A new relationship brings with it fun and excitement, but making it last takes commitment. Once the relationship has settled, you need to keep communication open and continue to value the time you spend together. Making a romantic relationship last isn't always easy, but the benefits of a long-lasting relationship in which you are dedicated to each other far outweigh any difficulties you may face.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Making time for the couple
Step 1. Make time for romantic moments
While setting specific days may seem overwhelming, you should go out together at least once a week, if not more often. You don't have to consider going out as a "date", but make sure you spend some quality time together, with no one else around.
- You can choose a particular activity that becomes a fixed ritual, like cooking together and then going to the movies, or make things more exciting by trying something new each time. If you stay indoors, create a romantic atmosphere by lighting candles and putting on a CD of soft music.
- Whatever you do during your special moments together, make sure you talk.
- Learn to say no to others during your moments as a couple. If your friends insist that you go out with them, but you've already made a commitment to your partner, say you'll see each other next week. Your relationship will start to wear out if you sacrifice it for something else every time.
- Dress well, tell your partner that you love them, and compliment them throughout the evening.
Step 2. Have sex at least once a week
Of course you don't need to mark this on your calendar, or at least hopefully, but you should always strive to set aside time for intimacy, no matter how tired you are after work or how many things you have to do that week.
- Sexual intercourse helps to preserve and strengthen the bond with the partner.
- You should also set aside time for cuddling and kissing, so that sex doesn't just become a "chore" on the to-do list.
Step 3. Talk
Even if you are both very busy, try to chat every day, regardless of the amount of work you have. You could do it at dinner or, if you are far away, on the phone.
- Ask your partner how his day was. You don't have to bore each other by telling every little detail, but it's important that each of you know the other's routine.
- If you won't see each other for a week, talk for at least 15 minutes a day to tell each other about the day and tell each other how much you love and miss each other.
- There must be no distractions when you speak. You are not really communicating if one of you is watching the game on TV or checking your cell phone in the meantime.
Part 2 of 4: Keep the Communication Strong
Step 1. Be honest
Sincerity is the key to any long-term relationship. For your relationship to remain strong, you need to be able to be open and honest with each other. It is important that you share your deepest emotions and thoughts, otherwise you will not truly communicate.
- Don't be afraid to tell your better half that you were disappointed by his behavior: discussing problems helps to solve them and is certainly much better than having a passive-aggressive attitude.
- Express your feelings. If you're upset about something that happened to you at work or what your mother told you, don't keep it all inside.
- Know when it's best to keep quiet. While honesty is almost always the best policy, you don't need to make every little judgment, like the fact that you don't like a shirt of his or that you don't like his new friend.
- Pick the right time. If you want to address a sensitive topic, be sure to do it when your partner is not busy or stressed so that he or she will better embrace your words.
Step 2. Learn to compromise
In a lasting relationship, being happy should be more important than being right. Learn to make decisions together, finding a way to please both of you or giving in in turns. Here are some tips on how to do it.
- When making a decision, ask your partner how important the thing is to him or her on a scale of 1 to 10, then do the same yourself; then, discuss why it matters so much and how to make it not so relevant.
- Reason together. Before deciding, take the time to examine the pros and cons and try to meet halfway.
- Both of you should take turns giving small decisions. If you choose the restaurant, let your partner choose the movie.
- Make sure you both make compromises. It's not fair for the other person to always give in to your needs because you are more stubborn.
Step 3. Learn to apologize
If you want to make your relationship last, it is vital that you know how to apologize when the case calls for it. Stubbornness hardly ever pays off in a relationship; it is much more important to be ready to admit that you are wrong.
- Learn to apologize after doing something wrong. It may take a while to realize you've made a mistake, but as soon as you realize it, say you're sorry.
- Make sure you are honest and look your partner in the eye when you apologize. it would have no meaning if you did it just because you feel obligated.
- Learn to accept your sweetheart's apology. If the person is sincere, then it's time to put your weapons down: accept his apology and move on.
Step 4. Let your partner know how important he is to you
Express your love: don't think your feelings are taken for granted. You should tell him that you love him every day, if possible several times a day. Make sure you tell him sincerely and heartily, not with a half-mouthed "I love you"!
- Always compliment him, from how attractive he looks in that new dress to how beautiful his smile is.
- Always thank him and don't take his favors and kind actions for granted.
- Always remind him that he is special to you. Don't forget to make it feel unique.
Part 3 of 4: Spice Up the Relationship
Step 1. Find new interests to share
Relationships are like sharks: if they don't move forward, they die. You should always find a new way to renew and evolve the relationship, thus preventing the partner from simply becoming part of a routine. A good approach is to look for new interests to cultivate together, so that you have something to get excited about and a passion in common.
- Go to dance class once a week - it will keep you fit and rekindle your passion.
- Indulge in a hobby together, such as painting, pottery, or sailing.
- Sign up for a course; you could learn a foreign language or take history lessons.
- Train to run a marathon together, be it short or long: you will get even closer.
- You don't always do the same things. Try hiking, mountain biking or ice skating. Experiencing activities outside your comfort zone will make you feel even more united.
Step 2. Stay cool even in bed
A healthy relationship needs a healthy sex life. While it is normal for the passion to decline after several years together, on the other hand you have to commit to experimenting with new things in the bedroom, so that intimacy with your partner can still be exciting and adventurous.
- Try new positions, even if the ones you are used to always work. You can also search together for positions you don't know which works very well as a foreplay.
- Have sex in different places, not just in the bedroom. Try the sofa, the kitchen table or take a little romantic getaway in the hotel.
- Go to the sex shop and buy some quirky items to try together in bed.
Step 3. Take a trip
While a vacation isn't a long-term solution to relationship problems, it can help you get out of the usual perspective and look at yourself with new eyes. Also, organizing a trip will give you something new and exciting to think about.
- Plan the trip you've always wanted to take. If you've been talking about visiting Paris for years and now have the finances to go there, make the dream come true.
- Take a short trip: even just driving for an hour to go for a walk in a forest or on a beach is enough to revive the relationship.
- If you are already married, think about a second honeymoon to commemorate your love.
Part 4 of 4: Practicing Forbearance
Step 1. Understand the influence of context on behaviors
There is a good chance that the beginning of your relationship depended not only on the chemistry between you, but also on the fact that you met at an auspicious time. Maybe you were young and passionate, on vacation or shared an important experience. This is an example of how a current situation has had a positive influence on your relationship.
Step 2. Accept the influence of context on behaviors
Resign yourself to the fact that negative influences are inevitable. When someone goes through a period of stress, illness, job failure, or other sources of anxiety, they may act in a very different way than is expected of the person they know and love.
Step 3. Identify the behaviors due to the context
If your partner shows little warmth towards you while in a difficult time, such as after childbirth, a dismissal or a death in the family, you need to keep in mind that what they say is probably dictated by circumstances. Treat these phases like the weather - there's nothing you can do except wait for them to pass.
Step 4. Forgive contextual behaviors
Do not hold a grudge for unpleasant attitudes your partner may have in difficult times. The human mind has a natural tendency to focus on negative experiences at the expense of positive ones. Letting resentment from rash words build up over time is a surefire way to sour the relationship. To develop a healthy and lasting relationship, it is necessary to learn to distinguish between personality-determined behaviors and those influenced by circumstances.
Advice
- Be faithful. Loyalty is an important quality. Stay true to your partner and be transparent in everything you do. The relationship won't work if you do things secretly.
- Don't focus too much on friends or other people of the opposite sex and don't talk about them all the time; it could break your partner's trust and ruin the relationship.
- Try to understand your partner. Sometimes he is stressed or in a bad mood and yells or says something that hurts you. Try to get over it rather than making it a cause for argument. Make him feel comfortable and relax so that he can calm down more easily.
- Lay a good foundation for your relationship by making sure it is built on trust. Be reliable and, at the same time, trust your partner. That way you will both be relaxed no matter what happens, because you will know that the other will behave well. Likewise, avoid overstating problems and being too emotional, or things will quickly get boring. Try to have fun together.
- If you or your partner go to high school or college, give them the time they need to study and get good results. Also offer your help if needed.
- Remember that not everything revolves around you. Don't pretend in front of the other person that you are someone you are not. Likewise, don't be rude and respect your partner.
- Be as thoughtful as possible and show it with actions as well as words. Your partner will feel loved.
- Don't be melodramatic. There is no point in making a scene because he does not identify with you enough or does not understand your problems. Just try to understand what he is doing and why. Avoid constantly complaining that he is not answering your calls or calling you. If there is trust, there are also good reasons for delays or missed calls.
- Give each other space. It might be very tempting to be together every hour of the day or night, especially in the beginning. However, spending time apart from each other, with family or friends, will make the moments you spend together more special.
- Communication is the most important thing. Talk to your partner every day, ask him how his day is, if everything is okay and how he is feeling. By asking these kinds of questions you will show the person that you care.
Warnings
- Don't make your partner jealous; he may leave you if he thinks you no longer like him and that you are interested in another person.
- Warning: these tips are not foolproof; nothing is when it comes to romantic relationships. However, almost everyone will agree that they are the foundation of a healthy relationship.
