It is not always easy to face the trials that life puts before you. You may face losses, end relationships, suffer physically and emotionally … However, if you transform your approach to accept changes, develop a positive attitude and value relationships with others, you will be able to not only cope the obstacles of life, but also to overcome them.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Accepting the Changes
Step 1. Accept the inevitability of changes
Changes are a constant element in life. Seasons, weather, trends, technology - and whatever else you can think of - are constantly changing. Realize that nothing lasts forever. If you go through difficult times, know that they won't last. On the other hand, if your life is extraordinary, be grateful for it, but don't forget that more difficult days will come sooner or later.
To stop seeing change as something "negative," you need to recognize that, like everyone else, you are constantly evolving. Whenever you meet a person, whether you saw them the day before or a few weeks ago, they are never the same as ever. Time has passed and it has brought with it new experiences and new ideas. Neither human being nor life remain the same over time
Step 2. Set realistic expectations
If they are too tall and not very true to reality, you will always be disappointed with the results. If they are too rigid, you risk leaving no room for growth and change. If, on the other hand, you set more reasonable expectations, you will fuel your self-esteem and be more prepared to handle whatever comes your way.
- For example, an unrealistic expectation might be: "I have to pass all college exams with 30". Instead, a more realistic one might be: "I have to work hard to get good grades in college."
- You can improve the way you manage your expectations by systematically re-evaluating them to see if they are achievable and considering a number of options, rather than focusing on just one result.
- If another person has too high expectations of you, talk to them and explain that they are putting a lot of pressure on you. You might say, "When you demand this of me, I end up in _."
Step 3. Learn from your experiences
Experiential learning is based on actions or even on investigation and discovery. If a teacher just rattles off a series of notions in front of the class, it is likely that students will forget them, while if he teaches his subject with participation, they may remember what he explains and even enrich their knowledge if they get involved in the point. such as to deal directly with the arguments. In the pedagogical field, it is possible to resort to experiential learning following a procedure of six steps. The same principle can also be applied in other contexts.
- Experiment / explore: you just have to "live" and accumulate a series of experiences.
- Share / Reflect: Discuss how you react and observe certain life experiences with friends, a psychologist or in a journal. Think about what happened and what you found out.
- Elaborate / analyze: determines the most important aspects that have characterized a certain life experience. What problems have arisen? How did you solve them? Have any recurring patterns emerged?
- Generalize: connect a certain experience to others to find possible points in common. Be aware of some real-life principles that may have emerged.
- Implement: Decide how to apply what you have learned from an experience in a similar or different situation.
Step 4. Give yourself the chance to live in the present
Try not to focus too much on the future and don't dwell on the past: you risk losing everything that happens in the present.
- In order to live in the present, practice mindful meditation. You can resort to this technique at any time and in any place. It allows you to focus on the here and now.
- If you are a beginner, you can practice [Practicing-Mindful-Meditation | Mindful-Meditation] sitting comfortably in a chair. Place your hands on your legs. Focus your gaze on the floor about 2 meters away from you or on the opposite wall.
- Breath deeply. Just sit back and focus on your surroundings. Notice any noises, smells, or sensations of your skin. Continue to breathe and direct your attention to the air flowing in and out of your body as you slowly inhale and exhale.
- If you find yourself getting lost in your thoughts, take note and bring your attention back to the breath. Do this exercise for 20-30 minutes a day. With practice, you will be able to do mindful meditation wherever you are and you will learn to live in the present.
Part 2 of 4: Gaining a Positive Vision
Step 1. Recognize the power of optimism and make it a rule of life
Attitudes, not attitudes, are said to determine what kind of person we are. In other words, how high or far you go in life mostly depends on how you choose to look at reality, situations and people. By adopting a positive attitude, you can actually improve your physical and mental health, but also your life expectancy.
Step 2. Identify negative thoughts
If you change your way of thinking, you have a chance to be more optimistic. To think more positively, you need to become aware of when your inner dialogue is negative.
- Take a sheet of paper and fold it in half. On the left side, write down any negative and discouraging considerations that come to your mind, such as "My life is horrible" or "I'll never find anyone to love".
- "Listen" to your thoughts over the course of several days. Be on the lookout for the most disheartening or particularly negative ones and add them to your list.
Step 3. Question unnecessary thoughts
Negative beliefs can take away all hope. However, if you look at them under a magnifying glass, you will realize that they are not that rational. For each self-destructive consideration, ask yourself aloud to question it:
- Is there a rationale behind the belief that you will be alone? Since it is not possible to predict the future, you cannot rationally say that you will never find love.
- What evidence is there against such a belief? Have you ever loved someone in the past?
- Is there any evidence for this belief? Again, remember that you cannot predict the future.
- What would be the worst scenarios that could actually emerge if this unfortunate situation were to occur? You would be alone.
- What would be the best scenarios that could emerge if this unfortunate situation were to occur? You will likely learn to love yourself better and live out your passions.
Step 4. Create encouraging sentences
These are positive affirmations to be repeated continuously so that, by remaining etched in the unconscious, they give you the strength to reach a certain goal. Take the sheet of paper you folded and, on the right side, write a sentence that transforms your negative and discouraging beliefs into positive considerations that destabilize the previous balance. Repeat them regularly.
- For example, change "My life is horrible" to "My life looks bad right now, but hard times are making me stronger."
- Transform "I'll never find anyone to love" into "Now I feel lonely, but it won't always be like this."
Step 5. Show your gratitude
A grateful attitude can allow you to develop a more positive outlook. Instead of dwelling on your problems, focus on the best things in your life. Grateful people enjoy better physical and psychological health, are more understanding of others and less aggressive, sleep better, have strong self-esteem, and have more opportunities to make new friends. Start showing your gratitude in the following ways:
- Writing: Begin a gratitude journal.
- By telling others how much you appreciate them.
- Meditating and developing a grateful soul.
Step 6. Change your point of view
Sometimes, we get totally overwhelmed by life's problems. In these moments, we do not have that mental clarity that allows us to objectively observe the situation and, therefore, find a concrete solution. Instead, we get lost in the drama of events. In these cases, take a step back and try to observe your life from the outside.
Imagine that everything that is happening to you is happening to a colleague or close friend. How would you advise him to handle the situation? Do you have any negative thoughts or unrealistic expectations?
Part 3 of 4: Emphasizing Relationships
Step 1. Surround yourself with positive people
They will infect you with their positivity. Plus, no matter what you're going through in your life, a strong support group can help you stay grounded and have hope. When you hang out with people who have a healthy worldview, you are more likely to be happy and win your battles.
- Find people who can positively influence you - that is, grateful people who seek joy in everyday life.
- End relationships or distance yourself from people who exert a negative influence. They are individuals who constantly mull over their problems. They laugh and smile little and their mood can be contagious.
Step 2. Develop your spirituality
If you believe that there is a meaning in your life, a higher purpose, you can strengthen yourself against the most difficult moments by getting in touch with your spiritual side.
- Often those with a rather marked spirituality or religiosity make healthier lifestyle choices in the field of nutrition, avoid dangerous behaviors, such as driving without a seat belt, and refrain from smoking, drinking or using drugs. On top of that, spirituality also provides him with social support that encourages him and helps relieve stress.
- The term spirituality does not refer to a set of religious precepts or a well-defined philosophical framework, but it can mean anything you wish. You can develop your own spirituality in several ways: by forgiving others, by doing an introspective analysis, by using art and nature to connect with a higher power, and by adopting an attitude of self-compassion.
Step 3. Give your contribution by helping people
When interpersonal relationships are based on altruism, they can produce positive effects for both parties. By helping others, you can live a more fulfilling life, make sense of it, feel more efficient, reduce stress and lift your mood.
Don't know how you can help out? Here are some ideas: babysit neighbors' children so they go out more often; teach your younger cousin to play a musical instrument; volunteer at the canteen for the homeless; donate toys to children most in need during the holiday season
Step 4. Get help when you need it
It will be less tiring to face life's challenges if you know when and how to ask for help in times of need. By seeking help from others, you can strengthen your bonds and also allow friends and family to feel more useful. We often mistakenly assume that we appear weaker when we ask for help or underestimate the desire of others to help.
- Think about what you could help yourself with.
- Review the offers of help you've received in the past.
- Match your needs with the skills or interests of those who offer you help. For example, if a friend loves cooking and can help you organize a party, they may be excited to help.
- Finally, be direct. People often underestimate requests for help if they are not clearly worded. For example, you are much more likely to get a hand if you say something like this, "Could you help me play with the kids on Saturday morning?" Rather than "Could you help me play with the kids sometimes?"
Part 4 of 4: Take Care of Yourself
Step 1. Train regularly
If physical activity becomes a habit, you can greatly improve your lifestyle. By exercising regularly you will have more energy, you will develop a more positive outlook, you will keep your weight under control, you will cope with illnesses and increase your life expectancy.
Find a sport - or more than one - that you enjoy and get moving. For example, you could run around the house, take a fitness class, go rowing or hiking
Step 2. Eat right
A balanced diet consisting of whole foods can help you feel fit and keep your body functioning optimally. Choose your dishes from each food group: vegetables, fruits, proteins, dairy products and whole grains.
Be careful to consume certain foods in moderation, such as fast-food foods or sweets
Step 3. Get enough sleep
Get 7-9 hours of sleep every night to preserve your health and well-being. When you don't rest well or regularly, you can become physically weak, suffer from illness and disease, and make unhealthy decisions, such as eating junk foods late at night. Sleep must be a top priority in order to improve physical, mental and psychological health.
Step 4. Take care of yourself more often
The activities that allow you to take care of yourself are those that nourish the soul and spirit. They also lift your mood, help reduce stress and give you the strength you need to overcome the most difficult situations.
Think about everything you like to do and it gives you a boost. Maybe you love the whirlpool in a nice luxury spa or do a manicure, or you just like going to the park and walking in the fresh air. Whatever the activity that refreshes your spirit, take the time to practice it
Warnings
- If life seems unbearable to you or if you are desperate and fear you will not make it alone, seek help. Call a friend or loved one to find the support and encouragement you need.
- If you feel depressed, see a mental health professional as soon as possible.
