Often, in the course of life, we find ourselves having to deal with a change, such as the end of a relationship, moving to another city, the departure of a close friend, the death of a loved one, or the loss of a relationship. work. Even positive changes, such as the birth of a child, the adoption of a puppy or the start of a new job, can be a source of stress. Changes come with difficulties, but there are some ways to overcome them and make them less traumatic.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Coping with the Change
Step 1. Accept your emotions
If you are opposed to change or unwilling to accept an impending change, then it is important to acknowledge your emotions. Don't repress them, listen to them. They are an integral part of self-awareness. When you identify an emotion, you accept it as if you say "it's not that bad" and allow yourself to understand and manage it.
- Often, the change is accompanied by feelings of anxiety, such as worry and fear. It is normal to be worried and afraid.
- Process the change and take care of your emotions. Even if the big change in your life is a positive event, like getting married or moving to a city you've always wanted to live in, recognize that it will cause some personal losses and try to work them out.
- Try to identify your state of mind and the reasons that generate it, putting everything in writing or repeating it aloud. For example, you could write or say something like, "I am anxious and overwhelmed with emotions because I have to move to a new city next week."
Step 2. Get ready
Regardless of the change you face, you can adopt some strategies to psychologically prepare for the new situation. Try to imagine what it looks like, then identify some ways to learn more about what you will face.
- For example, if you have decided to move to another city or country, gather all the news about the new place before going there. If you are about to start a new job, find out as much as possible about the tasks you will be doing.
- Try to come up with an action plan on how to deal with the new situation. For example, if you are about to move to a new city, you might ask yourself, “Which restaurants do you want to try? How will you get around the city? What other places would you like to explore?”.
- You may even make plans to change the situation if it doesn't meet your expectations. For example, you may not like your new job, so you might try to find one you really like by peeking through job postings, applying for jobs that appeal to you the most, and attending job fairs.
Step 3. Create a mental script
If you are faced with a change that is beyond your control, it may be difficult to accept reality. Nevertheless, you could commit to channeling your energies in an attempt to live with the new situation, reassuring yourself through a mental approach based on acceptance.
For example, when you feel upset or anxious about an impending change, you might say to yourself: “I don't like the change that is taking place, but it is out of my control. I may not like it, but I will accept it and try to make the best of it”
Step 4. Remember that you are in full control of your mental attitude and actions
Change could turn your life upside down, but you have the power to manage your reactions. You can choose to approach an event with anger and take your emotions out on others or choose to see the situation as a new opportunity and approach it with enthusiasm.
Some people believe that making a list is an effective way to reduce anxiety and feel happier. If you are feeling depressed about the situation, try to write down a list of the positives. For example, if you have just ended a relationship, you may find the positive side in things like more free time at your disposal, the opportunity to get to know yourself better and more time to devote to your friends and family
Part 2 of 4: Reducing the Anxiety Caused by Change
Step 1. Write a journal noting your concerns
A change can bring a lot of insecurities, worries and negative thoughts. Especially if you feel overwhelmed, start writing down all the aspects that contribute to your sense of overwhelm. This system can help you understand that reality is less negative than you might imagine.
If you feel confused about the arrival of a new puppy in your life and you can't get used to all the changes, write down what has changed in your life and what difficulties it entails. Write down possible solutions to your problem, such as a schedule to help you manage changes
Step 2. Talk to other people who have gone through similar experiences
It may be comforting to talk to someone who is going through a similar change to yours. You are probably starting university, are about to have a child or are about to change jobs. Talking to someone who has "been through it" may help you, realizing that they managed to get through it without any problems.
- Ask for advice on how you could act to cope with change with confidence.
- If you are facing a divorce, meet other people who are going through the same experience or have already lived it in the past.
Step 3. Accept the uncertainty
If you worry about all the changes that take place, you preclude yourself from savoring the present and living it fully. Worrying all the time doesn't help you predict the future or manage it better.
Understand that you are going through a transition phase and that change is inevitable. You could say, "I accept that change will occur and it is up to me to decide how to manage it."
Step 4. Relax
Relaxation can help reduce stress and increase emotional well-being. Some techniques, such as deep meditation and progressive muscle relaxation, can help you relax and overcome stress more effectively.
Practice progressive muscle relaxation: Get into a comfortable position, then begin to relax your body and breathe slowly. Squeeze your hand tightly like a fist for a few seconds and then release it. Contract the right forearm and then relax the muscles. Switch to the right shoulder and then do the same thing with the left arm. Work with the other muscle groups, including the neck, shoulder, face, chest, hips, quadriceps, calves, ankles, feet, and toes
Step 5. Practice physical activity
Exercise helps manage stress and reduce anxiety. Do your body, mind and spirit a favor by dedicating yourself to physical activity for thirty minutes a day on several days of the week.
Take the dog for a walk, go shopping on a bike, or take an evening walk after work. You can also exercise by dancing, running, or going to the gym
Part 3 of 4: Give yourself time to get used to it
Step 1. Remember that new life patterns take time to metabolize
Change is a shock, because it destabilizes the life you have lived up to now. When a change occurs, all old habits are called into question, so to deal with the new situation you need to go slowly and do things calmly. Remember that any change requires a period of adjustment and try to be realistic about the more radical changes.
Give yourself time to recover. For example, if you have suffered the loss of a person or pet, know that how and when to process the bereavement is entirely up to you. Nobody can rush you, no matter how hard they insist
Step 2. Try to see in change an opportunity to review your life, in order to understand if you have made positive choices or if you have invested all your resources (time, money, commitment) to lead a lifestyle that it doesn't make you happy
Although sometimes painful, the change could have a positive side.
Learn to enjoy the change process by adding some positive reinforcement to it. For example, you could pamper yourself with an ice cream at the end of the physiotherapy session or spend a small amount of money every time you manage to save 100 euros
Step 3. Leave the complaints and scoldings behind
It is understandable that a change causes you to complain all the time, but only for a short period of time. Your friends and family at first will come running to help you. It is important to be optimistic during the change phase to relieve stress and overcome difficulties.
Try to see things in a positive light. If you're having a hard time finding the bright side, ask someone to help you. Remember that changes often offer you the opportunity to achieve goals that otherwise would not be achievable
Step 4. Leave behind what has been and move on
Focusing on the past doesn't help you move on with your life. It is useless to try to want to take back your 'old life' or to spend all your time wishing things were back to being as before.
- Instead of focusing on the past, project into the future by finding the enthusiasm to carry out other projects. Try something new, like taking a painting class, going skating, or visiting a city you've never seen.
- If you find yourself regretting your past, precluding yourself from living in the present, then you should seek a therapist who can help you move forward in your life.
Part 4 of 4: Recognizing the Adjustment Disorder
Step 1. Reflect on your situation
The adjustment disorder develops over the three months following a stressful change, which could be linked to positive or negative events, such as moving house, marriage, loss of your job or bereavement.
Step 2. Assess your symptoms
Individuals suffering from adaptation disorder manifest some emotional and behavioral symptoms that can help the psychologist make a diagnosis. Symptoms include:
- Strong stress. A person with adaptation disorder manifests severe discomfort that goes beyond what is foreseeable based on exposure to the stressor. For example, a person who has just bought a new house may feel considerably stressed even after completing the purchase of the property and moving.
- Difficulty of adaptation. Individuals with adjustment disorders may experience significant impairment in social, work or school functioning. For example, a person who has just faced the end of a love relationship may not be able to relate to their friends.
Step 3. Evaluate the duration of the symptoms
Symptoms of the adaptation disorder last no longer than six months. If they persist beyond six months, they could indicate the presence of other mental disorders.
Step 4. Talk to a therapist
If you think you suffer from adaptation disorder, you should consult a psychotherapist to get an accurate diagnosis and get help. Even if you are not sure that your symptoms depend on this disorder, the intervention of a specialist can help you trace the cause of your problem.
