Some fears can undermine your self-confidence or lead you to distort your perception of danger. Not all of them are well founded or useful. At the same time, by confusing an unmotivated fear with an intuition, you risk stubbornly convincing yourself that something negative is about to happen in your life. In this way you can become disoriented and not distinguish a fear from an intuition, leading to choices and decisions that limit your life rather than enrich it. A fulfilling life is characterized by balance and stability, but fears and intuitions will also help you balance it.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Identifying the Fears
Step 1. Consider the characteristics of a real fear
The fears can be real: for example, you can be frightened if you are confronted with an attack by a dog, see a car speeding towards you while you are driving, or if you parachute from an airplane. In these cases, acting cautiously or fleeing on the basis of the terror of what might happen indicates that there is a real and concrete fear, which can be defined as "self-preservation". In this case, it is healthy and normal.
Step 2. Distinguish real fears from unfounded ones
Fears can also be unreal and harmful. The acronym FEAR, which stands for "False Evidence, Appearing Real", indicates the emergence of a fear, such as when we imagine that something could happen if certain circumstances were to occur, no matter how much our worries are absurd or our possibilities minimal. In this case, we allow anxiety, worry and catastrophism to take over the rationality and evidence of the facts.
Since a comparison is being made between intuition and fear, this article does not deal with the feeling that arises from real fears. Rather, it focuses on the imaginary ones, on the assumption that something bad can happen for reasons that are hard to understand
Step 3. Consider everything that scares you
By putting your fears on paper, you can begin to see them for what they are and not as signals dictated by intuition. Just take the time to sit down and, equipped with a pen and paper, write down all the fears that currently threaten your life, such as:
- Fear of losing your job
- Fear of losing someone you love
- Fear of getting hurt or for the safety of your children;
- Fear of getting old or of the future.
- Write down all the fears that keep you in check. Some will be rational, such as losing your job, for example if your boss has told you that some employees will be fired in a week. Others will be irrational, like the fear that a bridge will collapse on you when you walk under it just because you read that a similar incident happened somewhere else.
Step 4. Be skeptical about the fears you have been suffering from for a long time.
Often some fears turn into phobias, such as acrophobia (fear of heights), entomophobia (fear of insects), xenophobia (fear of strangers) and so on. They arise from particular life experiences and are limited to very specific moments in the past capable of conditioning thoughts, not one's own intuitive capacity. Although such phobias are initially based on fears that are based on self-preservation, they can often exceed the sense of protection to the point of hindering personal growth, freedom and happiness.
Step 5. Eliminate the stress
Stress and anxiety can keep you from stopping and unplugging. If you don't have time for yourself, you struggle to understand who you are or discover your true "essence". It is in these moments that fears can predominate and take over as you try to protect yourself from collapse, exhaustion and distress. Take the time to reinvigorate yourself so you can get rid of your fears, listen to your intuition, and make amazing personal discoveries that would go unnoticed if you didn't have the chance to relax and rearrange your ideas.
Part 2 of 2: Distinguish a Fear from an Intuition
Step 1. Think about what you mean by intuition
It is not easy to define. However, you can understand it as a kind of inner guide, a "knowledge" or an inner compass. Unlike fear, it has positive connotations, because it helps you to identify your path in life and to follow it on the basis of experiences that do not emerge on a conscious level.
Terms such as "sixth sense", "instinct", "suspicion" and "sensation" are often used to describe how our intuitions influence personal actions and decisions. However, it's very important to realize that it's not just impulse reactions - it's a combination of instinct and cognitive thinking. There is no right or wrong way to define them. The best approach is to sit down and write what they mean to you
Step 2. Know what happens when you confuse fear with intuition
Fear is a negative emotion that manifests itself through physical reactions (such as fight or flight, excessive sweating, adrenaline rush, and so on). Intuition is a positive sum of feelings or guidance that, if listened to, can improve situations. Fear is an emotion that leads us to escape, hide and not face the negative consequences that could occur, while intuition tempts us to pay attention to any dangers, providing us with the strength, resistance and means necessary so that with actions and attitude we are able to face and manage adversity.
- Therefore, when you confuse a fear with an intuition, you are actually telling yourself that something bad is about to happen, but that you are unable to act constructively and that you can only worry, fidget or pray, thereby inhibiting the your sixth sense and the ability to overcome the terror that follows. In this way you try to repress your intuitive ability or stop its effectiveness.
- Another problem that arises from the confusion between fear and intuition is that of preparing to live in the worst possible future (where irrational fear resides) rather than living in the present (as your intuitive ability would allow you). If you don't focus on the present, then you're not making the most of your intuition.
Step 3. Listen to your hunches
Usually, hunches about what might happen in the future are neutral if they are based on intuition. You cannot force them, and whether they are followed by good or bad consequences, they are not conditioned by your way of thinking. Not everyone has this ability and, in fact, those who repress it by adopting a cynical attitude, generally have little chance of developing it. However, forebodings differ from fear in that they are not based on personal tastes or fears, whether they are conscious or unconscious.
Step 4. Recognize the difference between irrational fears and legitimate intuitions
In this article you have already encountered some indications in this regard. For example, are you worried about the present or worried about the future? Do you tend to catastrophize or philosophize? Below, you will find some key elements for identifying the differences between an intuition and an irrational fear:
- A reliable intuition conveys information with less emotional involvement.
- A reliable intuition is perceived as a "good presentiment".
- A reliable intuition pushes you to be understanding and to defend yourself and others.
- A reliable intuition gives you a sharp and clear impression before you even know it.
- A reliable intuition makes you feel a little detached, like when you are in the cinema watching a movie.
- An irrational fear conveys information by triggering a strong emotional involvement.
- An irrational fear is not perceived as a "good feeling".
- An irrational fear is like a negative feeling, a mortification or a delusion towards oneself or towards others, sometimes both.
- An irrational fear does not convey feelings that are stable or perceptible from a "right perspective".
- An irrational fear brings back psychological wounds of the past or unresolved traumas.
Step 5. Take appropriate measures
You need to pay attention to fears based on self-preservation and turn irrational ones into expressions of courage. Sometimes they can make you foresee real danger, but usually the useless ones give you wrong information. Therefore, as a general rule, practice questioning fears related to low self-esteem. We all deserve better.
For example, you have every right to question the fear that makes you believe you are emotionally fragile to love. Even people who have been severely disappointed are able to open their heart again, but they must choose to do so and decide not to continue being overly protective of themselves. True intuition can never mortify you or induce you to adopt destructive attitudes and behaviors. Of all the indications, this is the most symptomatic
Advice
- If you are an empathetic person, very sensitive, deep or even emotionally dependent, you will probably find it hard to recognize which fears are founded, which feelings are based on useful insights and which are irrational. Since your character leads you to empathize with others, you may be introjecting their fears and thinking or assuming they belong to you.
- Help others understand the difference between fears based on self-preservation, irrational fears, and intuitions. Those who are strongly anchored in irrational fears will take a lot of time and effort to get back on top, but you could offer them the help they need, especially if you too have faced this problem and know what the pitfalls lie.
- Don't rely too much on information or emotions when they strike a sensitive chord or something about you. For example, for a mother the well-being of the children is a delicate and fundamental aspect, while for an entrepreneur the honesty of the staff can be. In these cases, rely on your skepticism to evaluate the information that triggers your apprehensions and try to appeal to your critical spirit in order to filter fears, emotions and intuitions and not allow irrationality to take over. Tackle the problem with a gradual and scientific approach instead of reacting impulsively.
