Sometimes finding a soul mate is a matter of luck. But if you work hard to improve attitudes towards yourself, love, dating and relationships, the chances of finding a partner will grow exponentially. Resist the temptation to leave everything in the hands of fate. To increase your chances of finding the right person, try to improve yourself and your love strategies.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Finding a Potential Soul Mate
Step 1. Learn to appreciate being single
It may seem counterproductive, but before you are ready to find your soul mate, it is important to be a happy and confident single person. When both members of a couple are healthy, stable, and believe in themselves, the relationship tends to last longer. If you want to find your soul mate and you want your ideal partner to feel the same about you, you need to know yourself, know what you want and like yourself. Here are some ideas for enjoying the single life:
- Look for interesting hobbies and cultivate them.
- Learn to appreciate time spent with friends and family.
- Cultivate an interesting and stable career.
- Build strength and self-esteem.
- Keeping a journal will help you stay on track and remember your progress.
Step 2. Cultivate aspects of yourself that you find interesting
Make a list of the characteristics your ideal partner should have. For example, maybe you can't resist a bright sense of humor or a nice smile. Maybe you like athletic people who play sports or someone who devours novels. Whatever trait it is, think about how you might embody this attribute. By doing such work on yourself, you may come across someone who is capable of sharing your interests and desires. By the way, if you don't find your soulmate in the end, you will still have become a better, richer and more competent person.
Step 3. Keep an open mind
According to some studies, people are not always able to predict which characteristics they are most attracted to. If you make a list of your favorite attributes, it is very likely that in real life you will like a completely different person. It is normal to have disappointments and burns when searching for a soul mate, but let yourself be guided more by your instincts rather than a list of pros and cons. You may have nice surprises and meet a wonderful person.
In particular, avoid certain preconceptions and prejudices that you carry around like a ballast. Do not judge a person by the color of his skin, his religion, his ethnicity or his age. Before deciding whether or not a relationship is worth it, calmly know who you are in front of
Step 4. Don't waste energy with someone who already has a romantic commitment
If you've met a great person who's committed to someone else, don't even remotely consider having a clandestine relationship. Most relationships that begin with infidelity don't last. The foundation of such a relationship is not true love and affection, it is the lack and desire to have what you cannot have. Before you woo a busy person and make sure your relationship can survive, wait for them to come back and stay single for some time.
Step 5. Develop a social circle
If you have interesting friends, thanks to them you will come into contact with equally interesting strangers. Expand your network of contacts to have even more choice from a sentimental point of view. To meet new people with good potential, first cultivate close friendships and acquaintances. Here are some ideas for meeting people like you:
- Join a group that organizes meetings.
- Indulge in a hobby.
- Volunteer for a cause you believe in.
- Join a cultural association.
- Cultivate friendships and acquaintances you already have: invite your friends for dinner, organize parties or set up appointments for an aperitif.
Step 6. Be friendly
If you smile and laugh, people you have recently met will feel comfortable in your presence. To get someone to open up, let them know that you are well disposed through body language and behave in a sociable manner. Discreet flirting with someone you like is also very helpful in determining if they reciprocate.
Step 7. Don't say no to blind dates
Your friends know you and know what you like. If they think a certain person might be right for you, trust their instincts. Not all blind dates go well, but some do. Don't deny yourself the opportunity to meet interesting people.
Step 8. Try to understand how others flirt
There are several ways to flirt. For overall success, it is necessary to have respect, compliment, be expressive and communicate openness with body language. On these occasions, those who demonstrate closure, provoke, or ferociously criticize themselves are usually not very successful. If you want to flirt or understand when they are flirting with you, pay attention to the following behaviors:
- Smile and laugh.
- Nodding your head or verbally.
- Stimulate conversation.
- Demonstrate a good predisposition with body language (arms and legs relaxed, palms open).
- Share personal details.
- Look for eye contact.
- Ask questions.
Step 9. If you use singles sites, your profile must be honest but mysterious
Many find a soul mate on the internet. However, it can be difficult to find your way around in this world. Users who post candid but short descriptions claim to be more successful. Your profile should in fact be shrouded in an aura of mystery: not be an open book. You will then be able to get to know yourself better during your dates: don't let your profile tell the story of life, death and miracles.
Step 10. Get to know people in situations that get their heart rate up
In adrenaline-pumping environments, an attraction is more likely to arise. Rapid heartbeat, sweat, and sharp sensations can make you more sensitive to attraction, even sexual. Here are some places where the physical arousal is intense and in theory it is possible to find a soul mate:
- Gym.
- High altitude places.
- Cinema (when horror movies are shown).
Step 11. Remember that there is no one person in the world who is right for you
If there was only one soul mate for each individual, only one in 10,000 would find true love in their lifetime. Clearly this is not the case: people fall in love and have great relationships all the time. Don't be obsessed with finding the perfect person: instead try to propose to cultivate intimate, rich, healthy and loving relationships. You never know: a person can slowly transform into your soul mate, so don't rely on fate, don't count on the remote possibility of finding a single half of the apple. Many of the most fulfilling and lasting loves develop over a long time: this makes it clear that soulmates become such after having learned to know each other over the years.
Part 2 of 2: Transforming a Potential Soul Mate into a Life Partner
Step 1. Take the expression "soul mate" with a grain of salt
It often implies that two people are made for each other and that they can live perfectly in harmony. However, long-lasting, strong and intimate relationships involve conflicts and disagreements. According to some studies, the most satisfied couples are those who consider love in terms of travel or journey. Try to formulate the search for a soul mate in this way: you don't have to go in search of a perfect person, with whom you always live harmoniously. You should go in search of a person with whom to share a path for better or for worse. In other words, you should be looking for someone to grow up with, who isn't just meant to get to know you and create a happy ending.
Thinking about love in terms of destiny, rather than a journey, is especially detrimental to conflicts and quarrels. In happy moments this thought does not make much difference
Step 2. Listen to your instincts
According to some studies, instinctive reactions towards a person are important in predicting the general course of the relationship. Did you have a certain first impression on someone? Don't try to dissuade yourself. If you have a good feeling, invest in the relationship. If the relationship makes you uncomfortable or anxious (despite the fact that everything looks good on paper), perhaps it would be better to look for someone else.
Step 3. Don't be obsessed with perfectionism, otherwise you risk being left empty-handed
It is generally impossible to find an absolutely perfect person - it takes time to cultivate a relationship and adapt to each other. If a person seems suitable for you but has a few small flaws, try to evaluate them as a whole. A perfect love can be born between two imperfect people.
This suggestion does not apply to behaviors that denote a potentially violent or manipulative personality. If the other person tries to hurt you, insult you, or isolate you from others, the game is not worth the candle
Step 4. Cultivate a strong friendship
When you meet a potential partner, first try to build a solid friendship with her. Share fun experiences, talk about your goals in life, discover your interests and support each other. Couples who value their friendship are the most solid, romantic and able to stay together for the long term. When a bond of friendship is formed, the romance in the couple also increases (and sex is better too).
Step 5. Invest energy in the relationship
After meeting a seemingly perfect person, don't rest on your laurels - you both have to work hard to strengthen the relationship and grow it to last. Therefore, it may be necessary to resolve disagreements, tolerate annoying habits and forgive each other. Here are some secrets to having a solid relationship:
- Listen actively to the other person.
- Forgive her for small mistakes.
- Support his hobbies and interests.
- Avoid engaging in romantic relationships with other people (if you decide it is a monogamous relationship).
- Express your gratitude to her.
Step 6. Make appointments with other couples
Dating another couple can help keep the spark of passion and love alight in your relationship. This effect is particularly strong when the other couple discuss personal matters. Invite two close friends over for dinner or join a group that organizes couples' get-togethers so you can meet other people and become familiar. Your social network can help you become true soul mates.
Step 7. Snuggle up after having sex
When at the end of a sexual relationship we exchange pampering and tenderness, the relationship is more serene and fulfilling. If you think you've found your soul mate, after sex make sure you offer her attention, hugs, and a moment of intimate chat. This will create a virtuous circle that will allow the relationship to consolidate.
Step 8. Keep your future goals in mind
It is true that members of a couple can help shape their lives and their goals. However, it is equally important to be consistent with yourself in life and in love. Consider your greatest desires and see if your potential significant other can help you achieve these goals. In some cases, love is not enough to sustain a relationship or a life: one must also give mutual importance to one's dreams and share them. Here are some questions to keep in mind:
- What value do you place on your career? Can your partner support you?
- Will you want to have children someday? What about your partner?
- Where do you see yourself in five years? 10? 20? Can you imagine this person next to you?
- Are you and your partner happy to live in the same type of city / region / country? If the other person is unhappy where you live, but you can only live in a busy metropolis, maybe you should reconsider the relationship.
Step 9. Avoid back and forth
This type of relationship is a succession of breakups and reconciliations. It can be a very seductive prospect because it is based on a combination of familiarity and excitement. This adrenaline will also be thrilling, but it is usually negative. According to some studies, couples who enter a vicious cycle of separations and reunions often fail to consolidate the relationship in the long term. Remember that pushes and pulls are not only a waste of precious time and energy, they can also prevent you from meeting a much more compatible person.
Step 10. Find out if you are feeling calm and peaceful
If you have found your soul mate, then you will feel at peace, happy, you will believe that your relationship is strong and healthy. Your better half should be supporting you, just as you should be supporting her. If the relationship triggers anxiety, nervousness, and even nausea, it may not be right for you. Remember that bonding calm, well-being, and health are more important than drama, agitation, and adrenaline rushes.
Advice
- Be yourself. If you pretend to be different, you risk disappointing yourself and a possible partner. Be who you want to be and prioritize your goals. After all, it may be that you will soon meet a person who (to your surprise) will like you for who you are.
- While you are waiting for your soul mate, others may wonder why you are single. They may even imply that you have something wrong and that you are the real cause of your "loneliness". Armored to defend yourself from these ideas, fruit of ignorance. Remember that you don't have to defend your sentimental status. Focus on the good things in life and your personal improvement while you wait to meet a potential partner.
- Don't be too demanding. If you keep waiting for the perfect person to fall out of the sky, you will almost certainly miss the opportunity to get to know your soul mate. When you are in a place full of people with similar interests to yours, you should be able to pick one or two that you would like to get to know better. You may unexpectedly find the other half of the apple.
Warnings
- Don't obsess over searching for a soul mate. Looking in need of attention and desperate for love won't attract anyone, not to mention that you risk choosing the wrong person.
- Don't confuse chemistry with fate. When you know a person who exerts a magnetic effect on you, your body may indicate that it is your soul mate, but it may also be that it is only hormones and sexual desire that speak. Remember that your significant other may be someone you already know, only you've never considered them from a sentimental point of view. Before deciding whether a person might be the right one, arm yourself with patience and take your time.
- It is dangerous to be so idealistic that you neglect basic precautions and alarm bells. Remember that the world is full of unscrupulous people who are able to take advantage of your hopes and use them against you. For example, if your friends and family think a certain person isn't right for you, don't ignore them. They may have guessed something.
