How to Combat Depression and Loneliness on Your Own

2024 Author: Samantha Chapman | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 09:13

Depression and loneliness have been quite common moods, but sometimes they can take over inside us. However, there is something you can do on your own to control these feelings, such as correcting dysfunctional thoughts, organizing your day, and taking care of your health. Keep in mind that depression is a very complex disease, so it would be wise to deal with it with outside help if you want to significantly improve your condition.

Steps

Part 1 of 5: Correcting Dysfunctional Thoughts

Step 1. Recognize the most common types of dysfunctional thinking

Dysfunctional thinking is a way of seeing the world that gives you the impression that you are constantly fighting a tough battle. Among the most common examples are:

• Extreme thoughts: not to allow the existence of any shades of gray in life, or to think that "everything is black or white".
• Filter or discount the positives: focus on the negative aspects of a situation and ignore any positive ones.
• Predicting What Will Happen: Thinking you know what will happen in the future.
• Reading other people's thoughts: being convinced that people think badly of you or that you are responsible for their negative feelings.
• Over-generalizing: thinking that a bad experience will lead to even worse ones.
• Blame yourself: Blaming yourself for things you are not responsible for.
• Reasoning following emotions: thinking based on your emotions or letting them influence the perception of an event.
• Formulate "imperative statements": think using expressions such as "should", "must" and "it is necessary"; it is a way of judging oneself.
• Exaggerate and minimize: be convinced that the problems are bigger than they are or try to ignore them.
• Labeling: using terms that despise self-image, agreeing to define oneself on the basis of a certain characteristic or a certain error.

Step 2. Keep a journal

The diary can be a useful tool for analyzing your thoughts without outside help. It will allow you to become aware and change your way of thinking and behaving. This exercise has also been shown to help reduce stress, which can be a corollary to depression and loneliness.

Find the one that best suits your needs. It can be a notebook, loose papers or a computer

Step 3. Check your emotions in the journal

Thoughts greatly influence the state of mind and the way we interpret and perceive our surroundings, the future and ourselves. People with depression often think they are worthless, that they don't deserve love or anything else. Often they are convinced that they live in a context that oppresses them, full of insurmountable obstacles, and that they have no hope for the future.

• Many of those with depression feel powerless to change their mood and the course of their life. The concept that thoughts greatly affect feelings and behaviors underlies cognitive-behavioral therapy, which has been shown to be effective in treating depression. Relapses of depressive symptoms are less frequent in those who undergo this therapeutic path than in those who have only followed drug therapy.
• A great way to start this exercise is to keep your emotions and thoughts that arise automatically under control by recording them in a journal or diary. Start by noticing mood changes first, then analyze the nature of your thoughts before focusing on anything else.

• Example:

  • Situation: I have not received positive feedback on my working relationship.
  • Feeling: I felt embarrassed.

• Another example:

  • Situation: I forgot to sign the birthday card for my boss.
  • Feeling: I felt regretful and embarrassed.

  

  Step 4. Write down thoughts that arise automatically

  Automatic thoughts include everything that spontaneously passes through the mind. Usually they are divided into three types: on one's own account, on the world and on the future. Once you identify the sensations that arose in a given circumstance in which your mood has changed, you can begin to analyze the automatic thoughts connected to the situation. Then, evaluate them to know how dysfunctional they are and address them by looking for evidence for and against.

  • In the diary, create a chart in which to record certain situations, the related feelings and thoughts that arose just before the feelings.

  • Example:

    • Situation: I have not received positive feedback on my working relationship.
    • Feeling: I felt embarrassed.
    • Automatic thinking: I'm stupid.
    • Identify dysfunctional thinking: I'm labeling myself.

  • Another example:

    • Situation: I forgot to sign the birthday card for my boss.
    • Feeling: I felt regretful and embarrassed.
    • Automatic thinking: I know my boss will hate me now.
    • Identify dysfunctional thinking: I'm trying to read someone else's thinking.

    

    Step 5. Write rational thoughts in order to rephrase the automatic ones

    Neutralize the automatism of labeling with more rational thoughts. To produce them, look for evidence for or against thoughts that have arisen automatically, looking for a similar situation in the past, in which an automatic thought has not turned out to be true, and analyze the situation to identify the faults and redistribute them in a fairer manner of responsibility for impressions and circumstances among the other people possibly involved.

    • Example:

      • Situation: I have not received positive feedback on my working relationship.
      • Feeling: I felt embarrassed.
      • Thought: I'm stupid.
      • Rational thinking: my person is not reduced to my thoughts and behaviors. I'm not a label. I'm not stupid. I made a mistake and will do better next time.

    • Another example:

      • Situation: I forgot to sign the birthday card for my boss.
      • Feeling: I felt regretful and embarrassed.
      • Automatic thinking: I know my boss will hate me now.
      • Rational thinking: I can't know what my boss is thinking of me. It was a good faith mistake. I can always make up for it, by wishing him my best wishes in person.

      Part 2 of 5: Organizing the Day

      

      Step 1. Plan each hour of your day

      Combat depression and loneliness by structuring your days with the help of careful planning. In this way you will be able to fight depression, counteract the lack of motivation and the sense of helplessness and also reduce the time spent brooding. These attitudes are all associated with depression.

      • The act of brooding leads to reproducing a scenario or problem in the mind over and over again, like a broken record. While some people see it as a way to solve problems ("I look at this problem from every angle until I get to grips with it"), you run the risk of continuing to get discouraged, if the problem is distressing, until you stop thinking about it.
      • Get an agenda with timetables. Make sure you plan every hour of the day. Include time to update your diary, rest, exercise, relax, and take care of yourself. To combat loneliness, schedule moments for social interactions or moments to spend with your pet.

      

      Step 2. Check your agenda frequently

      Carry it with you so that you adhere to your schedules carefully. It is important to do every planned activity, so you will need to prepare for everything that awaits you throughout the day.

      

      Step 3. Write down how you felt during your activities

      After completing the planned activities, write down the level of competence you think you have achieved, but also the pleasure you have felt, once you have completed something. These notes may be useful in the future, in case you feel that you are not up to your tasks or that you are able to appreciate what you are doing.

      Avoid rating your activities on an "all or nothing" scale. Instead, try to rate them on a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 corresponds to a low level of competence or pleasure, while 10 equals the highest level of competence and pleasure

      

      Step 4. Go back to being self-sufficient

      Sometimes those suffering from depression must regain their autonomy if over time they have become accustomed to relying on friends or family to take care of their daily needs. This path starts with resuming the responsibilities relating to the care of one's person.

      It is important to start from a specific sector, planning it daily. For example, you can start taking care of your personal hygiene and, in the meantime, note the extent to which you gradually become master of this task. At first you may report that you were only able to get out of bed without taking a shower. It may seem like an insignificant achievement, but it is much better than before. Use your agenda and feelings about what you are able to do as you go to regain your autonomy. Once you have successfully showered, you can tackle the task of making the bed, cleaning the house, and so on

      

      Step 5. Plan a variety of distractions to use in times of difficulty

      It is important to know how and when to use distractions to combat obsessive thoughts and strong emotions. It will be helpful to have a number of key distractions in case you have to ruminate all the time, feel overwhelmed, or lonely.

      Some examples include: exercising, having coffee with a friend, painting, reading, meditating, praying, or playing with a pet. Write these distraction methods in your journal or diary. Consult them frequently so you can remember which strategy to use to distract yourself

      Part 3 of 5: Overcoming Loneliness

      

      Step 1. Reflect on the similarities between you and others

      Often, loneliness comes from the belief that one's own experiences are radically different from those of others. However, we all experience the same emotions, from joy and love to disappointment and anger. Observe how universal the activity of the human soul is.

      

      Step 2. Chat with people you meet

      If you are feeling lonely, it can be helpful to have a chat with the supermarket shelf clerk or cashier. You will feel like you've established a bond with someone, even if you haven't had a long, in-depth conversation.

      Even a simple gesture, like a greeting to your neighbor, can help you feel more in tune with others. It may be that it is the stimulus you need to start a conversation that could turn into a long lasting friendship

      

      Step 3. Get involved

      You may feel lonely because you are shy or because you have just arrived in an unfamiliar context. One of the ways to overcome loneliness is to be brave and take some risks. Expose yourself so that you can strike up a conversation with someone who looks interesting. Alternatively, ask an acquaintance if they'd like to join you for a walk. Who knows, maybe this person might feel as lonely as you and appreciate your invitation.

      

      Step 4. Connect with people who have similar interests to yours

      Maybe you feel lonely because you have extremely special interests. Maybe you are a mountain bike enthusiast, but you don't know any other enthusiast. Search online to find an association or community that brings people together or organizes activities around what you like. If you can't find one in your area, there will probably be some group meeting on the net.

      

      Step 5. Volunteer in your community

      When you feel lonely, you have a tendency to focus on your feelings and how dissatisfied you are. If you turn your attention to the needs of others, you will be able to channel what you feel differently. Find a non-profit organization near you. You could volunteer at an animal shelter, for example.

      Part 4 of 5: Improve Your Health

      

      Step 1. Establish regular sleep schedules

      Recent studies have shown that when you sleep, your brain performs a deep "cleansing". The body uses this time to eliminate toxins and other substances that are harmful to the body. If you don't get enough sleep, you are more susceptible to mental stress, as toxin buildup makes it difficult for the brain to function properly.

      • So make sure you get enough rest and stay asleep to give your brain plenty of time to "recover".
      • Generally speaking, adults need about 8 hours of sleep. However, many people need more sleep, while others need even fewer hours. Do several tests to find out your ideal needs.

      

      Step 2. Try to expose yourself to natural light as much as possible

      Exposure to sunlight plays an important role in controlling depression. Some people may suffer from a condition known as seasonal affective disorder, which occurs during the winter when there is no sun, and can cause profound depression. For other people, the cause of the problem is that they spend too much time indoors. In any case, try to stay in the sun as much as possible every day.

      • You can decide to have lunch outside, even when it's cold.
      • Try walking to work or school, at least part of the way, so that you are more exposed to sunlight during the day.
      • You can also decide to buy a sun lamp or have your doctor prescribe one.

      

      Step 3. Start introducing some physical activity into your life

      When you exercise, the brain releases chemicals called endorphins and serotonin, which help you not feel pain when you strain your muscles, but they also perform another important function: they make you feel happy. Many studies on depression have focused precisely on the body's inability to regulate the production of these chemicals, in fact many antidepressant drugs act on their control. This means that exercise can really help you manage depression.

      • A great way to work out while managing depression is to jog or swim. Both of these activities are known to help clear your mind, as they allow you to focus on the external environment and the physical sensation of what you are doing.
      • Work out about 35 minutes a day or an hour 3 times a week. These rhythms have been found to be most effective in fighting depression.

      

      Step 4. Eat healthy and nutritious foods

      What you eat can affect brain activity in a multitude of ways. Studies show that some ingredients found in today's diet, such as gluten and sugar, can lead to depression. Try to eat plenty of fruits and vegetables, rich in nutrients, whole grains and proteins to properly feed the brain. Reduce your consumption of refined sugars, industrial products, and fried foods.

      

      Step 5. Increase your consumption of omega-3 fatty acids

      They play a vital role in brain health. It has been proven that a diet rich in these substances can help improve the mood. Excellent sources of omega-3s are fish and eggs. Alternatively, you can take fish oil supplements.

      Part 5 of 5: Deciding to Contact Outside Help

      

      Step 1. Know what "outside help" means to you

      It is important to understand what "outside help" means, but also to know when it is needed. It is a personal choice, similar to that made in health care. However, it is essential to realize that not wanting any outside help, even from friends and family, could be a depressive symptom that leads the person to isolate themselves because they feel heavy or weak from their depression. Here are some definitions of "outside help":

      • Some people may consider the use of psychotropic drugs to fight depression "outside help".
      • Others may be undergoing psychotherapy, while trying to overcome the problem in a "natural" way.
      • Still others may not consult a psychotherapist because they feel they are being stigmatized, considered insane, or burdening others.
      • Finally, others may not even want any "outside help", not even from friends and family.

      

      Step 2. Try not to avoid social support

      It is important that you realize that depression does not represent who you are. It is a disease like any other. Don't let dysfunctional and automatic thoughts about feeling a burden or weak discourage you from having a social life with friends and family, and seek their support when you need it. Social support is essential and protects you against depression and loneliness.

      • In fact, some research shows that having social support lessens tensions and can help find solutions to problems, especially in those who have a hard time fighting depression.
      • Furthermore, social support is the first way to deal with loneliness, because it helps to feel connected with others and with life.

      

      Step 3. Develop a safety plan

      Without a doubt, you should feel able to fight depression and overcome it on your own. However, while this attitude is admirable, remember that mental health takes top priority over the ability to fight depression.

      • Choose who to call and prepare a plan to know what kind of outside help to seek if you reach a stage where you absolutely need assistance. This is a safety plan that includes the names of friends, family, doctors, and emergency numbers to call for help.
      • For example, you can compile a list that includes some important phone numbers: your mother, your best friend, doctor, nurse, or hospital.
      • Also include the suicide risk line that responds to the call center 331.87.68.950, the police emergency number (113) and 118.

      

      Step 4. Tell the contact persons that you have developed a safety plan

      Explain how they can help you if you need to call them. Assign them specific tasks that can be useful if you are not in imminent danger. For example, they may simply keep you company until they are certain that you are not a threat to yourself. In other cases, they may need to contact your doctor or take you to the emergency room for an examination.

      

      Step 5. Seek immediate help if you intend to commit suicide

      If you are thinking about suicide or are no longer able to live normally, ask for outside help. Call the suicide risk line (331.87.68.950), Telefono Amico (199.284.284) or 118.