If the very thought of asking a guy out makes you scared, you have no reason to worry - many do! Since kids usually take this kind of initiative, it's flattering and relaxing when the roles are reversed. If you want to invite a guy to hang out with you, then all you need to do is prepare ahead of time, exude self-esteem, and react the right way to his response. Sure, easier said than done, but you will see that you will succeed.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Getting Ready to Ask a Guy out
Step 1. What's the worst that could happen?
The worst thing that could happen is that he respectfully tells you no, if he is a polite person. Keep this in mind and then be prepared to ask him out with you. Remembering this will help you take the hit should it happen.
Step 2. Find the right place and time to ask him out
Make sure you have the opportunity to meet him in an informal place, where you have nothing to worry about. You might come across the hallway, vending machines, gym or any other place you usually see it. To invite him out, choose a secluded spot, and also a time when he is likely to be peaceful. Here are some factors to keep in mind when choosing the right place and time:
- You don't have to be completely alone, but both of you will probably feel more comfortable in a semi-private corner. In fact, this greatly facilitates the moment of the actual invitation. In the presence of friends, people sometimes don't answer honestly and feel pressured; a little privacy can then allow you to get a more sincere response.
- Don't be in a hurry - you certainly don't have to invite him to go out with you as soon as you see him alone for a second. If you are both in the company of other people, approach them naturally, lower your voice slightly and ask them: "Hey, can I talk to you for a minute in private?"; at that point, get away a little.
- Try not to give strange vibes. Things like being silent in front of his locker every day, calling him constantly and then hanging up, or persistently asking his friends for information about him might be a little too much.
- Give him some space. Don't chase him, not even online. A little "exploration is fine, but don't make it an obsession.
- Choose a convenient place and time.
Step 3. Think about a possible appointment proposal
If this is your first time asking him out, you will feel less insecure if you already have a specific activity in mind. It saves you the stress of puzzling over a place to go during the actual outing. You don't run the risk of being silent or muttering "Um, I don't know" when he asks you what your plans are. Here are some ideas to take inspiration from:
- Don't get obsessed with negative thoughts like "She'll laugh at me", "She'll reject me", "She just considers me a friend", etc. Remember that guys feel the same way and have similar fears when they are in the same situation. And it happens to them more often seen and considered that they are generally the first to take the initiative. Many end up having a two of spades and are relegated to the dreaded friend zone mainly due to insecurity. The truth is that you will find out what he thinks only after putting his cards on the table, cheering up and asking him out. You can do it! Probably, the calm with which he responds will amaze you: Compared to girls, almost all boys react spontaneously, and it is easy to talk to them.
- Invite him to go to a mutual friends party. If your school organizes dances, ask them to accompany you. The possibilities are varied, and the choice largely depends on the events planned over a certain period, your confidence and shared friendships. Find the perfect opportunity!
- Plan a classic outing. Alternatively, if you already know this guy well enough and your goal is to spend more time alone with him, invite him to hang out with you. You could go out for dinner, meet at your house (order take-out or cook yourself), watch a movie at the cinema, go to a concert or other show, visit a museum or pursue another interest you have in common.
- Choose an activity that specifically interests this guy. If he likes to ride a bike, attend jazz concerts or eat sushi, invite him to do what he loves. You will put him at ease, and he will be more likely to accept your proposal.
Step 4. Think of a plan B to get yourself to safety without jolts
Of course, you should be optimistic and aim for the best (meaning that he says yes), not the worst. However, you must remember that there is a possibility of receiving a negative response, even if it is minimal. Maybe he likes someone else, or maybe he's surprised at your proposal because he considers you a friend and never expected you to have a crush on him. Either way, you will be able to get through this moment. If you want to take it philosophically and avoid losing your mind, you should think of a plan B to put in place if things do not go as hoped.
- Think of a reason to leave right away. You can say you have to study for a test, it's time to go to class, or you're late to meet a friend. Such an excuse sounds much better if it has been prepared.
- Think of another question to ask him if you realize this is not the right time to invite him out. If you cheer up in vain because he's clearly not in the mood, come up with something else to ask him so it won't seem strange that you approached him. You can use the excuse of math homework or ask him what time your favorite team is playing.
Part 2 of 2: Other Strategies
Step 1. Use the "extra ticket" excuse
Buy two tickets to the cinema, a concert, a cabaret show or any other show that might interest the boy in question. Later, when you start talking to him, name the event in between. Add: "Damn, my friend gave me the hole for the umpteenth time!". If he takes the bait and offers to accompany you, say, "Would you really like to go? I'm dying to see this show, and I think it will be fun." You must seem very spontaneous, as if you had thought about it right there.
- This is a perfect way to invite a guy out, because you won't be putting pressure on him.
- However, be careful. If you're too vague about your real intentions, she may think it's a date with friends rather than a date.
Step 2. Invite him on a group date
A group date is another stress-free way to spend time together and see if you're made for each other. If you and this guy go out with a group of couples, or mutual friends, then it won't feel like a romantic date, it will be a fun time for the party. Just tell him that you and some friends are planning to go bowling, to the movies, to dinner or anywhere else. Ask him if he would like to join.
- He'll realize that you have some interest in him and want to date him, but neither of you will feel the pressure of a romantic date.
- If the group date goes well, then pretty soon you will probably see each other alone.
- Again, avoid being vague. He may not understand that this is a date, which could potentially lead to awkward situations.
Step 3. Invite him on a male-only date
Choose an activity that appeals to the guy of your dreams and his friends, as long as you find it fun too. Then ask him to join you. You could do a few shots for the basket, go to a game live or in a club, go on a hike. Inviting him on an outing that allows him to indulge in a passion of his is more interesting, and the idea will seem more tempting and informal than a candlelit dinner.
- Find out what they like to do first. While there are tons of activities that are typically masculine, it may have different tastes.
- If you go to the cinema, choose a film aimed at a wider audience. An action movie could be fun for both of you.
- Make sure you like the activity you choose. You don't want to find yourself going to a certain place all the time because he thinks you like it.
Step 4. Invite him to go to the cinema or to a concert
This method is a small variation of the "extra ticket" strategy. If you decide to give it a try, you should have a little chat with the guy you're interested in first. Then, name a movie that has just hit theaters or a concert that will soon be held in the city. You should be sure it will interest him. Wait for me to confirm his passion for this film genre or group. If you really don't get the message, then add: "I wanted to see that movie too. Would you like to go to the cinema on the weekend?".
If you really want to act spontaneously, you can add: "I really don't know who to ask to go to" or "None of my friends like that band"
Step 5. Ask him out by writing him a note
Put it in his backpack, book, notebook, guitar case, or whatever else he has with him (make sure he opens it often). Just write: "Would you like to go out with me?", And add your phone number. This method is ideal with guys you don't know particularly well, and at least partially relieves the pressure. Not only is it effective, this guy will think you're sweet and creative.
If you want to add a touch of romance to the invitation, you can also write a long letter, the important thing is not to scare him by talking about weddings and lunches with your family
Step 6. Ask him over the phone
If you can't wait to invite him out but are afraid to do it in person, then give him a call and ask him if he'd like to see you over the weekend. You can also call him when you're with a couple of friends - they'll give you all the moral support you need, as long as they don't squeal or ruin the call. Having some psychological support will help you relax and gain confidence. If he says no, all you have to do is hang up and resume living as usual.
Step 7. Let him know openly how you really feel
- Do not be nervous; at first, talk about this and that, then move on to your question.
- When you start talking to him, make sure your friends are around so they can help you if you need them.
- Tell him why you like him, adding that one reason is that it makes you feel more confident.
- It would be a good idea to set a day when he is free; it will be easier for him to say yes if he likes your program.
- Let him know that if the date doesn't go as it should, you can still remain friends and, perhaps, try again on the second date.
- Another idea might be to ask him to go out with you on a date with your friend who in turn has invited her boyfriend without your knowledge.
Advice
- Ask him even if you have an afterthought! Many find girls who get a little nervous as cute. This is especially true if you know you are reciprocated, because it takes a lot of pressure off.
- Wait patiently for his reply. If he tells you he needs to think about it, let him. It is always good to let him think before making a decision, because he may be scared of admitting how he feels about you.
- Don't put pressure on him. Let me think about it, the decision is up to him.
- Before you ask a guy out, make sure he's not busy.
- Always listen to it carefully and respond appropriately.
- Ask them calmly, otherwise they may get stressed or fidgeted.
- Consider his feelings. Be yourself, even if it might be embarrassing.
- Don't assume he's not interested or that he's not a real man because he didn't make the first move. A guy who doesn't ask you out may have a soft spot for you, but maybe he's already busy, too shy, sad about a breakup or something else.
- Don't ask a friend to do it for you. The guy might think this is a joke or that you have lost a bet. Such a move is perfectly useless.
- Smiling is interpreted as a sign of security. Staring at the floor and muttering makes you seem uninterested or interesting to hang out with.
- If she says no, still be confident. Consider it another chance to prove you're awesome, he's the loser!
- Before you step forward, make sure you are on good terms. If you are unpleasant towards him, he will hardly like you. The old story of "If he misbehaves you then he likes you" is not true at all, and it is neither true for boys nor for girls. If you like someone, be nice to them.
- This guy may be recovering from a sentimental disappointment, so be understanding. Maybe he's not ready to date another girl or, alternatively, he wants to use one out of spite.
- Try to seem detached, calm (although a little nervousness can be tender) and confident, but not too much. Conveying despair isn't alluring. You have to be calm and friendly, that's all.
- Pay for both of them on the date, unless the guy insists. If he wants to offer you dinner or a movie ticket, well, why discuss it? This gesture makes him look like a gentleman. Maybe it even lets you know that he's seriously interested in you, and that's what you've been hoping for from the moment you first started having a crush. Anyway, since you invited him out, why not offer him something for a change?
- Make sure you don't misinterpret his signals. This misunderstanding can lead you to a very embarrassing situation!
- When you ask a guy out, be yourself and try to tell him what you really think.
- Don't automatically assume that a guy can bare his emotions. He may feel nervous or not sure how you feel about him.
- Express yourself in a calm tone of voice and get right to the point, so you'll know his answer immediately.
- If he says no, don't worry. There are so many fish in the ocean. Don't be sad and don't make him feel guilty. Take the shot and smile.
- Never show too much interest in a specific guy. In case of refusal, remember that the guys come and go, while your friends will always be there for you.
