Whether it's money from their parents' wallet, school supplies, or even store items, there are several ways a teenager might start stealing. Depending on the value of what he steals, theft can be associated with a more or less serious penalty. However, regardless of the value, stealing can generate feelings of shame, embarrassment and guilt, both in the teens themselves and in the parents, when they learn about it. There are some steps you can take to prevent a guy from stealing and to prevent him from getting into serious trouble.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Punishing the Teen for Stealing
Step 1. Explain the consequences of the theft
Perhaps you have discovered that your child has stolen money from your wallet or you have found stolen items in his backpack. If this is the first time he has behaved in this way and he has not been charged with any crime, it is important that you seat him at the table explaining that taking possession of what belongs to others is illegal and could be punished with imprisonment. Don't underestimate the seriousness of the situation, and don't reassure him by making him believe it's okay to steal until you get caught. Your words must be clear and convincing as you illustrate the more serious consequences of this action that are likely to change his life.
- Use legal terms to explain the possibility of going to prison following a theft (which occurs when you steal something that belongs to others, such as a bag or a bicycle) or a crime (which occurs when you steal with intent depriving someone of their money, such as stealing a wallet or writing a fake check).
- The value of the stolen goods determines the seriousness of the crime. Regardless of the extent of the theft, your child may be forced to pay a rather large fine or spend months or years in jail if caught stealing.
Step 2. Show him the consequences of the theft
Another method is to show, rather than tell, your child what might happen if he is arrested. If he has stolen money or property from you, some parents recommend calling the police and arranging a sham arrest. The police officer can handcuff him and make him sit in the back seat of the steering wheel to explain to him what responsibilities he will have to assume after such a crime and how this can affect his future.
This may seem like a rather extreme tactic and, therefore, should only be performed if the teen has stolen something from the parent, who is the only one who decides whether to file a complaint against the child. However, this method could scare him so much that he decides not to steal anymore
Step 3. Establish a punishment that requires positive action from your child
Instead of punishing him physically or embarrassingly, which could increase the anger and resentment he feels, think of a punishment that forces him to repay the stolen goods through positive actions. In this way, you will validate the idea that stealing is a gesture that damages relationships with others and you will give them the opportunity to learn the value of honesty.
- For example, suppose you caught your child stealing money from your purse. You could punish him by having him return all the money he stole from you. This may take time, as it forces him to find a job or do some chore to earn money. However, the boy will understand the consequences of his actions, become more responsible while doing some work, and understand why it is wrong to steal.
- Another solution is to get him to pay back the money by doing housework or cooking dinner for the whole family for a month. In this way, to make up for his mistake he will do something good for others.
Part 2 of 2: Prevent Him From Stealing Again
Step 1. Ask your child why he feels the need to steal
Other problems and difficulties are likely to drive him to steal. By identifying the root cause of his action, you will be able to stop him from stealing again. Teens tend to steal for a variety of reasons, including:
- Social pressures exerted by peers can lead children to steal. They probably want the latest smartphone model or the most fashionable one, or a new pair of sneakers and believe that the only way to get it is to steal it from others or steal money from parents to buy it. A very important part of a teenager's life is getting accepted by his peers. Therefore, your child may feel compelled to procure certain items in order to integrate into the group of his schoolmates.
- The need for attention is also another possible reason for a guy to steal. Any attention from others, especially from figures who hold a certain authority, may seem to him better than nothing. Your child may steal because he knows he gets your attention this way.
- The embarrassment of asking or the anxiety of obtaining certain items, such as condoms, tampons, emergency contraception, or pregnancy tests, could lead your child to steal. He is likely too embarrassed to ask you for money for these things, so he believes his only asset is to steal them.
- The thrill of breaking the rules could be another reason. Often, kids get excited about doing something wrong by engaging in risky behaviors. Most teenagers are drawn to what is forbidden or considered wrong. Therefore, stealing can be a way to get around these limits and try to see to what extent they can get away with it.
Step 2. Make sure he has other financial income
If the teen steals because he feels he can't afford what his peers have, get him to get a part-time job after school or do some chores to make some money. By doing so, he will learn to take responsibility and manage money. Also, give him permission to buy what he wants so he doesn't steal.
You could suggest that he create a budget and learn how to manage his finances so that he gets used to managing his money wisely
Step 3. Get him to engage in extracurricular activities
Encourage your child to focus their energies on improving their skills and social skills in a profitable way, perhaps by joining a sports team or association. These solutions can help him become familiar with peers who have interests that go beyond material things or the latest fashion trends.
Step 4. Spend more time with your child
Stealing can be a scream from a teenager who demands attention. Don't ignore it. Rather, try to spend qualitatively important moments with him on a regular basis. Show him that you care about him and that you are interested in everything he is passionate about by proposing that he do what he likes best together or go to the concert of the band he likes.
During these times you should talk to your child about contraception and condoms if you have found that he has been driven to steal by the embarrassment or shame of asking for them. Let him ask you specific questions and get him what he needs so that he doesn't feel stuck getting it again. Talk to him about sex if it contributed to his unconscious gesture
Step 5. Talk to a counselor or family therapist if your child continues to steal
If you catch him stealing again, it's probably time to contact a family counselor or therapist. Some teens steal because they have rather complex problems that may require professional help (for example, individual therapy or with the presence of the family). Don't let theft become a habit, otherwise it could lead to more serious consequences and distorted moral conduct.
