If you're reading this, you've probably been in a relationship in the past, or this may be your first time breaking up with someone. In our lives there is always such a special person that forgetting them will be more difficult than flying to reach the stars. But in fact, it's not that difficult: you just have to have the right mindset.
Steps
Step 1. Remember the good and the bad
Many people will tell you to forget that person forever and everything that makes you think about them. This is much easier said than done. If you still succeed, you are formidable but you are also a little scary. If that person was very important to you, there is no way you can completely eliminate them from your heart. What we advise you to do is to look all your memories directly in the eye. Yes, it will be painful. But consider all the memories: the happy ones, the sad ones, those in which you felt there was no more hope or those in which you thought you wanted to marry that person. Evaluate these memories and let the emotions flow. Don't reject emotions, throw them out; cry or jump around. In short, do whatever you feel like doing, be yourself.
Step 2. Now that you are open to all of these emotions, grab a pen and paper
On a piece of paper, write down the reasons why the relationship didn't work out. Take your time and write a full paragraph or, even better, a complete essay.
Step 3. After you have done this, reread what you have written
1) Are you blaming yourself? 2) Are you blaming the other person? 3) Do you think you are rational?
- If you are blaming yourself, ask yourself why. Is it really all your fault or did the relationship / person make you think you were the culprit? List all the positive things you have done for that person and read what you have written. By now you should have realized that you have done your part, and you cannot feel guilty for any reason.
- If you are blaming the other person, make a list of all the negative things that person has done to you and that make you feel that it is all his fault. Review the list and think about the time you lost with that person and how much they hurt you. Why do you have to continue to feel bad if you got rid of that person?
- If you feel very rational, you can consider yourself almost free. Being rational is the best thing, because this way you will be able to understand why the relationship has ended and you will be ready to learn from the mistakes that have been made. The only thing is that you will continue to be sad, as a person you were attached to has left your life; but it is completely normal.
Step 4. Now that you have a clear idea of the reasons that keep you from breaking up, the next step is optional
Take a box and put all the things that person gave you in it and say hello to them forever, one by one. Remember the moments and circumstances in which you were given those objects (of course, if it is a nice expensive jewel you can always keep it, but saying goodbye to all the memories associated with it). After you say goodbye to all things and memories, throw the box away. You have to do it yourself. No matter how bad it makes you feel, try to understand that by throwing that box away, you are abandoning memories and resentments and you will be a stronger person.
Step 5. Enjoy the single life
Every morning when you wake up, remind yourself that you are a wonderful person and that there is a new day ready to welcome you. Walk to the wardrobe and wear what you want. Make yourself beautiful or beautiful and think of all the people who will admire you. Start learning to love yourself. Meet up with friends you've lost as a result of the relationship and try to make new friends.
Step 6. That person's memories may continue to haunt you
This is normal, it will take some time. It could be a week, or a month, or two - it doesn't matter how long it takes, but that day will come and you will finally stop basking in guilt and start a new life.
