If you have a younger sibling, you've probably had a lot of arguments over the classic sibling rivalry. Often resolving conflicts with him will have left you feeling frustrated and exhausted. Confrontations between siblings are completely normal, but it is important to understand how to overcome them on your own. With a little patience, you too will be able to create a stress-free friendship with your little brother.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Calm yourself down
Step 1. Take a deep breath
Breathe for a second, so that you are thinking about the problem with your brain and not your emotions.
- A great breathing exercise to relax is called "Four squared". Inhale for a count of four, hold your breath to four, exhale to four, rest to four, then take two normal breaths. Repeat until you feel calm.
- If you let your emotions dominate, you will probably only make the conflict worse.
Step 2. Give yourself space
If you need to, find some privacy and get away from your brother. Go to another room to think about the problem..
Get some fresh air. Being outdoors in nature is a great way to let off some steam. Tell your parents that you are going out and taking a walk outside the house or in the garden
Step 3. Distract yourself
Spend twenty minutes on an activity you love. Listen to a song you love or read a chapter of a book. By forgetting the problem for a while you will be able to see things more clearly when you come back to address it.
Step 4. Write down your feelings
Grab a notebook and spend twenty minutes putting the problem in black and white. Download all the stress and frustration on the page. This will help you achieve a positive, clear-headed state of mind more quickly.
Step 5. Put yourself in your brother's shoes
Usually, young children argue with siblings out of fear, jealousy, or seeking attention. Try to empathize with your brother and think about what causes him to behave that way.
Understanding the root of the problem helps you see it more clearly. Your brother doesn't try to annoy you or hurt you. Children simply don't know how to handle their feelings, so they often take it out on others
Method 2 of 4: Communicate with Your Brother
Step 1. Open a dialogue
The best way to resolve any conflict is to communicate openly.
- Find a quiet place and invite your brother to talk to you about the problem.
- Start talking with a positive attitude. If you get defensive or angry, your brother would understand.
Step 2. Tell your brother how you feel
If you feel frustrated by his behavior, tell him. He may not understand the consequences of his actions. Express your emotions sincerely.
A good way to share your feelings is first-person affirmations. Create a sentence with the following structure: "I feel _ when you _ because _". That way your little brother won't feel attacked
Step 3. Learn to apologize
From your perspective, you might think you haven't done anything wrong. However, younger siblings are often very sensitive and feel helpless. Let him know that you are on his side and that you are trying to solve the problem with your apology.
In some cases, it is necessary to put aside your pride to resolve a conflict, especially with someone younger than you
Step 4. Listen to your brother
Young children often feel that they are not being listened to by their family. Show him that you care and understand him by using your listening skills.
Method 3 of 4: Strengthen Your Relationship With Your Brother
Step 1. Show your love
Even if you argue with your brother, you are still family in the end. If he feels loved and knows that you care for him, he will be less likely to start conflicts with you. Tell him you love him with words or actions.
Step 2. Compliment your brother on his accomplishments
When he does well in school or helps you in some way, praise him. This allows you to create a supportive relationship between you.
Step 3. Plan activities with your brother
Spending time together and strengthening your relationship will make him feel like he is getting the right attention from you.
- Set a fixed time to spend time with your brother. This is a great way to let him know that you love him and that he has your support. He will also be more willing to grant you privacy when you need it if you have a fixed meeting to play.
- Offer your help with homework or other projects. Your brother probably admires you, and helping him out is a great way to show him that you are always by his side.
Step 4. Set a good example
You are an important role model for your brother. He will decide how to behave based on what he sees you doing.
If you are angry and hostile towards your brother, he will do the same to you. But if you are patient and kind, he too will learn to behave that way
Method 4 of 4: Get Rid of Your Little Brother
Step 1. Ask your brother for space
While it is important to have a good relationship with him, you also need time for yourself. Tactfully tell him that you want to spend some time alone every day.
When you ask for space, do it very gently. It can be difficult for your little brother to understand that you love him, even if you sometimes want to be alone
Step 2. Ask your parents to detach you from your brother
They may not understand that you are older now and need more privacy. Explain what your needs are and together you can find ways to create more distance with your little brother so that you can avoid conflicts.
Step 3. Find ways to get out of the house
Physical distance helps you feel more independent and appreciate your brother's company more when you are at home.
- Try school-organized activities. You can probably join art classes, acting classes, or sports groups. Ask the teachers and parents how you can spend time away from home.
- If you share a room with your little brother, create a space just for you somewhere else in the house. Start doing your homework in the kitchen or on the sofa. Even if you don't have a room to yourself, finding a space where you can work or read will help you feel more independent.
- The local library is an ideal and safe place to spend time away from your family. Ask your parents if you can go there after school or on weekends.
Advice
- Involve your parents if necessary. If the fight gets out of control and you feel unable to handle the situation, seek help from a responsible adult.
- Your brothers are future friends. Your relationship may seem difficult today, but it will change as you grow older. Many brothers find that all conflicts between them vanish over time.
- Be patient. Remember that he is younger than you and that he doesn't know how to express himself or manage his emotions. You were once smaller too, and you probably felt equally helpless. Try to show empathy for the moment that is passing.
- Pretend you don't care that he annoys you.
- Don't take revenge. It is not healthy to hold a grudge and retaliate; this ruins your peace of mind and that of your brother. He might just bother you because he's bored or in pain, so use compassion.
Warnings
- Never resort to violence against your brother. These are very dangerous actions, which can only make the problem worse.
- If you feel insecure or if your sibling hurts you, talk to your parents or a responsible adult right away.
- Never scream, otherwise the fight will last longer.
