The characteristics of a virtuous woman have been explored in religious texts and in the works of philosophers over the centuries. Each source may differ in exact details, but there are a couple of common principles that everyone agrees on. If you aim to become virtuous, here are a few principles you can look at to get started.
Steps
Method 1 of 5: Beauty
Step 1. True beauty is within
She is virtuous because she is born of good character. Before you think about appearing virtuous, you will need to look within yourself in order to actually become one.
True inner beauty and virtue go hand in hand. If you live as a virtuous woman you will also be beautiful
Step 2. Let your outer beauty reflect your inner beauty
Keeping yourself beautiful on the inside doesn't mean you can't be as beautiful on the outside. Beauty is harmony so if you are beautiful inside, you should take care of your body and treat it with respect so that others can perceive this quality of yours.
- According to St. Thomas Aquinas, the three characteristics of beauty are radiance, harmony and integrity. Beautiful things shine and their splendor is noticeable from the outside. To be total, the outer beauty must be in harmony with the inner one. Therefore there must be both external and internal beauty.
- This doesn't imply that you have to be as beautiful as a supermodel or that you have to rely on looks alone. It means you don't have to be afraid to look your best. There is a certain degree of satisfaction with how one feels when one looks in the mirror and appreciates what one sees. Loving yourself enough to strive for this feeling is wholesome and virtuous for outward beauty.
Step 3. Don't use your outer beauty to tempt others
It is difficult for everyday women to balance between looking beautiful while dressing modestly. You don't have to look scruffy, ask yourself if the clothes you are about to wear can tempt others with words or actions. In which case, choose something different.
- Veiled clothing may temporarily attract a man, but those of character are impressed by virtuous women
- As responsible as they are for their own thoughts and actions, men are visual people, so they tend to be easily influenced by what they see. Being kind and respectful enough to provide the men around you with fewer temptations is another sign of virtue.
Step 4. Treat your body well
There is a lot of virtue in respecting your body and treating it well. Stay healthy by eating right and staying fit.
Of course, you can be virtuous even if you are not in perfect shape and if you sometimes indulge in a burger. Respect is a virtue and it includes respect for yourself as well. If you respect your body, you should try to care for it enough to stay healthy, avoiding exposing it to deleterious situations, such as drugs or excess alcohol
Method 2 of 5: Other External Virtues
Step 1. Act according to others
While you shouldn't ignore your own needs, you should also think about those of others and be there to help them when you can.
An obvious example is devoting your time to formal situations to help others. A less obvious one might be devoting time and energy. A virtuous woman, for example, will be there for a friend who needs a shoulder to cry on even if it means missing out on her favorite show or the sale
Step 2. Be hospitable, generous and kind
Kindness is more than a few good words and a couple of smiles. To be nice to someone you should approach them with the right spirit.
Being kind involves being the one everyone turns to for a positive word or gesture. It is not enough to exchange some courtesy in passing
Step 3. Complete the tasks assigned to you
Don't shift responsibility. If you have an assignment at school or work, finish it on time and don't procrastinate.
Another way to live up to this principle is to label it as self-discipline. Even if no one is looking at you and you may postpone it or use less energy, you should still do your best and end it promptly. True virtue is not only found in the actions that others notice, but in the ones you do when you are alone
Step 4. Use your money wisely
You may occasionally treat yourself to something, but in general you should avoid spending it cheerfully. Frugality is also a virtue.
- This does not mean that you have to be stingy or always just look for convenience.
- It means taking care of your financial obligations before using the money for your little luxuries. In other words, you don't have to spend on an exotic vacation leaving your bills uncovered.
Step 5. Use your time well too
Everyone needs to relax, but in general you should try to be active rather than becoming lazy or sluggish.
- Relax to recharge when you need to, as you can only give your best when you are sufficiently rested.
- Don't do anything as long as it's to be active though. You don't have to mess up just to be able to clean up. Don't create more work for yourself than you need but do what needs to be done.
Method 3 of 5: Inner Virtues
Step 1. Have faith
Traditionally, having faith implies the presence of God or belief in some religious principle. If you don't believe in God, however, you can always exercise faith by believing in the pursuit of virtue.
- A biblical example of a virtuous woman is Ruth, who chose to follow the God of Israel despite the difficulties that this involved, despite the fact that it would have been easier to return to Moab and worship the gods of her childhood.
- This story teaches you a valuable lesson even if you don't believe in the Judeo-Christian faith. Ruth devoted herself to faith in the God of Israel and accepted the consequences even though retracing her steps would have been easier. You too should commit to your faith, God or the goodness of virtue and remain faithful to it in spite of challenges.
Step 2. Keep your body pure
Another way to put it is respect your body. Treat it like a treasure and don't give it away to anyone.
- Traditionally, keeping the body pure means waiting to get married before having sex. Almost every religion will agree on this point.
- Even if you are not religious, the principle of purity still applies. Sex should be treated as something special that should only be enjoyed by two people who love each other.
Step 3. Be receptive
Instead of stubbornly clinging to your opinions whether they are right or wrong, you should be open to criticism and advice. Weigh external influence carefully to see if it is beneficial or harmful and act accordingly.
Step 4. Cultivate reason
Women tend to be very emotional, and the bad thing about emotion is that it often blinds or distorts reasoning. A virtuous woman accepts her emotions but uses reason to moderate her reactions.
Let yourself be led by wisdom instead of madness. This is a biblical principle taken from the Book of Proverbs, but it also applies to everyday life and it doesn't matter if you are not a Christian. You can listen to the heart to be guided but ultimately, you will have to judge a situation with your brain, using the wisdom you have built up during your life, in order to accurately evaluate everything
Method 4 of 5: Household Virtues
Step 1. Respect parents
Your parents are responsible for giving you birth and they are the ones who transformed you into the person you are now. To be a virtuous woman, you must show respect for them, observing the rules they impose on you when you are young and continuing to listen and respect their ideas even as an adult.
If your parents mistreat you, that's another thing. You have to love yourself as well as your parents and if the best thing for you is to leave an abusive environment, doing so is the most virtuous action you can take
Step 2. Respect your husband if you have one
If you are married, you must love and listen to your husband. Your marriage is a partnership, and he is expected to respect you too of course.
- You don't have to obey every order, but if you're married to a man of character, he won't do anything to harm you. If so, you will need to at least respect your husband enough to discuss points of disagreement and consider his perspective before both of you come to a conclusion.
- Fidelity is another way to respect your husband. You must be faithful to him and not betray him.
Step 3. If this is your case, be a loving mother
If you have children, you need to put their needs ahead of yours. Raise them by following an example of virtue and try to turn them into virtuous people in turn.
- You must love your children and meet their needs even if it means making sacrifices. For example, a virtuous woman will pamper her sick child even if it involves taking the germs.
- You also need to educate them carefully and wisely so that they learn the difference between right and wrong.
Method 5 of 5: Developing Virtue
Step 1. Orient yourself to the center and not the edges
This principle was first discussed by Aristotle. Too good can turn into bad. Virtue can be in the center, between the extremes of a characteristic.
For example, cultivate love for yourself. An excess of this principle will become narcissism, but a great lack will produce low self-esteem. You have to love and respect yourself to be able to do the same to others, remember to love yourself in such a way as not to get carried away though
Step 2. Commit to a virtuous life
If you really want to live like a virtuous woman, you need to prepare yourself for a lasting commitment. A virtuous life is not someone who develops in a couple of days. True virtue is a way of life.
Step 3. Practice virtue until it becomes a habit
You can work hard without becoming perfectly virtuous overnight. The best way is to practice virtuous behavior so often that it becomes a new habit.
