life.
Experiment with your personal style and everyday activities. This is a great way to turn exceptionally high sensitivity into a gift
Step 5. Turn your empathy into a positive action
When you feel overwhelmed by other people's emotions, use that feeling to your advantage by pursuing a positive goal. Choose a goal related to the emotions you feel at that moment.
For example, simply walking alongside homeless people can be a painful experience for hypersensitive people. Such a feeling can convince them not to visit certain places or neighborhoods to avoid exposing themselves to such pain. In this case it is possible to try to invest that same emotional energy in something constructive, for example by volunteering in a homeless shelter or by deciding to buy a meal for the most needy. In both cases you can decide to listen to their stories
Step 6. Be compassionate towards yourself
Learn to use compassion as a means of defending yourself from overwhelming emotions. Compassion allows you to be empathetic with other people, but at the same time it demands that you be kind to yourself. Consequently, it will help you not feel guilty when you need to walk away from a situation that you consider overwhelming.
Be aware of your humanity. You are not the only one absorbing the emotions of others. Recognizing that your feelings are an integral part of the human experience will help you not feel isolated. For example, when you feel overwhelmed, you can say to yourself, "It happens to everyone to feel overwhelmed by a situation."
Step 7. Accept yourself as you are
Sometimes being hypersensitive to your external environment can make you feel out of harmony with others, especially when everyone around you seems to be sociable or outgoing. This happens because highly sensitive people are often also introverted, in fact around 70% are, as a result they can tend to feel at odds with others. these feelings as a part of you.
Step 8. Experiment with different situations
Empathy is an element that tends to manifest itself spontaneously, producing very different emotions, based on the situations in progress. If you tend to be surrounded by the same people every day, determining exactly which emotions they trigger may not be easy. Deciding to experience a different situation that you normally tend to avoid may help you find the answers you are looking for.
