In some cases it happens that you find yourself in situations where it is difficult to tolerate someone's words or actions. Try to understand his point of view and avoid making it a personal battle. Try developing a more tolerant mindset by getting to know different people, developing self-confidence, and learning to appreciate differences.
Steps
Method 1 of 2: Tolerate Others in Difficult Situations
Step 1. Try using empathy
The first step in tolerating others in difficult situations is to make an effort to see things from their point of view. You may have completely different life experiences, so what is obvious to you may seem strange or alien to someone else.
Step 2. Ask for an explanation
If you are talking to someone who says something difficult to accept, you can understand their point of view without being intolerant or aggressive. Try to understand her opinion better by asking her to explain it to you.
- You can say, "Okay, tell me more. What makes you think that?".
- In this way you demonstrate tolerance, because you do not directly reject the other person's opinion and try to understand it even if it is difficult for you.
- Remember that being tolerant doesn't mean accepting bad behavior.
Step 3. Ignore the differences
One way to deal with a difficult situation is to try to ignore the differences. This is a more negative kind of tolerance than accepting and appreciating diversity, but it can still help you. To put it into practice, you need to avoid certain topics or change the subject quickly when it becomes necessary.
Step 4. Use first-person affirmations and not second-person affirmations
If you can't maintain a civilized attitude when talking to someone, it can help you avoid accusations and prejudices about them. You can do this by speaking in the first person. This can help you dissolve the personal conflict and open yourself to the points of view of your interlocutor.
- For example, if you are discussing the possibility of schools distributing contraceptives to teenagers, you can say, "I think it is reasonable for schools to make contraceptives available." This is a tolerant way to express your opinion.
- Avoid making second-person statements, such as, "You are stupid to think that schools shouldn't distribute contraceptives."
Step 5. Resolve Conflicts
If you find it hard to empathize or ignore a situation you can't tolerate, you can try to find a solution. If you don't want the problem to ruin your relationship with a good friend, it's worth the effort to find a solution together. Everyone involved must be willing to make an effort and to cooperate fully.
- You should start calmly describing what you find offensive or intolerable in the other person's behavior or opinions. For example: "I disagree with your position on gun control."
- You will then have to try to better understand each other's cultural extraction. You can do this by asking, "What experiences led you to develop your ideas on gun control?"
- Next you should explain the ideal solution to the problem based on their respective points of view. You can start by explaining what works best for you, then allow the other person to do the same. For example, you can say, "I think we should make the process of obtaining firearms more difficult, because…".
- Finally, you can negotiate a compromise that takes into account your differences of thought and respects them. It will be easier if the problem arises from a misunderstanding and not from the fact that your opinions are incompatible. For example, you can say, "Even if I disagree with your point of view, I understand it better now. Now that I know the reasons for your beliefs, it is easier for me to understand your opinion and I am willing to move on. ".
Method 2 of 2: Develop a More Tolerant Mindset
Step 1. Appreciate diversity
To develop a more tolerant mindset, you need to learn to appreciate differences. Those who value diversity are generally more tolerant and less upset by ambiguity and uncertainty. Intolerance can lead you to narrow and simplify an ever-changing world, making it easier to understand because it ignores its variety and complexity.
- Being more open-minded and exposing yourself to different views and cultures from your own can help you become more tolerant.
- Talk to people you don't know, read newspapers and websites you normally ignore.
- Talk to people of many different ages and cultures.
Step 2. Accept uncertainty
Research has shown that intolerance of ambiguity or the inability to accept uncertainty are key characteristics of intolerant people. Studies conducted nationwide have found that countries where people accept uncertainty more have a tendency to accept dissent more, tolerate diversity, take more risks and have a more positive attitude towards Young people.
- You can try to accept uncertainty better by thinking more about the answers than the questions.
- The principle is that you are always focused on finding an answer, you begin to think that the answer is one, constant and that it never changes.
- There can be many different answers to the same question and if you keep an open and curious mind you will become more aware of the differences and more tolerant of the ambiguity of life.
Step 3. Get to know other people and cultures
A great way to become more tolerant is to learn more about the world around you. Often when people display a lack of tolerance for others, this is partly because they feel alienated, or uncertain, about what a person does or says. Find time to learn about different cultures and ways of seeing the world. Don't be afraid to ask questions, but try to always be respectful and polite.
- For example, you may discover different ways of celebrating significant events.
- Having new experiences also helps you demystify behaviors that previously seemed alien or strange to you.
Step 4. Analyze your feelings of intolerance
Understanding the context and basis of your intolerant thoughts helps you recognize and refute them. Think about the reasons you have judged others in the past. Were you led to believe in childhood that some people are inferior to you or did you have negative experiences? Try to understand why you are prejudiced against certain groups of people.
For example, you may have grown up in an environment where it was common to hear offensive comments about people of a certain race or religion. Or, you have had negative experiences with someone of a different race or religion than yours and that episode contributed to your idea about those people
Step 5. Develop your self-esteem
In some cases, those who do not feel satisfied with themselves or those who have low self-esteem end up being intolerant. This feeling is often a reflection of the person's opinion of himself. If you feel more confident, you may find yourself becoming more tolerant and more open-minded.
Step 6. Make an unpleasant thought
An interesting way to become more tolerant is to practice dealing with thoughts that you don't find tolerable. This technique is used by psychologists and can be useful for solving problems of intolerance. It is based on the principle that it is difficult to maintain an unpleasant thought and that by trying to do so, you will learn to manage complex situations.
- We have a tendency to run away from unpleasant thoughts or to avoid them; this can lead us to have an intolerant, impatient or not very empathetic mentality.
- Pick an unpleasant thought and spend at least ten seconds on it every day.
- For example, if the idea of changing your religion is intolerable to you, you may think, "I will give up my religion and become a Buddhist (or another religion other than yours)."
- Think about what happens next. Do you have a physical reaction? What thoughts come to your mind?
Advice
- Remember the golden rule: "Treat others as you would like to be treated."
- Accepting that people are different and looking for the bright side in them helps you develop a tolerant mindset.
- Perfection lies in the ability to know and accept one's imperfections. Don't forget that anything is possible and that you can achieve your goals.
