There is no single magic formula for being a wonderful husband. Every partner and every marriage is different, however there are some common problems that many married couples face and part of being a great husband is being able to cope with these problems. In general, being a great husband involves treating your partner with love, growing with her, and keeping the lines of communication open.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Treat Your Partner with Respect
Step 1. Be honest with your partner about what you think and feel
In a mature relationship, honesty is the best policy. It can be difficult, but the truth will allow the relationship to breathe. If something is wrong let them know, otherwise they won't trust your opinion.
- Suggest an alternative and support it. For example, if she asks you for an opinion on the clothes you are trying on, let her know that they are not bad but that you think the blue one is the best because it matches her eyes.
- It may not always be easy to be honest and kind at the same time, so focus on learning how to give sandwich feedback and you'll both be better off.
Step 2. Communicate openly with your partner
As relationships progress, there is the risk of communicating less and less. Fight this trend and be open about your feelings, your daily experiences, and your finances. Make sure you are really listening, not just waiting your turn to speak. Your attitude should make your partner understand that she can tell you anything.
- Tell your partner what you think and do not assume that they can read your mind. When you think she is beautiful, tell her. When you think you're lucky to have her by your side, tell her. Just like you, she will enjoy feeling appreciated too.
- If you have any issues affecting your mood (for example, you've come back from a bad day at work), make sure your partner knows about them. This way you won't just look like a fickle and irritable person, but more importantly, they'll know you're not mad at them.
Step 3. Help out with housework
Tidy up after eating and when you get home from work or a social event. Don't make your partner ask you to help out around the house and don't make her feel like a kitchen maid, which is never a good thing. Your wife is your partner, not your mom. Show her that she can count on you to run the house.
Contribute to housework: wash dishes, vacuum and dust. Your partner will notice your strong interest in the home you share and the fact that you take pride in creating an environment where it is enjoyable to spend time
Step 4. Take responsibility for your actions
This is a great way to show your partner that you have some emotional maturity and that you are adult enough to deal with the consequences of your actions, whether they are good or bad. Responsible people honor their commitments, accept their duties, and are accountable for the damage they cause, the debts they incur and the demands they make.
For example, if your partner finds out that you criticized her behind her back, don't apologize and don't deny what happened. Say something like, "It's true I said these things about you and I'm sorry. The next time I feel upset by something you've done, I'll talk to you first."
Step 5. Don't ignore or belittle your partner
It can be really exasperating to feel treated like second-class people in a relationship. Many have been taught that the only way to get attention, when their partner is trying to ignore them, is to act in a more emotional and pedantic way until the partner eventually gives up and pays attention to them, even if they are annoyed.
- If your partner feels that you are cold towards her she may worry, especially when this happens without any explanation from you.
- If you know your mood might be causing you to overreact, just say to her, "I'm really feeling pissed off right now. Can we talk about it later, after I've calmed down a bit?"
Step 6. Don't be scornful or sarcastic with your partner
Contempt and sarcasm can poison a relationship. If your partner does something you don't like, don't assume a superior attitude, even in passing. Avoid wry smiles, sighs of disgust, eyes to heaven and similar attitudes. Such gestures, although apparently insignificant, show a profound lack of support, respect and trust, especially if prolonged over time.
- The way you spontaneously act towards your partner should validate her as a person, even when you don't understand her or disagree with her.
- If you show contempt in front of your children, they will think it is an appropriate way to treat your partner.
Part 2 of 3: Show Your Partner it's Important
Step 1. Put your partner first in your daily life
He is the person you have chosen to spend your life with - treat them as such. Talk to her and set clear expectations about which decisions you can make on your own and which ones absolutely must be made as a couple. Ask for her opinion when in doubt, to show her that you appreciate her contribution.
For example, if you know your partner is making dinner at home and a colleague asks you to go for an aperitif with him, say something like: "I'll come next time: my wife cared that you were home for a while. dinner tonight"
Step 2. Be their biggest supporter
Try to be someone your partner knows she can always count on. Be there when he has had a difficult day. Listen to her carefully and encourage her when she faces difficult times. Say something like, "I'm sorry you had a hard day at work, but I know you are great at what you do and I love the way you totally dedicate yourself to whatever task you are given." You can also support her by talking well about her with mutual friends.
If you've caused her any pain, even if you didn't want to, tell her you're sorry and show her your love. You have to be honest! There is nothing worse than a false or insincere "I'm sorry"
Step 3. Take care of your relationship
Relationships are enjoyable and rewarding, but they can also be difficult and work a lot. Invest time and energy in caring for your partner, your relationship and your family. You may feel overwhelmed by children, work, or other aspects of your life. Make a commitment to support her, no matter what she's going through.
Give her a hand; cook her her favorite dish or pour her a glass of the wine she loves. Help her with the children and do some chores (like washing the dishes)
Step 4. Ask your partner what you can do to make things work
Part of being a great husband involves asking your partner if they feel they have needs that you don't meet or if they would like you to contribute to the relationship in a different way. Ask her what she needs to feel loved. Try saying something like, "I think things have been going great between us lately, however I would really like to know if there is anything you would like me to do or some other way I can contribute to the success of our marriage?".
- If your partner needs you to compliment her, learn to master this art. If she needs you to come home on time in the evening, be on time and if you know you'll be late, call her to let her know.
- If your partner needs you to help the kids with their homework, spend time with family instead of hanging out with friends.
Part 3 of 3: Keeping Romance and Passion Alive
Step 1. Be romantic with your partner every day
The meaning of "being romantic" varies a lot from person to person, but basically romance involves doing something to express affection in a meaningful but unexpected way. A true act of romance requires creativity and sincerity, often inspired by love (both its presence and its possibility). Reintroduce the excitement that characterized the beginning of your relationship.
- For example, treat your partner as if she is single and you are trying to win her affection and trust. The opposite of being in love is taking things for granted. Nobody wants to feel like they have already been "conquered" once and for all.
- There are a million ways to say "I love you" and "I'm lucky to have you with me". Buy her a bouquet of flowers, make her dinner, or surprise her with a short weekend getaway.
- You might also try to recreate special moments you experienced in the early days of your relationship, like going back to the restaurant where you went on the first date.
Step 2. Keep your sex life active
Over the years, a couple's sex life can start to feel like a routine or slow down. Think about how to counter this. For example, say hello to your partner in the morning as if you don't want her to leave. Give her something to think about all day. Suggest new ideas to try in the bedroom or ask her if there's a new sex act, new sex toy, or new position she wants to try. Be willing to put her pleasure ahead of yours.
- Talk about sex, both what worked well and what didn't. Intimacy (emotional and physical) is important for maintaining a healthy relationship.
- Sex is even more fun when the anticipation is built. Whisper a few tips into your partner's ear early in the day so that both of you can't wait to get together for some intimate moments after work.
Step 3. Give her some surprise gifts
Anyone can purchase a gift for a birthday, anniversary or Christmas. Listen to it when you are around window-shopping and if there is something she likes, and you can afford it, keep it in mind to give it to her when she least expects it, for no particular reason. You can also buy something on your way home from work and tell her you were thinking of her when you saw it.
The gift doesn't have to be big or expensive. Buying a book that you know she will like or a CD of her favorite band is already a beautiful gesture
Advice
- Discuss your financial plans and try to plan them to make them happen together.
- Spend quality time with your partner. This means laughing, talking, having fun together. Show her that wherever you are, you feel good when you are with her.
- Praise your partner in public (up to a point … don't overdo it!). But if you notice an aspect on which you would like to make a slightly more critical note, find a private moment.
- Thank your partner when you appreciate her help. It sounds simple, but it makes a huge difference.
- When your partner is angry, listen to her and ask questions. Show her that you are trying to understand the reasons for her anger or frustration. If she is mad at you, make sure you understand why. It can be difficult to learn that you have hurt or upset her, but listen carefully and sincerely apologize if you did something wrong.
