Are you a novice housewife or are you just looking to improve? Either way, this article will give you some ideas for creating the perfect home and maintaining a healthy relationship with your husband.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Part 1: Rule the House
Step 1. Cook healthy stuff
Try to prepare healthy meals to keep your family at their best, as well as be healthy and strong (to face the challenges of everyday life!). If you don't know what to cook, try to learn!
- Plan ahead, to serve delicious lunches when he gets home. It is often said that the way to a man's heart is through the stomach and it is absolutely true! Microwave meals are not suitable, so find a cookbook and start experimenting.
- Preparing a great meal is a great way to let him know that you have thought about it and that you care about his needs. A great dinner is an expression of love and a warm welcome home.
Step 2. Keep the house clean
Do your best to have a pleasant home to live in. Cleanliness and order reduce stress, making everything better. If you keep up with the housework, you'll avoid having to always search for keys that aren't in the right place or the terrible stagnant smell of dirty dishes.
Step 3. Do the Laundry
Washing is stressful and often time-consuming, plus leaving dirty laundry lying around causes bad odors. If you want to reduce your husband's stress, take care of the cleaning of his clothes. By planning this carefully, you can also incorporate this into your daily routine. And children can help fold!
Step 4. Make a schedule
You are the general and your family are your troops. You have to make everything go smoothly! Set schedules for cleaning and the rest of the day so everything goes as it should. Planning the use of time is the right way to success, as you will waste very little of it!
Step 5. Wake up early
Get started on the right foot to make everything easier. Sleeping too much will tire you more. Getting up early will ensure that the lunch bags are done, that everyone is dressed and ready to go out, without having to rush or worry about finding the things that are missing.
Step 6. Create a healthy environment
Each family member should return to a healthy, comfortable, and welcoming home. Do your best to make sure you are meeting the emotional and spiritual needs of everyone, including yours, by making your castle the best it can be.
Part 2 of 4: Part 2: Maintaining Your Relationship
Step 1. Discuss expectations with your partner
Talk about realistic ones and how to fulfill them. Don't assume you have the same ones, as you may find yourself in arguments that you don't want to face. Sit down and talk about it.
- The definition of a good housewife depends on the house you live in. And it is cultural-dependent.
- What are the things he hopes you will do? What are your responsibilities at home? If you are primarily responsible for the progress of the hearth, then he may be responsible for supporting you, throwing the dirty clothes in the basket, putting the dishes in the dishwasher, etc.
- If you also look after the kids during the day, you'd be surprised how difficult it is to keep up with the work. Your husband should help you with cooking and cleaning if possible.
Step 2. Look after your appearance
It's easy to stop caring when you have a husband, but attraction is the key to a long relationship. As important as it was during engagement / courtship, it is even more important in marriage or "any relationship". Try not to neglect personal cleanliness, so bathe or shower regularly and wear clean clothes. This way you will communicate to your husband that you have respect and care for yourself.
If your husband often tells you that he likes you wearing a certain thing, then take the hint
Step 3. Treat him like an adult
It is important that your husband is in control in certain personal situations such as choosing his hobbies, clothes, etc. When you stay at home, it can be easy to take control of everything he does at home, but your husband doesn't necessarily like it. It's okay to give him some suggestions in a polite way and if he asks you. Otherwise, give it space just as you would like yours. He is different from you, remember that.
Step 4. Listen to it
A good wife listens to her husband without interrupting him. Show empathy and learn how to have a great conversation. The basic idea is that to be good at speaking, you need to listen more, letting the other tell your interests. It is a sign of humility, respect, selflessness and generosity.
Plus you'll set a good example and he'll end up listening to you more
Step 5. Find a balance in discussions, but avoid them if possible
Grumbling never works and irritates the other. Equally wrong is not saying what is on your mind. Husbands are not tyrannical creatures - if you find a balance and speak in turns, things will definitely improve. Just remember that it takes respect and you will see improvements.
Some quarrels are normal. Don't worry if they happen. You are two different people and it will happen that you disagree! Handle this in a healthy way and everything will be okay
Step 6. Love your spouse as he is'. Do not criticize him in a cruel and destructive way, grumbling at him. Whatever image of 'ideal' you have, we are all unique in our own way, so you have to respect that. Before trying to improve others, try to be better yourself. If you find reasons for disagreement, tell him in a mature way, with tact and love and he will probably understand, ending up agreeing with you or explaining some things to you; you will also increase the trust between you and save yourself unnecessary conflicts.
Part 3 of 4: Part 3: Making an Extra Effort
Step 1. Enhance your intimacy in the room
A healthy sexual relationship is extremely important over time. This does not necessarily mean having a lot of sex but that both partners should be satisfied with quantity and quality. Talk about your expectations and become a better lover if you can. It never hurts and will help you learn more about the aspects of sex in marriage.
Step 2. Be aware of your spouse's needs
People need space and time to be alone from time to time. You have some during the day (when the kids are asleep or at school), your husband doesn't, so he may feel the need to be alone when he gets home after a hard day at work. Spend time with him to support and comfort him, but if he wants to be alone or with friends, take a step back and let him.
Help him relax by welcoming him with a nice smile. Prepare his favorite dinner and drink and let him decompress after a bad day
Step 3. Create activities for your children
Educational and fun things to do all together too. You can research for a guided tour of the museum or go exploring and teaching about the beauties of nature.
Step 4. Be a great host
Show everyone that you are a hard-working wizard by throwing neighborhood parties or around Christmas, Easter, etc. Prepare great food, decorate the house and organize fun activities. This way you will create bonds with others while having fun!
Step 5. Create the perfect mood
If you really want to overdo it, take your home decorating skills up a notch and try to give it that glossy magazine look. This way, you and your husband will have something to be proud of, as well as having a perfect environment for your children.
Step 6. Send your husband "out of the house"
Help him create activities just for him, like a group of friends playing soccer or bowling night. This way it will download. A happy husband makes a wife less nervous. Let him choose his activities of course, but make sure he sometimes knows what you think is healthy for him when he's out of the house. It's not all about work!
Part 4 of 4: Part 4: Maintaining the Mood
Step 1. Go out often
It's easy to get trapped off work and barely go out during the day. And this is the antechamber of depression. Find some weekly activities (e.g. search the library) that take you out of the house at least once a day. If you realize in the afternoon that you haven't gone out yet, go for a walk, walk into a bookstore or café for half an hour, or call a friend for tea.
Step 2. Make friends
Elementary, right? Housewives are often so busy that they forget to have time for friends and to continue nurturing social relationships. If you create an environment where your husband is the only friend, you will find yourself talking to him until you drop! Spend time with friends (at lunch or meet weekly) to make sure everyone is happy.
Step 3. Create a hobby
You have to do something that makes you happy. Something that is all yours and that gives you the opportunity to be productive or creative even outside the home. This way you will have an emotional outlet. Try some productive hobbies like sewing or cooking.
Step 4. Consider studying
Just because you don't need a degree for what you do doesn't mean you can't improve your level of study! Learning is fun and will make you feel more positive and confident. You don't have to go to a real school. You can read a lot more books (get them at the library!) Or take online courses through sites like Coursera.
Step 5. Consider working from home
There are so many that are doable if you have some free time. This way you will contribute to the budget and have something to be proud of! You can open a home kindergarten or a pet boarding house or even do data entry jobs or open a travel agency. The options are endless!
Step 6. Let your family take care of you sometimes
You work hard for them and they should help you on occasion. They will probably do it spontaneously, but if you can, save one day a month to do what you want. This will have the added effect of making them appreciate what you do even more.
Advice
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No gossip.
Gossip is in bad taste, no matter if it seems fashionable. Talking behind people's backs will make you untrustworthy, and if your husband finds out, he has the right to wonder if you've talked about him too. Discussing your problems with a trusted friend is one thing, but opening the gossip club is another. Always be respectful so that everyone (including your husband) treats you equally.
- Take a break. A good housewife does not have to take care of the house and children twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, cleaning and cooking all the time. If your husband takes time off after work (evenings, weekends), you deserve it as well. Maybe he could do your laundry or hang out with the guys when you take your "off" day to recharge, volunteering, going to a spa, or spending time with friends. Not only will this allow you to take care of yourself, but it will allow him to understand what it means to do housework or take care of the children, and for this he may respect you even more. Never take too much time though, because in many cultures being industrious is a virtue. Be generous, work industriously, and you will be respected. Also consider doing some activities with your husband, you might have fun. Always remember that you need some alone time. So taking a break every now and then will be a great excuse to do it.
- Pay close attention to the little things. Remember her birthday, anniversaries, etc. Remember the hole in the shirt and mend it. Clean the speck on the jacket. Small attentions build big ones and the result will be a happy marriage.
- Develop and maintain an exercise routine to keep your energy and mental levels constant. If you can afford it, find a gym (with space for kids if you have one), and go to it regularly. Or if you can't, look for videos on the internet or at the supermarket. If no alternative is right for you, take your dog for a walk often.
- Create a pleasant atmosphere in the house. Teach your kids not to argue too often (it inevitably happens!) - excess noise will strain both you and your husband. Make yourself a CD of classical or relaxing music and listen to it often. Noise is inevitable but you CAN avoid excess. And everyone will benefit from it.
- The problems you have at home can be discussed with someone you trust, but it is not wise or right to discuss it with everyone you meet. Don't be suspicious of everyone, but be discreet and moderate when talking about your personal and family problems. Nobody wants to shout their quarrels from the rooftops.
- Learn first aid, to help the family in case of need.
- Encourage your husband to take some time to decompress and relax, but make sure you can have the same time for yourself! Women are less likely to stand up for themselves and ask for free time.
- If your man is the type to explode and say hurtful and hurtful things because he hasn't received a different upbringing, remember that some are used to unhealthy relationships and bad habits die hard. Don't make the same mistakes as him. Show him that you have class and wait for it to finish. Once finished, in a calm tone, clarify your position and remind him that you want the same respect that you give him and that you will not tolerate the opposite. People can change and if you love someone you should give them the opportunity to fix their weaknesses.
- Remember: if you feel depressed, stressed, tired, talk to him. After all, you are a person and marriage is about both of you: support and understanding are a must from both of you and you deserve it too.
- If your man gives you gifts, be grateful by using them so you don't offend him. Remember that if you don't like something, you should tell him politely and still be grateful - that way he'll get to know you better.
- If you have a newborn baby and are struggling to keep up, find help from your husband, family or friends! Do not underestimate the energy that a newborn absorbs.
- Breakfast in bed on weekends is great for making your man feel good.
- If you experiment with a new recipe, make an alternative in case it doesn't go quite the way you want.
- Never criticize, condemn, complain, yell, or tell your husband that he is wrong. Nobody would appreciate it. Make sure he knows when you don't approve of something. If you need to point out the disagreement, try the sandwich technique. Make sure you give plenty of sincere compliments and appreciation for things well done before arguing about mistakes.
- Mention his name, always. Men (like everyone!) Like to hear their name and saying it will make them feel special.
- Avoid fights like the plague and apologize as soon as possible.
- Make sure there are often the dishes and drinks of your choice.
- Show how much you value his love by giving him a massage.
- Yoga classes, playgrounds and libraries are great places to meet other mothers.
- Whatever you do, don't give up on who you are. Many men will try to change you to have you the way they want. Stay attached to yourself. They fell in love with you and the way you are, so don't change too much.
- Maintain your diet. Even if you're not a great cook, make sure everyone in the family eats well. If you don't know how to cook, practice and try to make simple meals with fresh, healthy ingredients. No matter how busy your day is, make sure you feed yourself regularly and healthily. Don't eat junk, try to snack on healthy fruit and nuts.
- Whatever you do, don't give up on who you are. Many men try to change their mates and get them to do what they want. Don't give in. Yours has fallen in love with the way you are, so don't change radically.
- Don't complain about his favorite TV show; but ask him if you can take turns looking at it.
