Gone are the days when the pregnant bride had a rushed and subdued marriage to cover up the "shame". More realistic and relaxed social costumes have consolidated and many brides are pregnant today: in 2001, a wedding dress atelier estimated that about 20% of their clients were pregnant. Both pregnancy and marriage are occasions to celebrate, so the bride has every right to stand tall and feel proud, as well as to look radiant on her special day.
Steps
Step 1. Try to understand the feelings of those around you
For some people, their cultural or religious beliefs and expectations can make it difficult to accept your choice to be a pregnant bride. You have to pity them because they take things literally without thinking about the consequences, including the fact that you have chosen to marry and live with your husband and child. Take some time to talk to these people about their feelings, listen well, and explain how you feel. You probably won't see things the same way, but if you avoid venting anger and frustration at them, you will earn their respect, albeit reluctantly.
- Explain to those who cry out for shame and complain that the modern attitude is more compassionate and serene.
- Sharon Naylor, author of The Bride's Diplomacy Guide, suggests that if you get veiled criticism of getting married "like that" you should respond with something like: "We have been blessed and are happy to share our marriage with our families."
Step 2. Don't act like you are ashamed
This wrong emotion is capable of ruining you, your future spouse and the growing child himself who will one day understand what the wedding was like and how you felt about it. Be proud of the decisions you make. Pregnancy "and" marriage are two things to be very excited about, so you must be proud of them!
- Know that those who in turn had to marry young due to pregnancy, could experience it as a particular challenge. She might feel resentment because you are instead radiant and proud to show your belly while she had to do it all stealthily and quickly.
- Address the "white dress" issue. White dresses are an invention of the Victorian era, following the fact that Queen Victoria married in white (her example made proselytes at the time); later, the idea of white took on a strange, exaggeratedly moral meaning, which was not even the reason why the color then became fashionable. Today, white is typically seen as a traditional color and not as a moral judgment. If you want to dress in white, that's fine. Likewise, if you prefer another color choose that one. Don't get swayed by social conventions that are confusing and out of date!
Step 3. Talk to the officiant if you want a religious ceremony
Some churches do not allow a church wedding to the pregnant bride, but they are rare. Ask around without shame.
- Some congregations require a premarital course. Question to know.
- Some priests or officiants expect your marriage to be more "low key", almost private. If that's something you don't want, keep looking or think about a compromise, like a private wedding and a large reception.
Step 4. As for the dress, expect some snags, but don't go for a dress that makes you look a lot
Find a good stylist and explain in detail how pregnant you will be by the wedding date. The dress will need to be modifiable because you can't predict how big you will get and how your pregnancy will go, so ask the stylist to keep this in mind when making it. Better loose stuff than non-tight, tight and snug waist. The suitable style of the dress includes an empire, princess or triangle line.
- Emphasize shoulders and torso to distract attention from the belly.
- If you are buying a maternity wedding dress it would be a good idea to try it on before the wedding to make sure you are comfortable in it.
- Avoid corsets, tight bodysuits or any other garments that tighten. For a woman with large breasts and limbs that ache, the watchword is freedom.
Step 5. Forget those beautiful high heels
Choose comfortable ballet flats that will allow you to stay on your feet for longer without feeling more tired and sore than your pregnancy is already making you.
Step 6. Bring the usual accessories
The veil, the jewels, the handbag and the bouquet remain unchanged compared to the volume of the belly so enjoy them.
Step 7. Get a fake faith
Pregnancy tends to make most women swollen, and your fingers will certainly not be immune. One solution in this case is to have both the actual ring and a "fake" wedding ring, which you will use for the ceremony and then put it away once your fingers are back as they usually are. If you want that wedding ring instead, you could wear it as a pendant or keep it on the pillow next to the fake one, where you will store it once you exchange promises.
You can also buy a ring that fits the size of swollen fingers and then have it tightened once you give birth
Step 8. Design the menu.
You can't eat certain foods when pregnant, so make sure there are alternatives. This doesn't mean that others can't enjoy what's there, just that you'll need to find something that's good for you too. The things you won't be able to enjoy with them are:
Alcohol, seafood, raw fish, dairy, and whatever your doctor has advised against
Step 9. Think of the honeymoon as realistic and very relaxing
You deserve a double dose of pampering for all the weariness the baby and marriage will bring you. Find a place that isn't difficult to reach and doesn't require too much planning, but that gives you peace, relaxation and pampering yourself.
- If you make a flight check that both routes (including the return) are equipped: most airlines do not accept pregnant women beyond a certain period, unless it is an emergency.
- Check that the insurance covers any complications and childbirth. And remember to inquire about the location of the nearest hospital in case of an emergency.
- Another way around any problems is to postpone the honeymoon until the baby is born. You will need rest and a babysitter!
Step 10. Enjoy your wedding
Fatigue can be the biggest factor during the ceremony, especially if it is long. You may need to sit more times than you think, so make sure there are chairs in strategic places for you to rest. Talk to the celebrant regarding length or ask for a stool or something to lean on next to you if needed. Try to do everything possible to avoid excess fatigue, choose comfortable shoes, drink enough and make sure you have easy access to the bathroom. For the rest, focus on the moment and try to enjoy it to the fullest because it's your day and you deserve the best you can.
Advice
- Those who design wedding dresses also make them for pregnant women, although these lines are not heavily advertised because they don't sell much. However, do not fear and do not be ashamed: ask the store or where you want to buy the dress and you will see.
- Hiding the fact that you are pregnant with a loose dress is only possible in early pregnancy. Go one size up, find a more elaborate dress on the top, and use a large bouquet.
- Consider the length of everything: ceremony, reception, speeches, etc. and think seriously about making cuts where possible. Depending on your stamina, it might be a bad idea to throw a party that goes on late into the night. In this case, accept the idea of apologizing at some point and retire before the guests, leaving them the rest of the fun.
