Anger and depression are more closely related than you might think, so if you get carried away with anger, you will have a harder time getting over your depression tomorrow. Often controlling depressive disorder depends, in part, on how well you can control your anger.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Linking Anger and Depression
Step 1. Understand the link between anger and depression
They have different moods, but often so intimately connected that it can be difficult to tell them apart.
- Irritability is often considered a symptom of clinical depression, but their connection goes deeper. When uncontrolled, anger can actually trigger or worsen depression.
- Justified anger, the one that stimulates positive change, can be a constructive feeling, but most of the time it knocks people suffering from depression down instead of helping them. Usually it is a rage that explodes uncontrollably, but for some individuals it can be so deeply rooted that they are barely able to recognize it.
- If a fit of anger leaves you feeling guilty, it means it's just fueling your depression, no matter how good it made you at first. So, you will need to control it before you can learn how to control your depression.
Step 2. Learn to distinguish both sensations
Before you can control anger, you will need to recognize it. At the same time, you will also need to highlight your depression and learn to distinguish between these two inner states.
- By consciously defining your state of mind, whether it is angry or depressed, you will be able to capture the feelings that are stirring within you and prevent them from raging out of control.
- If you have a habit of suppressing anger, you will have a hard time identifying it for what it is. Anger can lurk in the soul under the guise of a motivation that prompts you to act impulsively. When the action you are being driven to could cause pain (emotional or physical) to yourself or other people, the underlying mood is likely anger.
Step 3. Reflect on the fundamental problem
Anger often indicates that there is a much deeper problem. To control it, it is necessary to address its cause.
- It could be linked to the cause of the depression. A trauma experienced in the past, for example, can trigger or worsen the depression and at the same time violently bring out all the anger associated with the memory of that trauma.
- Even if there is no connection with a past trauma, there is always a cause connected with the current situation. You will need to locate it if you wish to control the anger it unleashes.
Part 2 of 3: Calm down
Step 1. Calm down now
As soon as your short temper emerges, do whatever it takes to calm down. Anger can be beneficial if exploited correctly, but if you let it loose, it can quickly take over. The following reactions could also lead to depression.
Some steps you could immediately take to calm down are to breathe deeply and engage in positive self-talk. Try taking a few deep breaths using your diaphragm. Once you have regularized your breathing, repeat a word or phrase that has the power to relax, such as "breathe", "relax" or "it's okay". These actions will allow you to eliminate uncontrolled thoughts before they can escalate
Step 2. Take a break
Step away from the situation that sparked your anger and give yourself time to calm down. By finding a distraction that allows you to release a powerful burst of energy in a healthy and controlled way, you can release tension and control anger more effectively.
- Consider moving around to expel excess energy. Go for a walk or a run. Skip rope or jump with legs apart. Any form of exercise that stimulates blood circulation can be helpful.
- Alternatively, do something that can relax and distract you. Listen to relaxing music. Take a bath. Go out with your friends. Do whatever releases positive energies in order to balance them with the negative ones you feel at the moment.
Step 3. Seek support
Talk to someone you trust and tell them how you feel. Try to vent your anger without pouring it out on your interlocutor. In other words, talk to him about how angry you are and what triggered your anger, avoiding getting nervous with whoever is listening to you.
- Wait until you are quiet enough to be able to control your emotions when you are with someone. If you lash out at your confidant, you risk damaging your relationship and creating guilt that could fuel your depression.
- As you speak, be open to constructive criticism and opinion. If the person you are confiding in can give you some advice on how to compromise or improve, consider it as rationally as possible.
Step 4. Keep a journal in which to write down everything you feel
Writing is another way to manage your emotions. Consider writing down your thoughts and situations in which all of your anger arises. It will allow you to calm down and better understand over time what patterns your anger works by.
Periodically review your diary. In theory, you have a tool at your disposal that allows you to collect what you think about the factors that trigger your anger and the methods you use to react. It will also help you notice the patterns that link anger to depression
Step 5. Laugh at life
It may seem impossible to find a reason to laugh in a situation that causes you nothing but anger, but discovering the bright side of life's craziest and most chaotic events can make it easier for you to deal with such circumstances.
- Of course, some situations are too serious to laugh at, so there's no need to go too far to find the funny side in circumstances where a sense of humor is out of place.
- If you can't find a reason to laugh when you're angry, try to get your ironic streak out in another way. By doing so, you can take your mind off the darkest thoughts and rebalance your mood.
Step 6. Formulate positive thoughts towards people
The ideal would be to wish the good of the people you clash with hoping for a positive conclusion that satisfies both sides. When this is not possible, however, try to put aside all your thoughts, desires and hopes and focus on one person you care about the most.
- Try to observe the situation from the perspective of those in front of you until you put yourself in their shoes. Even if you continue to believe that he was wrong, your momentum may wane as you understand his position. This will also make it easier for you to forgive him if he has offended you.
- If at first you are unable to wish the good of the person you collided with, try to wish the happiness of someone who is not involved. An auspicious thought towards anyone can help you leave the state of anger and prevent you from lashing out at others.
Step 7. Avoid substances that make anger and depression worse
When you are angry or depressed, you may be tempted to use alcohol or other substances to drown the anger and pain you feel. However, doing this does more harm than good.
- Alcohol and medications can increase the risk of acting impulsively, and if you are still angry at what has happened, the consequences could be extremely bad.
- Furthermore, the use of drugs and alcohol can give rise to unhealthy behavior patterns that risk creating difficulties in the future.
Part 3 of 3: Preventing Anger Without Feeding Depression
Step 1. Avoid saying or doing something you might regret
Before taking any action, you need to be sure it's not something you may regret later on. If you regret what you did when you were angry, your regret could fuel a deeper sense of depression.
Step 2. Evaluate the reasons you are angry
Anger can have both a positive and a negative effect. However, when it is related to depression, it is very easy for even a healthy fit of anger to turn into something negative.
- Anger motivated by positive factors motivates you to grow and find new solutions. On the other hand, if it is driven by negative reasons, it is accompanied by a sense of loss or inadequacy.
- When anger is motivated by something positive, it usually doesn't feed into depression. However, when driven by a negative force, it needs to be handled with awareness if it is to prevent it from causing or worsening depressive episodes.
Step 3. Accept your situation as it actually presents itself
Obviously, this is easier said than done, but it is essential to accept the circumstances in which your anger arose and stop getting obsessed with the idea that everything is wrong.
- Also consider that maybe you have unreasonable demands that keep you from letting things run wild.
- A common example is the expectation that life should be fair. It is a scenario that would make sense in an ideal world, but the world we live in is far from ideal and injustices happen to everyone to varying degrees. The sooner you can accept the reality of things, the sooner you will be able to accept even the adverse circumstances, without fixing yourself on the idea of how unfair they are.
Step 4. Listen to yourself when you complain
When anger prompts you to complain about the circumstances, pay close attention to the nature of your complaints and try to figure out if you are acting correctly.
- When you openly complain about something, you run the risk of stressing other people. However, if your protests allow you to find a solution, they are probably helpful. Often, however, they are just a means of projecting negativity onto others and hindering problem solving.
- When, on the other hand, you do not communicate your dissent, you run the risk of stressing yourself. This way of complaining almost always fuels depression and could turn you into a passive person, even encouraging feelings of guilt.
Step 5. Turn your anger into something constructive
Once you have calmed down and analyzed the anger you felt, you can use the remaining energy to come to a solution. Depending on the case, you may find yourself facing the prevarications that have led you to lose control or move on in spite of the injustice received.
When you can, find a way to cope without losing your temper. Remember that anger will not solve any problems, but you will have to take action if you intend to find a remedy
Step 6. Express yourself
If you suppress anger, there is a risk that it pours into your soul, only worsening your depressive state. Therefore, you should learn to express the anger you feel towards the people involved in a certain situation, but in a way that is more productive than destructive. This will make it easier to manage once you have calmed down and analyzed your mood.
Depression can escalate if you get stomped on, so submission isn't the right reaction. The secret is to assert yourself without getting defensive or becoming hostile. Fight for your own interests without hindering those of others
Step 7. Seek professional help
If you want to deal with your angry and depressive manifestations, don't be afraid to ask a doctor or a counselor for help. It may be necessary to learn how to control these emotional states.
