Even if you love your brothers, they can sometimes annoy you more than anyone else on earth. Having problems with them can make you feel frustrated and angry, as well as cause tension with the rest of the family. It can take time to figure out how to improve your relationship with your sibling, but with patience and understanding, you will be able to make progress while avoiding disagreements.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Address the Problem Directly
Step 1. Ask your brother why he behaves the way he does
One of the best ways to understand his actions is to ask him directly, in a polite tone, the reasons for his attitude. While her motivation may not be a good excuse to annoy you, this conversation can help you find a solution to the problem.
- For example, if you are trying to read, but your little sister jumps on your bed or calls you constantly, you could put the book down and ask her, "Why are you doing this?".
- In some cases, your sibling may annoy you to get your attention. By overreacting to his attitude, you will reinforce the idea that with that behavior he will gain your consideration. Conversely, you may be trying to include it in whatever you are doing.
- Sometimes, your sibling may be irritable because he is feeling nervous or scared. Wait for him to calm down, then say something like, "Hey, I see something's bothering you. Would you like to talk about it?" By opening up to you he may feel better and be kinder to you in the future.
Step 2. Tell your brother how it makes you feel
Sometimes, he may not realize how annoying his behavior is. If it hurts your feelings or just irritates you a lot, it's important that you calmly express how you feel. In some cases, this may be enough to make him stop.
- For example, if your brother annoys you because he doesn't let you play with him, you might say something like, "It hurts me a lot when you shut me out. How would you feel if I did that to you?"
- If your sibling is very young, use clear, simple language to help him better understand the situation. For example, you can say, "It irritates me when you interrupt me while I do my homework" or "I get sad when you insult me."
- Keep in mind that following this advice does not guarantee that your sibling will stop bothering you with his actions. In some cases, he may be acting a certain way on purpose precisely because he knows he is annoying you, especially if he is already angry with you.
Step 3. Try to find a solution that makes both of you happy
Once you have talked about how you are feeling, it can be easier to resolve the problem in a way that satisfies both of you. Often, you will have to compromise and make concessions to keep the peace. Remember that getting along will make everyone happier in the long run!
- For example, if your brother annoys you because he wants attention but you need to study, try to meet him. For example, tell him that if he leaves you alone for an hour, then you will play whatever he wants with him.
- If one of your siblings is constantly borrowing your stuff without asking your permission, you could tell him what items he can take, as long as you notify you first.
Step 4. Walk away when you start to feel angry or upset
If you decide to confront your brother directly, it is important not to allow the situation to escalate into a heated fight. When you feel that emotions are starting to dominate you or that you are losing your temper, leave the room to spend some quiet moments alone.
If your sibling starts getting physically aggressive, try to avoid the urge to push or hit him. On the contrary, leave the room and immediately inform one of your parents
Suggestion:
It can be helpful to identify what signs your sibling is in a bad mood, such as when he raises his voice or turns red in the face, so you know when to avoid interacting with him.
Method 2 of 4: Preventing Unwanted Behaviors
Step 1. Tell your brother what behaviors are not acceptable
He may unintentionally annoy you, because he doesn't understand what attitudes or actions are upsetting you. To avoid this problem, try to describe to him what limits he should respect. If he does not respect the agreements after your clarification, go to your parents and ask them to intervene.
- The stakes you impose may relate to physical space, such as the right to privacy in your room or the security of things you own, but they can also relate to the emotional sphere, such as the right to spend time alone or to interrupt a conversation that irritates you..
- If your sibling has a habit of referring to you with offensive epithets, identify words that hurt you particularly so he can avoid using them.
- You could ask your parents to be there when discussing the rules of conduct with your sibling. This can help them understand that you take the boundaries you are setting very seriously.
Step 2. As much as possible, avoid situations that make your brother angry
If some circumstances cause him to behave badly, he tries in every way to stay out of it. Usually, the easiest way to deal with annoying attitudes is to stop them before they start.
- For example, if your brother is extremely competitive, try to avoid games in which you face each other.
- If he becomes irritable under stress, try to give him plenty of space when dealing with situations that put him under pressure, such as studying for an exam or preparing for a big game.
Suggestion:
ask yourself how your attitude affects the situation. By apologizing and taking more responsibility for your actions, you could lead your brother to imitate you.
Step 3. Breathe deeply as you begin to feel upset
It may seem easier said than done, but staying calm when your sibling irritates you can be an effective way to avoid a big fight. Even if he is very angry, try to inhale and exhale deeply 5 times to stay calm. At that point, you will be able to face whatever he is doing with serenity, instead of immediately countering his emotions.
- It can also be helpful to slowly count to 10 in your head before saying something.
- If you sit or lie down, you will feel more relaxed, so as soon as you feel anger build up, sit down to calm down more easily.
Method 3 of 4: Get Help from Your Parents
Step 1. Maintain a close relationship with your parents
By treating them with respect, taking care of your duties and following the house rules, you will show them that they can trust you. This means that when you ask for their assistance with a problem with your brother, they will be more likely to take you seriously.
- Talking regularly with your parents about what's going on at school and with your friends can strengthen your relationship. You can also talk about this and that, in order to talk often.
- For example, while having a snack in the afternoon after school, you can say to your mother something like, "Mom, do you want to hear a funny thing that happened at school today? Mr. Rossi dropped his cup,, the coffee is. splashed everywhere and it ended up in his hair! He started laughing too! ".
Step 2. Ask your parents for help when you have a serious problem with your brother
You don't necessarily have to run to them every time he annoys you. However, if the difficulties have been going on for a while and you can't resolve them on your own, talking to your parents can help. It's important to stay calm when describing the situation, so stick to the facts without leaving too much room for emotion.
- Be specific. Instead of offering a vague complaint like "Marco is being stupid", try "Marco keeps interrupting me while I try to study and this test is very important for my final grade".
- If you tried to solve the problem yourself, explain the actions you took and your brother's reaction. For example, you could say, "I've asked him several times to wait for me to finish studying to ask me for help with his video game, but he doesn't want to leave me alone."
Suggestion:
try to talk to your parents when they are not busy or distracted. If they are in a good mood and more willing to listen to you, they can deal with the situation appropriately.
Step 3. Ask your parents to determine the consequences if your sibling doesn't stop
Ask them to explain to you and your brother what specific punishments you will receive if you annoy each other on purpose. This may be enough to prevent conflict, because if your brother realizes he will be punished, he may decide not to bother you anymore.
Consider that you will suffer the same consequences if you annoy your brother
Step 4. Ask your parents for help to find some space
Sometimes, your brother can annoy you because you are forced to spend too much time together. It may not be possible to ask your parents for your own room, but you can still ask for some space and time alone when you need it.
- If you share a room with your sibling, ask your parents to set up a schedule so that each of you has some alone time in the room each week. Set similar rules for common spaces, such as the living room, basement or game room.
- For example, your parents might determine that each of you has an hour of TV to spend alone each day, and while your parent sits in front of the screen, you can relax in your bedroom in peace.
Step 5. Suggest family reunions to keep everyone updated on the situation
You may be able to avoid conflicts with your brother if you clarify regularly. Ask your parents to arrange weekly or monthly meetings so that you can catch up on what's going on in your lives. This is also an ideal opportunity to talk about any concerns you have about the relationship with your brother, because everyone will have the opportunity to speak.
If you want to make the meetings more fun, ask your parents to organize them in conjunction with other activities, such as baking cookies or sharing a meal. This can help everyone be more relaxed and comfortable
Method 4 of 4: Develop a Friendship
Step 1. Run a business with your brother so that you can bond
Try to choose something that requires you to work together or that will create special memories. The more united you feel, the less you will bother each other. Make a commitment to spend time together regularly so that it becomes a habit.
- Some activities that require you to work together include puzzles, building a model, or making dinner for your parents. By working together, you will learn to cooperate and use your energies for something positive instead of fighting.
- If you and your brother have a common passion for a particular hobby or activity, look for a way to make it special. For example, if you both enjoy cycling, take it on your favorite route. If you enjoy the same films, organize a marathon of classics just for the two of you.
Step 2. Listen to your brother and offer your support
If he is bothering you because he wants attention, it can help to take a more active role in his life. Be interested in what he does at school, as well as everything that is important to him, such as hobbies and friendships. Make sure he knows he can talk to you when something troubles him.
- For example, if you notice that your brother seems very discouraged, you can take him aside and say something like, "Did you have a hard day at school? You can talk to me about whatever happens."
- If your sibling tells you that he is in danger, for example because a bully at school scares him, encourage him to talk to your parents or another trusted adult. You can also offer to stay by his side during this conversation so that he feels more comfortable.
Step 3. Try to be less reserved about your life
Relationships are a two-way street, so if you want to feel more connected to your brother, you need to open up to him. Share as much detail as possible about your friends, hobbies, and favorite activities, and let your sibling ask you the questions he wants.
For example, you could tell him that you have a crush on a girl at school, even if you don't want anyone to know
Advice
- Remember that younger siblings will often not be as mature as you are, so try to be patient with them. Most likely, they will become less annoying as they grow older.
- Friends come and go in life, while brothers are forever. While it may be difficult in some cases, try to remember which relationships are the most important.
- Avoid parenting your sibling, as he will only resent you if you try to tell him how to behave. If your attitude worries you, talk to your parents about it.
