Some men don't know where to start to get the girl who stole their heart. In the end, it's not that hard to make the first move and charm a woman with your charm; charisma, preparation and the right amount of self-confidence are enough to step forward with elegance. Once you have found love, you can take your relationship to the next level.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Use Your Charm
Step 1. Find out what she likes and talk to her about it
No girl wants to hear you talk only about you and your passions. In reality, it is much easier to win a woman if you will mainly discuss topics that interest her. You don't necessarily have to talk about "girl stuff". The barrier between men and women has shrunk a lot over the past decade. Your priority is to discover his passions and deepen them.
If you don't know what to talk about, you can always start with general topics and narrow it down later. You can start with a question about his hobbies or what aspirations he has for his career. When you have broken the ice, she will open up about these topics, giving you a chance to delve into them. If she tells you she loves sailing, you can ask her a lot of questions about that sport. Find out who taught her to sail or where she takes her boat trips. This can lead to a conversation about her childhood experiences, her love of the outdoors, and more
Step 2. Give her sincere compliments
Everyone loves to receive compliments, especially if they are original and highlight specific qualities. Making a wrong appreciation to a woman is a real possibility; all the phrases you have heard in the movies are trivial or superficial. However, if you learn to identify the best characteristics of the girl you like (without exaggerating), you will let her know that you are interested in her. Remember the four most important tips for making an effective compliment:
- Be concise. If you talk too much, it could go off topic or even make her feel embarrassed.
- Do not overdo it. There is no reason to tell her that she is the most wonderful woman on the planet. Your compliments will impress if they seem real and sincere, not hyperbolic.
- Try to be as specific as possible. Telling a girl that she is "beautiful" or "fantastic" won't do you much good. If you've watched his behavior and listened to his words, you should have all the basics to find a genuine compliment.
- Don't be excessive. To win her over, give her a couple of compliments on a date or when you meet. If you praise it too often, you will seem desperate and your words will lose their effectiveness.
Step 3. Make her laugh
Laughter is a cure-all and there is no better way to ease the tension than to share a moment of joy. This is also a great way to show that you pay attention when talking to you, because most jokes need to be direct responses to something that was just said. Humor is also very seductive, so try to make her laugh as much as possible.
Even if you don't consider yourself a particularly funny person, you can still find ways to make a woman laugh. Try the "push and pull" technique. You have to "push her away" by saying that you are not worthy of her, combining that phrase with a nice compliment, in order to "attract" her towards you by showing your interest; this makes the situation more cheerful. A good example is the following: "You are also very nice, it's a real shame that you ended up talking to me"
Step 4. Show her that you are happy to be with her
If you are not focused on your conversation, if you are not listening well or paying attention, you will lose your charm. Often to be charismatic with a woman you just need to keep your ears open, just like you do with other people. Respond directly to his actions. Nod when she does, laugh with her, and mimic her behavior without copying her. This attitude should be quite natural, but if you are having trouble showing your charm, try to take full notice of his ways.
Method 2 of 3: Prepare for Success
Step 1. Dress well
Don't underestimate the impact of clothing. Fashion isn't everything, but by wearing clothes that fit you well you will show respect for the girl you like and show off your social skills. By wearing clothes that show off your style and personality, you will also feel more confident. If your relationship is just starting, both of you will try to impress each other. If she's all dressed up for you, you have to do the same.
- For a restaurant dinner, especially if you are in town, you should bring something like a jacket. You can choose a blazer or a sports coat, as you like; in some situations, even a suit may be appropriate. If you meet in the evening, better be more elegant. You can take off your coat and put it on her if it's too cold.
- If you are afraid of being too elegant, to be on the safe side wear a tailored shirt, jeans or khakis, and a nice pair of shoes. It is a classic look that strikes the right balance between formality and comfort. Make sure your shirt is ironed and your pants are clean and tear-free. Choose shoes that are halfway between sneakers and elegant ones.
Step 2. Take care of your hygiene
Being clean is always very important and you absolutely must avoid neglecting any details before an important appointment. It is not enough to put on deodorant or perfume to cover up bad smells. You will spend the whole evening with the girl you are wooing, so take care of your hygiene as best you can. Don't forget all the following steps:
- Floss every day. Your dentist will thank you. This step not only helps prevent gingivitis, it improves your breath a lot. Buying an electric toothbrush is also a good idea.
- Wash your feet. If you do this every day, you won't have to take more drastic measures, such as using a special deodorant spray. However, dipping your feet in water is not enough to do this. Take a towel, rub the space between the toes and the soles as well.
- Change your blankets and pillow cases weekly, if not more often. Many men forget this detail. You must do this even if she does not come to your house after the appointment. Clean blankets help eliminate acne, on the face and especially on the back.
Step 3. Choose the ideal location
It is important that you have a clear plan in mind for your first date, especially if you will be visiting more than one venue. You will positively impress her if you plan the whole evening together and make her live an unforgettable adventure. Make sure you choose places with a special atmosphere. Think of the music, the decor and the noise; don't take her to a place where you won't be able to hear her speak.
- The place where you will be seated is important during the first date. Your best bet is to find a place with bar stools, even if you want to offer her a full dinner. You will be closer and can communicate better with body language. The sofas are fine too, perhaps with a table in front. Try to avoid tables with benches typical of American restaurants: you would sink into them and it is easy to get stuck.
- While dinner and a couple of drinks are a pretty common choice for a first date, you don't have to limit yourself to this schedule. Pub quiz nights can be a lot of fun and will give you a chance to showcase your knowledge in many different fields. You will also learn to team up, creating a bond. Bowling is a competitive yet relaxing pastime that will allow you to challenge yourself in a friendly way. If you want to be more daring, offer a Latin American cooking or dance class as your first outing together.
Step 4. Eliminate sources of stress
If you get too anxious, your first date will be a fiasco. Leave your personal problems at home. It would be difficult to ask her questions about her interests and maintain a positive attitude. If you have time, try to limit stress by meditating or playing sports.
If it's the date itself that makes you anxious, there are many ways to limit negative feelings. Don't start off on the wrong foot. Write a list of things to absolutely avoid and those that will make you look good. It will be helpful for you to have a mental view of what you hope will happen. Talk to a friend who is more experienced than you. Most importantly, tell yourself that the date will go great. You will never be able to enjoy the experience with a pessimistic mindset
Method 3 of 3: Get to the Next Level
Step 1. Show your love in public
If you are thinking about how your relationship is perceived by other people, you have undoubtedly crossed the threshold of serious commitment. It's not enough for you to kiss your girlfriend in front of everyone. Hold her hand or cuddle her in the company of your friends, in order to show her that you are ready for intimacy with her; also, you will make everyone understand that you are together. No one will try to come forward with either of you and this underlines your commitment.
You can also make your romantic relationship "public" using the internet. Posting photos together is undoubtedly an important step for a couple. Today, many people socialize mostly on Facebook and Instagram, so it's important that you don't be afraid to share photos of the girl you hang out with if you care about your relationship
Step 2. Make a good impression on her friends
After a few dates, she will talk about you with them, especially if things are going well between you. It's only a matter of time before you meet them, so you need to be ready to make a good impression. You shouldn't approach the occasion much differently than your first date. Dress well, ask your friends questions about their passions and show off your charm without going overboard.
- It is very important to keep your hands to yourself in front of her friends. They might feel uncomfortable if you can't get away from your girlfriend. Try to socialize with them and respect everyone around. Consider them your friends and over time they will become.
- Your girlfriend's friends will have similar temperaments to hers, but you still need to be careful not to offend them. Avoid hot topics like politics during your first meeting. Don't make offensive or crude comments. She may have a very strong sense of humor, but maybe her friends don't. Better not risk it and leave dirty jokes at home.
Step 3. Make her feel comfortable
Once you get through the early stages of dating, she'll make it clear that she's interested in you. At this point, you can worry less about making a good impression on her and convincing her that she can trust you. After some time, he will seek you out when he needs protection from emotional pain. If you don't prove capable of looking after her, your relationship will likely remain a mere adventure.
She'll be able to trust you if she knows you're listening. This means that you need to remember many details of his past and current problems. If she feels like you're not paying attention when she talks to you, she'll walk away from you. Remember that if you listen to her, she will be willing to do the same to you
Step 4. Define the relationship
If you want to take things to the next level, you will need to talk about your future as a couple. Even if it is a busy conversation, there is no other way to go from informal dating to a stable relationship. Here are some tips to better conduct this dialogue. Remember that there is no right and wrong way to do it.
- Evaluate how long you have been seeing each other and how often. This reflection will help you to consider the situation objectively. If you meet no more than a couple of times a week, maybe you shouldn't be in a hurry. If you see each other every day, however, don't wait too long before putting your cards on the table.
- If you have the same ideas about sex, you can probably wait longer before talking to each other. If, on the other hand, one of you wants to wait, you need to set the record straight. Remember that until you have decided not to date anyone else, you cannot consider yourself an official couple.
- When you speak, use unambiguous terms. "Serious history" or "informal dating" have different meanings for each person. Make sure you don't just ask her what she wants - remember to give your opinion. Make your voice heard without being numb.
- Remember that the discussion about the status of your relationship doesn't stop there. Even if you have reached a temporary agreement, things will change over time. As long as you are honest with each other about changes in your relationship, no one will feel cheated.
