A romantic relationship that has blossomed on the Internet can be confusing. You may virtually know someone, and despite the long conversations via email and text message, it doesn't spark any real life sparks. There is also the risk that the story will remain confined to the virtual world. If after a couple of appointments you don't feel any particular agreement or if things are slowly dying out, maybe it's time to cut all ties. Some people choose to gradually decrease contact, while others prefer to speak clearly. If you want to be direct, honestly communicate what you think without exaggerating. You don't have to give very precise reasons, you just need to make it clear that you are no longer interested in learning more. With a little tact and consideration you will be able to end a relationship born between the lines of a chat.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Deciding How to Give the News
Step 1. Reflect on the benefits you could get if you are direct
Sometimes, it is convenient for both parties to express without too many words the intention to end the relationship. You can do it face to face or via text messages. If you've never met the other person in real life or have only seen them a couple of times, you don't have to physically meet them. However, if the story has been going on for some time, it would be a good idea to clarify for yourself.
- The main advantage of this approach is that it allows you to handle a potentially thorny situation with maturity. In the future, you will not have to avoid this person by feeling embarrassed or guilty. If you simply ignore her, you may regret it in the long run: you may not be romantically attracted to her but she could turn out to be a great friend.
- The downside, however, is that rejecting someone is no easy feat. The other person may react negatively if you are very direct. Also, you should use gentler language if you only met through the Internet. However, if you notice that there is tremendous involvement on the other side, you may want to sincerely communicate your feelings so that you put your heart at peace.
- If you've met her in real life and have been dating for a few weeks, try talking to her in person. If you've only chatted or seen each other only a few times, you can end the situation by texting or emailing.
Step 2. Consider dwindling your contacts
Sometimes, it's best to reduce them gradually. If you haven't met in real life or if you've only had one date, put a stop to the relationship and try to limit contact until the message is caught.
- One of the benefits of this approach is that you won't find yourself in potentially embarrassing situations.
- If you feel that the other person is also not very interested, you may want to stop replying to text messages and emails.
- This is probably not the best approach if the other person seems quite involved. If he sends you tons of text messages, emails, and chat messages, it's likely that he wants something more important. In this case, a simple break in contact could leave her confused and hurt. A clarification is better.
Step 3. Wait for me to contact you
Another approach is to get contacted. When you don't know if the other person is really interested, give them a few days. If you do not receive any text messages or e-mails, it is plausible to assume that the lack of interest is mutual. At this point, it is understandable to turn the page without becoming too formal.
Step 4. Choose the right time to break the news
If you prefer to be direct, choose the right time to communicate your decision. Offer to meet in person if it doesn't make you uncomfortable. However, if the idea of seeing her makes you difficult, you can send her a text or an email.
- If you've been on a date and no spark has ignited, it's best to talk as soon as possible rather than wait. This is especially true if the other person seems more enthusiastic than you. Take a few days, then contact her again: thank her for the date but make it clear that you are not interested in a romantic relationship.
- Find a time when you think it's free. If your virtual conversations or email exchanges occurred at a particular time of day, choose that time to talk to her. For example, if you only wrote to each other in the evening, contact her as usual and avoid texting her in the morning.
Step 5. Evaluate the length and type of relationship you have shared
There's no need to make an appointment with someone you've never met in person or anything serious has ever been with. It would be pretty embarrassing for both of us.
If you have seen each other very infrequently or have never had any contact in person, a simple message or a phone call will be fine; if not, you'd better speak in person
Part 2 of 3: Express yourself effectively
Step 1. Identify why you want to end this story
Before you have a confrontation, try to understand why you don't want to continue the relationship. This way, you will be able to better express what you think. So, think carefully about what went wrong and why you aren't interested.
- When did you notice that the relationship was not going well? Maybe the other person told you something suggesting a possible incompatibility. For example, each of you may want different things from a love story.
- You don't have to be brutally honest. If there is something about his character that you don't like, don't tell him about it. However, by being clear about your intentions, you will be able to end the relationship without too much delay.
- Try to be clear and be prepared for an answer to give in case he asks you for another chance, so you don't get caught off guard.
Step 2. Evaluate the relationship objectively
When the time for a breakup is imminent, try not to overstate things. Very often the relationships born in the ether are not important, even if you see each other for a couple of times. The other person may be baffled if you approach the situation with the same seriousness with which a love affair that has lasted a long time ends.
- Remember that you can indulge in pleasant online conversations even in the absence of real-life transportation. Even if you will have the impression that a particular bond has blossomed with this person in the wake of the interactions on social networks, it is not certain that there is a real affinity.
- It is likely that the other person has already understood something. In this case, approach the situation with extreme ease.
Step 3. Be direct
Don't beat around the bush. Sometimes virtual relationships create confusion, as they bring emotions into play before the real knowledge phase. Since the natural order of boundaries is upset, make sure you are as direct as possible when you put an end to this story. You can send a text message or ask for an in-person meeting to communicate your decision.
- Try starting the conversation with something pleasant. For example, you might say, "I had a lot of fun with you and you seem like a really nice person."
- Explain what you think about your relationship, trying to be short and concise: "Even though I enjoyed it, I don't think there was any spark."
Step 4. Try closing on a positive note
There is no need to harbor a grudge. You can be friendly even if you have no interest in learning more. When you finish the conversation, emphasize some positive aspects. Make sure the other person doesn't think they've wasted their time.
- Wish her luck in the future. For example, you might say, "I had a lot of fun with you. I hope you'll find someone to build a strong understanding with."
- Remember to treasure every relationship. Love stories often don't work. Even if your virtual relationship has failed, it is likely that each of you has learned something about yourself in the meantime.
Part 3 of 3: Avoiding the Pitfalls of a Breakup
Step 1. Don't talk more than necessary
When you end a virtual relationship, especially one of a casual nature, you don't have to list all your reasons. Don't delay if you're sending a text message or email. You don't have to give the other person a detailed explanation.
If you've gotten the feeling that each of you wanted different things out of this relationship, don't hesitate to point it out. For example, you might say, "I think you want a diversion. I understand you, but I'm looking for a more serious relationship."
Step 2. Avoid comforting the other person
If she is disappointed, don't try to comfort her. Rejection can hurt. If she is more involved than you, the fact of being rejected will be a huge blow to her pride. If you comfort her, she may mistake your attitude for pity. Once you tell her you're not interested, slowly limit your contact.
Step 3. Stop contacting her after the breakup
When you meet someone online, you will be tempted to keep in touch even after the relationship is over. You will likely continue to interact via Twitter, Facebook, or other social networks. However, this behavior could be misunderstood. Once you have closed, all virtual contact ceases, at least for a certain period. Give the other person time to get over it.
Step 4. Evaluate how you manage virtual relationships
In many cases they work, but you may not necessarily be able to interact effectively over the Internet. If you notice that relationships with people you meet online never go well, try to understand your approach to the world of virtual dating.
- Being honest and more accurate in your profile description will help you make a more stringent selection.
- You probably spend too much time chatting before dating in person. Just chat to see if you have something in common. Then propose a meeting without delay. That way, you can know right away if you like it.
- You can also try to get to know someone in other ways if you don't like online dating. For more opportunities, try going to pubs and nightclubs or volunteering.
Step 5. Learn to manage aggressive reactions
If you are dealing with a bully person, react appropriately. In case she threatens to hurt you or herself, cut off all contact. If you fear for your own safety, call the police. Online harassment can be very dangerous.
