Asking a friend to go out with you might embarrass you; But remember that in any case you are already friends, so you share interests, talk often and enjoy spending time together. Take the initiative, overcoming the fear of rejection, and your friendship could turn into something more. If you don't try you will never know! Here's how to do it.
Steps
Step 1. Wait for the right time
Knowing how to recognize the perfect moment is very important. If you two have never spent time alone, you may feel uncomfortable. Here are some tips:
- An effective way to understand if your friend is interested in you is to start talking about other people you like. This is a very frequent topic among friends, but if he has started to feel something for you, he is likely to get a little jealous. However, avoid exaggerating and bragging about your achievements, it could be counterproductive.
- Even if your friend is sending you clear signals to communicate his interest, and you are very in tune, this does not mean you have to rush in and make a hasty gesture. Skip one of the outings with the group and, when the friend you like calls you, let the answering machine answer. The next time you see each other, if he asks you why you missed him, answer like this: "I was busy, I might be free tomorrow for dinner".
- If you both go out in a group, you will need some privacy to talk only with the friend you like without other people around; when other friends are present, try not to pay him too much attention: you could make him uncomfortable. Wait for the moment when you find yourself alone to speak more deeply; if you notice that your friend tries to carve out moments to be alone in your company, it is a good sign. If it doesn't, you will probably have to take the first step.
Step 2. Arrange a meeting
Be flexible, think about more than one possible date. Choose a day that suits both of you, and to reduce anxiety, make the appointment rather informal.
Step 3. Decide how, when and where
- How: choose a way to invite your friend out, think about the advantages of a phone call, a message, an e-mail or an invitation said in person.
- When: Choose the right time to ask.
- Where: Choose a place where you can talk in privacy and without being interrupted.
Step 4. Ask your friend to go out with you
Before starting the speech, relax and take deep breaths. It's important to be right, so be prepared and be confident. Smile and look the person in the eye.
Step 5. And most of all, be yourself
Don't try to be too over the top just to impress. Nothing is more attractive than authenticity. Think of the most "charming" people you know: they are probably always comfortable, pleasant and relaxed. Here is the model to follow. Inner beauty can turn out to be a real magnet.
Advice
- Keep in mind that a good friendship doesn't always turn into a romantic relationship. If you are rejected, make sure you do not damage your bond: it is important that at least the friendship between you is preserved, so that you can count on that person's support in the future as well.
- Make sure you don't ruin your friendship. It would be a shame to lose a good friend.
- If your friend rejects you, be polite and diplomatic. Don't try to get him to change his mind. Maintain a positive attitude, basically you have simply expressed what you feel and have been honest and courageous. However, it is an experience, that "no" should not demoralize you.
- Some psychologists believe that the most lasting relationships arise precisely from a friendship; however, it can sometimes be difficult to tell when the feeling makes room in a platonic relationship. Sometimes the courtship period can be very short or non-existent, and the presence of a third person could generate jealousies. Make the friendship gradually evolve into a relationship passing through the courtship phase. Do not underestimate the importance of a little romance.
- Sometimes things may not work out and your friendship may also be affected.
- If you are afraid of rejection, try asking your friend out in the form of a joke; if the invitation is not accepted in the right way, however, you risk not being able to repeat it on another occasion.
- If you are very shy, preparing in advance will help you overcome insecurities. Write everything you would like to say to your friend and repeat aloud in the company of a trusted person, also asking for their opinion. Correct and revise the sentences you have chosen until you memorize the most suitable speech.
