Here, it's time to meet your girlfriend's parents. You probably feel a mixture of nervousness, excitement and fear. You want them to be happy with you, but you also want to show you who you really are. You can make your first meeting a success by making a good impression, showing interest in the conversation, and preparing yourself properly. Even if you are scared, play ahead by getting the information you need. It is clear that you adore your girlfriend and want to please her family, so don't worry! You will make it.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Making a Good Impression
Step 1. Be on time
By doing this, you will show respect for his parents and the time they are dedicating to you. To avoid rushing, start preparing early and schedule an alarm on your phone to notify you when you need to leave. If you go to the meeting by car, leave early to avoid traffic.
- If the appointment is at their house, arrive on time, but not well in advance as they may still be busy preparing.
- If you see each other on a special occasion or have dinner at the restaurant, arrive a few minutes early to welcome them.
Step 2. Welcome them with a handshake or a hug
Ask your girlfriend how they are used to saying hello. The costumes change according to the origin. Maybe they like a bow, a handshake, a hug, or even a kiss on the cheek.
- If the father prefers to shake hands, extend yours when you see him. Be firm, but not too energetic.
- If in doubt, wait to see how they behave. They may reach out or open their arms before you can take the initiative.
Step 3. Greet them appropriately when you meet them
Don't call them by their first names unless they tell you clearly. Be formal by using "lady" or "mister" followed by the last name.
In most contexts it is advisable to address a woman with a lady and not a young lady, even if the latter is not married. So, don't worry if the parents form a de facto couple
Step 4. Be affectionate with your girlfriend, don't overdo it
Hand her the chair, open the door when she enters the restaurant and pet her every now and then. By doing this, you will show her parents that you love and respect her.
Avoid kissing her lips in front of hers, but put your arm around her shoulder or hold her hand
Step 5. Maintain good posture and eye contact
Good posture demonstrates confidence, so sit with a straight back and walk confidently. Look into the eyes as you speak, but don't stare all the time. If you feel nervous, take a deep breath when you speak and expel the air silently. Remember: everything will be fine.
If you feel nervous on the day of the meeting, try doing some cardiovascular exercise for about thirty minutes in the morning. Run or bike. Even a brisk walk will help you relax your nerves
Step 6. Turn off your phone
Focus completely on your girlfriend's family. On this occasion, keep your phone off or at least out of reach. Show how important their presence is by giving your full attention.
If you have to keep the phone on for work, explain your choice clearly, saying, "If it rings, I apologize in advance. I'm on call at work tonight."
Step 7. Be polite at the table
Whether you are at home or in a restaurant, do not neglect good manners. Don't drink loudly or gulp down everything in front of you. Finish the plate so as not to give the impression of being a person who wastes food.
- Unless you have special dietary restrictions, eat whatever is served to you. Refusing food can be seen as a lack of respect.
- Ask if you can help with clearing or washing dishes if you're a guest at their home. Be sure to clean if dirty. Use the napkin if you spill something or leave a few crumbs.
- Pay the restaurant bill if you have the chance.
- Be careful with alcohol. Accept a glass of wine. You can also avoid drinking unless offered to you. Again, don't overdo it.
Step 8. Respect the home environment
If the meeting is held by his parents, be polite. Give some compliments on the house and decor. When you enter, ask if you need to take off your shoes.
Part 2 of 3: Keeping the Conversation Alive
Step 1. Identify the commonalities
Don't force the conversation, but find a way to stimulate the dialogue. Maybe the father is wearing your favorite team jersey or the mother mentions a book you are reading. They will appreciate that they can share some interest with you.
You might say, "Are you really watching Insecure? It's one of my favorite TV shows. Do you side with Issa Dee or Lawrence Walker?"
Step 2. Ask open-ended questions
Instead of asking for something that involves a terse or terse answer, think about thought-provoking questions. This will show that you are genuinely interested in meeting them.
For example, instead of asking which university they attended, you can say: "Sara told me you graduated from Sapienza. Did you enjoy it?"
Step 3. Find out some funny anecdotes about your girlfriend
Another way to keep the conversation going is to inform yourself about the most hilarious episodes involving your girlfriend. Ask her parents to show you photos from when she was a child or to tell you a few moments from her childhood. Surely you will all laugh and you will be able to ease the tension.
You might say, "Sara told me about your trip to the beach when she was pinched by a crab. Do you have any other funny stories about her childhood?"
Step 4. Maintain a light tone
Avoid bringing up serious topics, such as politics or religion. If they start talking about it and you don't agree, keep your opinions to yourself. Don't engage in sensitive discussions the first time you meet them.
Part 3 of 3: Prepare for the Match
Step 1. Learn the names of his parents
Before meeting them, ask your girlfriend what their names are. Memorize the names and, if they are not married or divorced, write down the surnames to remember them.
Step 2. Find out the main information
Before the meeting, ask your girlfriend what work they do, where they come from, and some insight into their character.
For example, if she tells you that her mother is a hygiene freak, try to look clean and tidy
Step 3. Clean up the house if they have to come and see you
If you've decided to invite them to dinner, make sure your home is spotless before they arrive. Don't just clean common areas, like the kitchen and living room, but tidy up the bedroom and other rooms so you can show off the whole house.
If you live with your girlfriend, don't expect her to do all the cleaning and cooking for the date. Give your contribution
Step 4. Dress well and comb your hair
Appearance is of vital importance on this kind of occasion. Take all the time you need to shower and fix your hair. Choose business-casual attire, unless it's a formal event. If you take care of your appearance you will feel more comfortable.
Business-casual attire includes a break suit, khakis and botton-down shirt or a suit. As for footwear, opt for a pair of closed shoes
Step 5. Bring a thought
While it's not necessary, it's a thoughtful gesture. If his parents like wine, choose a bottle. Alternatively, you can bring a bouquet of flowers for the mother.
Step 6. Expect a few questions
If your girlfriend is very close to her family, parents will likely ask you questions, so be prepared. For example, they may ask you what your intentions are with your daughter or what your job is. If you feel troubled, don't worry. Be honest and show yourself as you really are. It will all be fine!
