There are times when negative people don't miss an opportunity to put you down, while you want everything they say to slip on you. While it is difficult to show total detachment, there are various ways to move forward and be positive in life.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: When People Judge You
Step 1. Build an opinion of yourself
Don't pay attention to the way people see you. We often worry about what others think because we observe ourselves through their eyes. However, it is not fair to base the opinion we should have of ourselves solely on the considerations they have towards us. In order not to give importance to what they think of you, try to develop an opinion of yourself on your own. Commit to everything you are proud of so that you feel like a good person regardless of what others think.
- Volunteering is a great way to be proud of yourself and contribute to the community.
- Cultivate a new hobby, such as drawing, playing a musical instrument, or playing a sport. Are you tired of being that lonely boy no one talks to? So, commit to playing the bass divinely.
- Travel and visit all the places you want. You will gain more confidence, you will have many wonderful memories and stories to tell for the rest of your life.
- Make a commitment. If you apply yourself in school, work, sports, housework, and so on, you won't be swayed by how others view your achievements. If you know you've done your best, you won't care about the negative things they may say.
Step 2. Do what you want
Don't let the opinions of others stop you from doing what you like. Your happiness doesn't have to depend on their approval. Ignore them and you will find that the more you commit to what you love, the less you worry about what they say. You will enjoy it so much that at some point you will completely give a damn.
Dedicating yourself to anything that makes you happy is also a great way to meet people who share your passions and who think like you. They will value the things you love instead of judging them
Step 3. Have them exclude you
To gain that necessary detachment from the people who judge you, you have to let them do it, allow them to spit judgments, in the end you will see that it will not be the end of the world. You will still get up every day and keep doing what you want. In fact, their opinion doesn't change your life.
It makes no sense to oppose their judgments because in any case they will never stop. The people who criticize harshly are the ones who judge themselves relentlessly and will continue to do so because this attitude makes them feel better. They have problems, but don't get dragged into their abyss
Step 4. Realize that time is a gentleman
Don't forget that these people have their own problems and their own life. In five years, they probably won't even remember you, much less the aspects of your personality that they disapproved of. Their opinion will not bother you at all in a few years. If you think about enjoying life and taking advantage of the opportunities that come your way, in the long run you will be happier than you would be if you waste time trying to win the favor of people you are likely not to see again in a few years.
Part 2 of 4: When Problems Arise
Step 1. Keep in mind that you are lucky
When you have a bad time, remember that things could be worse. It is not to diminish the pain you feel: what happened to you is still a horrible experience, impossible to change. However, when you realize it could even get worse, you more easily appreciate what you have.
Step 2. Enjoy the good things in life
By recognizing what you have and what you may be losing, you will be able to appreciate the things in life that make you happy. Hug your mom, let your best friend know how important he is to you, watch a sunset, because right now you are alive and in itself is a wonderful thing.
If you think you have nothing to like or be happy about, go out and roll up your sleeves. Start volunteering, make new friends, or commit to what you've always wanted to accomplish. Life is too short and we shouldn't spend it in boredom and sadness
Step 3. Realize it's not the end of the world
Difficulties happen to everyone, even with some frequency. However, if you realize that things don't always go your way, you will realize that adversity is not the end of the world. The problems may seem insurmountable, they are often incredibly painful and difficult to overcome, but they pass. Others will come, interspersed with happier moments.
Step 4. Think about the next step
You cannot change the past or erase what went wrong. All you can do is get back on your feet and move on. Take a new approach to life and solve problems if you can. Alternatively, think about the next step to take. Set yourself a new goal, a new purpose, so that, with new successes, you won't be obsessed with past defeats.
Part 3 of 4: When You Should Worry
Step 1. Be concerned when someone is offended
There are times when you should take the situation seriously. The circumstances in which a person is mortified are probably the most important. It's reasonable not to put too much weight when people disrespect you, but if you see someone mistreating another person, you shouldn't turn your back. If we learn to stand up for each other, no one will be intentionally offended anymore, not even you.
Step 2. Worry when you might hurt someone else
You cannot exterminate unpleasant people, bully others or care if your behavior and your words hurt others. If we want to live peacefully, we need to love and care for each other rather than fight hate with hatred. If you don't mind hurting people, think about the effect that such behavior might have on your life.
Step 3. Worry when people need you
Surely there will be someone who counts on your support. Throughout your life, you will meet people who will need you for a variety of reasons. Don't neglect them and do everything you can to help them.
It can be a friend who needs emotional support in difficult times or a family member who needs your affection to brighten their life. This could be the center where you volunteer or your children who need you to survive
Step 4. Think about your life and well-being
Don't neglect them. Sometimes it's hard to understand why you need to take care of yourself, especially if you've been through a hard time. However, when you feel down, remember that there are many people who love you (even if you don't know it) and that your future has many beautiful surprises in store for you (even if right now you think they won't happen to you again).. Be strong because you are and have patience.
Part 4 of 4: When Someone Hurts You
Step 1. Try to understand why you were hurt
In this way, you will be able to put an unpleasant story behind you because you will be able to understand the intentions of the author and his gesture. If you come to understand the reasons why he has behaved badly towards you, it will be more difficult to judge and hold a grudge.
Maybe he has treated you badly because he feels hurt, lonely or scared. Maybe he was afraid that you would have mortified him first or he doesn't have good examples to follow in terms of respect and love for others. There are many reasons why people are hurt, intentionally or unintentionally
Step 2. Realize that you are not the loser
If someone hurts you or doesn't openly appreciate your presence in their life, realize it's their loss. Whether he prefers to feel angry, offended, or lonely, this will be counterproductive for him in the long run, not for you. Your time and affection are best spent with those who appreciate you.
Step 3. Appreciate the people who truly care about you
Take the time to appreciate those who love you. There are many people who love you and enjoy your company. These friends, family, colleagues, and teachers definitely deserve your attention more than those who are totally absorbed in their problems.
Step 4. Find new people to consider
When a negative person leaves your life, find others to listen to. In this way, you will have a new purpose and an extra reason to be happy and forget the offenses received. When you meet wonderful people who know how to appreciate you for who you are, all the wounds inflicted by others will no longer matter. It is difficult to be in pain and anger when you are happy!
Advice
- The ancient Stoics were masters in the art of detaching from trivial things and appreciating the finer sides of life. Learn more about the topic.
- When you have problems or feel sad, remember that you can confide in friends and family. They love you and will help you get through tough times.
- Regardless of how petty or insensitive a person may seem, their attitude may depend on their past. Try to fix the problem and if not, avoid it and act as if it doesn't exist.
Warnings
- It takes time to get used to not giving too much weight to situations and people. Don't think it will happen overnight!
- There is nothing wrong with giving importance to things and people. However, don't get too carried away by negativity. You can worry about what people think of you, but don't change. Accept yourself and be happy!
- If you plan to self-harm or contemplate suicide, seek help right away. Make the world continue to enjoy your presence! Call the Telefono Amico number 199 284 284 to receive immediate assistance and advice.
