Growing up is really difficult, so it's understandable that children and teenagers struggle to accept the constant nagging of their parents. Unfortunately, in most cases it is not possible to avoid the problem, so the best solution is to work together with them and not against each other. Of course, that's easier said than done; even if you have a great relationship with them, it can be very difficult to get them to see things from your point of view. Whenever they are insistently asking you to do something, the best reaction is to stay calm and consider their request. By staying composed, you can prevent the same situation from happening again in the future!
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Coping with Continuous Nagging
Step 1. Listen to what your parents have to say
As much as they may bother you, the problem won't go away on its own just by ignoring it. You probably feel angry and irritable, but it's important to be able to listen to what they have to say with a cool head. Don't answer until you know everything they want to tell you. Listening allows you to better understand what the problem is and your respectful behavior will improve the relationship you have with them.
Remember how many times you've been asked to do the same thing in the past. If this is a simple action that they have been harassing you for weeks, it is probably much easier to obey than to keep putting it off
Step 2. Use the "broken record" technique
This is a great way to show people that repeating the same things doesn't lead to any results. Whenever the same question is raised ("Can you do the washing machine?", "Have you done your homework yet?"), Respond with the same short, conciliatory answer. Responding to repeated requests with an equally monotonous sentence will make your parents understand how annoying it is to be constantly pestered.
- For example, if you are repeatedly asked to take out the trash, you can simply reply: "I'll take it out soon." Stay vague and use short sentences.
- Another example is if your parents pester you to get a job, you can answer "I can do it in my spare time."
- Always use the same words; in this way it will be evident that the constant requests are tiring you.
- It is important not to respond aggressively or passively-aggressively. Remember that you are not trying to get into an argument, just to deal with the constant nagging of your parents.
Step 3. Set a concrete deadline
If your parents start pissing you off about a new issue, they probably won't give you time limits to stick to. The next time they tell you to do something, reply that you will do it within a certain deadline, as long as they stop nagging you. To make the deal more interesting, suggest that they take care of it themselves if they still insist.
Imposing a time limit on completing the action not only gives you the freedom to run errands when you like, but also saves your parents the pressure of having to keep asking
Step 4. Let your parents know that their constant nagging is bothering you
Often, sitting at a small table and talking about a problem in a controlled environment has a beneficial effect on the relationship between the parties involved. Being direct and raising your complaints when you feel comfortable and in a passive situation will shift attention to the way your parents behave towards you and at best lead them to realize that there are communication styles of course. best for a family.
- For example, you can say, "I understand and appreciate what you are saying, but repeating it over and over does not improve the lives of any of us."
- If it sounds too aggressive to you, use more delicate words.
Part 2 of 3: Preventing Future Nagging
Step 1. Maintain open communication with your parents
The most important thing to do to make sure they don't pester you is to have a good relationship. In most cases, constant requests arise from poor communication. Make sure both parties have the opportunity to express their opinion equally and you will find that your parents will bother you less in the future.
It can be very difficult to maintain open communication with your parents, especially if your relationship with them is characterized by difficulties in expression and a tendency to argue. Be patient if the change is not natural in the beginning; express your feelings, ask what their wishes are, and explain that you are willing to listen to their concerns. With these premises, the situation will improve over time
Step 2. Explain that constantly pestering yourself is not good for anyone's health
Your parents probably didn't consider the negative effect their constant intercourse has on you, but it's even less likely that they considered their own health. If this way of communicating is a deeply rooted problem in your home, coming together as a team and looking for alternatives is beneficial for both parties.
Step 3. Set limits
Once you have been able to speak candidly about your feelings, it can be helpful to identify stakes to put in your relationship. While writing black-and-white rules to limit constant requests and other annoying behavior may seem overly formal to you, it will be helpful for both parties to have an agreed document to refer to in case of misbehavior.
Step 4. Reveal the information to your parents in advance
This tip is very simple: if you tell your parents what they want to know before they ask you, they will have no reason to! If they have a habit of annoying you often with a thousand questions, you can avoid the most stressful part of the exchange by coming forward first.
- The best example of this behavior is when you go out in the evening. Most parents want to know where you will go and with whom, so try leaving them a note with the information they are looking for and they will likely have their hearts at peace.
- To some extent, you can follow this advice even if your parents always insist that you do housework. Instead of waiting for them to ask you to do something, take the initiative and you will be in an advantageous position; you will not have to do more work than usual, but you will have shown that you are a responsible and proactive person who does not need to be pestered.
Step 5. Remember your discussion if you get annoyed again
Even if you have come with your parents to stipulate rules of behavior, they probably won't always follow them; after all, they too are human beings! If they pester you by breaking any of the rules you have established, calmly point out what they are doing and explain that it is not a good attitude for either party.
Part 3 of 3: Understanding the Nagging Habit
Step 1. Try to understand why your parents are pestering you
To understand the root of the problem, first you have to listen carefully to what they have to say, but that's not all. You need to consider all the circumstances that may affect their behavior and their relationship with you. Have they been busy at work lately or do they need more help around the house? Do they always bother you for the same reasons or is it a new problem? Considering these aspects allows you to cope with interactions with your parents much better, especially if you have a tendency to argue often.
- If they are asking you to do something you have never had to do, it is possible that they are busier than usual and need help or perhaps they want to give you more responsibility now that you are older.
- If they insist on knowing where you will go in the evening, chances are they are worried about your safety and want to know the situation to feel more comfortable when you are not at home.
Step 2. Listen to what they have to say and put yourself in their shoes
Try to consider the matter from their point of view. In all types of relationships, fights occur because both parties are too focused on their desires and cannot consider what the other wants. Instead, listen and try to understand "why" something is being asked of you. Ask questions if you have any doubts. If you can understand the reasons that make a person behave in a certain way, it will be much easier to satisfy his desires.
Keep calm when talking to your parents. This advice is particularly useful if they are angry. If you both get angry, the situation could escalate and become even more complex
Step 3. Give your parents the illusion of power
Ultimately, they need to feel like they are in control, in order to feel secure in their own lives. When they pester you, they just try to exercise their power. By letting them know that you respect them, they will feel safe, even if their power is only imaginary.
Reverse psychology is very useful for creating the illusion of power. Getting your parents to think they want you to do something you already intended to do on your own is a great way to appease their constant demands and get what you want
Step 4. Keep your promises
If you said you're going to take out the trash or hang out the clothes, make sure you do it. It is easy to forget about these tasks, especially if a specific deadline has not been set. However, by failing to respect your word, you weaken your position by proving to your parents that they had to push harder to get what they want.
Imposing a time limit helps both; they will know you haven't forgotten (unless the deadline is passed) and you will feel more motivated to finish on time
Step 5. Remember that your parents are also normal people, human beings
They too make mistakes, just like you, and from time to time, they say and do things they regret. Keeping in mind that not everything they say is absolute truth is an important step in being able to forgive them if they have not behaved well with you.
- If your parents treat you in a particularly aggressive or annoying way, it is better to calm them down than to confront them directly about their behavior. Try waiting for them to calm down before raising the issue. After taking some time to think, they may already feel remorse for their actions and apologize directly to you.
- It is important to remember that parents dislike such fights, just like you do. Resolving disagreements and preventing them from recurring in the future is as useful to you as it is to them.
Advice
- In many cases, when parents don't give you permission to do something, it's because they have too much to think about. By communicating openly with them, you will greatly relieve their stress and they will probably be more willing to accept your requests!
- In almost all family situations, your parents are always on your side. Despite your disagreements, always try to remember it! Even if you're arguing, it doesn't mean they don't love you.
- Ask what you could do to improve the situation and be less hassled.
