What is a friend? A single soul splitting into two bodies ~ Aristotle
A deep friendship between two people of the opposite sex is possible and we meet examples every day. If you are experiencing a bond of this type, and you have realized that in some moments you feel something that goes beyond a platonic relationship, what matters is to be able to not notice it and maintain a relationship of mutual respect. Your friendship can prove to be an important and lasting bond, a friend of the opposite sex by your side will allow you to have advice, help, conversations and comparisons from a different perspective.
Steps
Step 1. Be prepared to face possible moments of tension
Unless one of the two is gay there is always the possibility that an attraction will be created between you. In many cases it is a spontaneous evolution of the relationship, dictated by Nature, if a boy and a girl spend a lot of time together, there is a greater chance that the friendship will begin to deviate its course.
Step 2. Establish general rules
To avoid that friendship is born with the aim of evolving into something else, if you absolutely could not have a romantic relationship for various reasons, for example if you are already married, if you have pressing work or study commitments, if you are divided by distance or from religious ideologies, it is always good to make everything clear from the beginning and express your intention to want to carry on only a friendship, a bond in which you will take care of each other as brothers and you will spend time together leaving sexuality aside.
Step 3. Trust each other
Forget all "possibilities" and trust your decision. Social and natural pressures will not be able to change the choice you have made, as long as it is a clear and spontaneous agreement for both of you. Believe fully in the Platonic bond that unites you.
Step 4. Think about all the benefits of a platonic relationship
Remembering the positive aspects of this type of relationship will help you to hold back from any moments of weakness and be able to resist a sudden physical attraction. Here are some positives:
- A platonic relationship can last a long time because it is based on mutual trust, on spiritual and emotional closeness and on the exchange of experiences.
- You are not bound by any romantic or sexual aspect, and therefore unrelated to all the complications that go with these two elements, such as doubts and jealousy.
- You will never have to pretend to be different from who you are. You can be yourself all the way.
- You will learn many things you don't know about men and women
- Both of you will be able to exchange their points of view, masculine and feminine, when you find yourself facing a relationship with your partners.
- You will always have someone by your side who can give you sincere, explicit and direct advice. Being two individuals of the opposite sex, you will not be divided by the competition that usually occurs between friends of the same sex.
Step 5. Reassure people who may be suffering from your friendship
Whether they are husbands, wives or boyfriends, the first thing to do is to clarify the platonic nature of your relationship. Both of you will need to be able to reassure their respective partners and keep away from possible compromising situations, for example meeting alone at home without informing your mates first. Being able to combine the reactions of the respective partners and your friendship can be the hardest part to manage. Your spouses or boyfriends have the right to know that 1) you do not call your friend to speak ill of them 2) you are ready to share the details of your friendship 3) there are no secrets and 4) you can never replace the your life partner with the friend with whom you have a platonic bond.
Step 6. Be realistic
It is possible that your relationship works so well precisely because the possible tensions that you have to constantly stem keep the bond always alive. A strong understanding that never leads to a physical relationship can be a source of creativity and desire to discover and can push you to actively overcome the problems that affect you. Even if you don't have to do anything to change your relationship, it's good to get to know it thoroughly, and understand the mechanism behind a platonic relationship.
Advice
- The modern idea of "Platonic Love" is not exactly equivalent to the thought that originated this term. Love defined by Plato was passionate but not erotic. In contemporary society, the term has been associated with a deep friendship between a man and a woman that never leads to sexual intercourse.
- A few examples of Platonic relationships in history may convince you that these types of relationships can work and last for a long time. For example George Washington and Betsy Ross or Gertrude Stein and Hernest Hemingway, among the characters of the books Peter Pan and Tinker Bell, Maxwell Smart and 99 or Harry Potter and Hermione.
Warnings
- If one of you were to experience feelings of a different nature that the other person does not feel they share, an embarrassing and delicate situation could arise, it will be very difficult at that point to re-establish the friendship of the past. Even if both of you agree to be in a relationship but the relationship fails, it is quite unlikely that you will be friends again.
- If you already know that you couldn't get married, avoid any romantic-themed discussion. Try to divert the conversation to other more general topics and invite the friend who needs delicate advice to talk about it with a person of the same sex.
