This meditation, often called "Karuṇā" in Buddhist associations, aims to open the heart and mind to be more compassionate towards ourselves and others. Compassion is also one of the four "divine abodes," which are the four main emotions that deserve to be cultivated: loving kindness or kindness, shared joy, equanimity, and indeed compassion. Unlike the meditation of goodness, which can be aimed at anything, that of compassion is slightly different, since it is more specific and needs an object on which to direct one's concentration, rather than a general feeling; in the latter case, compassion would have a superficial character.
Compassion is a more difficult skill to develop than goodness, since some emotions resemble compassion but do us more harm than good. Its benefits are very useful in different areas of daily life, including the ability to connect with others and with oneself, but, above all, it teaches us to evaluate whether our usual ideas and actions are as wise as they seem to us. When we are able to understand that our actions have consequences that affect ourselves and others, compassion leads us to be wiser.
Steps
Step 1. Before you begin, lay the foundation for best results
Unlike other meditations, such as that of loving kindness or that of shared joy, one does not begin with oneself, nor do one address it to those close and dearest in ordinary circumstances. It is not even about those for whom we have neutral feelings or that we do not like, since this meditation does not really change the way you see them. For this change you have to use goodness first, and then turn your mind to these groups of people.
- It would be ideal for you to practice the loving-kindness meditation before the compassion meditation, because it can help prepare your mind for this meditation, as good rich soil generates beautiful flowers and better crops.
- Since compassion can take some time to develop, think about this analogy. It's like trying to light a fire while a storm is raging outside: you have to protect the flame you use to ignite it from being extinguished and, when it has grown enough to burn leaves and twigs, you have to keep protecting it until the fire is able. to feed alone. In this analogy, the flame corresponds to compassion, which in beginners is very weak until it becomes strong enough to naturally feed on its own. Light can easily go out and be lost if there is not enough fuel to grow it with.
- The most important thing about this meditation is sincerity. The problem is that if the practitioner is not sincere, his compassion becomes weaker and more difficult to express, moreover it turns very easily into false compassion. It is recommended for practitioners at first to focus only on those about whom they can be sincere, and then, as the experience grows, to expand more and more their compassion, until it becomes limitless. The level of true compassion you have for yourself is in proportion to how much you can direct to another person.
- True compassion is most often spontaneous, but, even more frequently, independent, since it can exist without any context or without any supporting emotions or ideas, except compassion itself and empathy. Basically, "compassion" means being willing enough to do the difficult tasks that we would normally prefer to avoid, and the most difficult compassion is accepting the facts of life and our limitations, and letting go.
Step 2. Choose a comfortable position in a peaceful and quiet place to meditate
Compassion meditation can be practiced in any position: lying, sitting, standing and walking, even if the sitting position is the basic one. Your best bet is to hire the one that works best for you, whether it's sitting on a chair or a cushion.
Take some time to gain awareness of your body and mind, relaxing any muscle or mental tension that may arise. This is not limited to developing attentive awareness and concentration: compassion works both ways. Being kind to yourself is just as important as being kind to another person, because if you limit one, you limit the other as well
Step 3. Turn your mind to those you have seen or heard of who have suffered a misfortune
Who it is is not the focus of meditation at this stage. There is no real hierarchy, but those you feel the most empathy for will likely be the first to come to mind. This can be any situation: someone who has had a difficult day at work or school, has had an accident and been injured, recently lost a loved one, or got sick himself; no matter what case it may be, everyone can be the object of true compassion.
At this stage, focus only on those you can be honest about. It may be difficult to be honest with strangers, and even more so with those you don't like or who have done something bad to you
Step 4. Wish them free from pain and stress, and heal for a happier, healthier and more successful present and future
- If you wish, you can use words like "May his health improve soon" or "May he find success and happiness in school" if that helps you develop compassion. The main goal is to practice entirely without words, simply directing compassion towards the subject (s).
- If you feel resentment or pain, or if compassion does not arise, let go of these feelings and judgments. You have not failed meditation at all, experiencing these feelings: you can use them as a basis to develop compassion and forgiveness towards yourself, as well as to understand how the mind works.
Step 5. Practice the gentle, careful awareness of right compassion
This way your mind will not wander or start to feel attachment or involvement in any matter. Continue to direct compassion to whatever case you are aware of.
- During the entire meditation session you can focus on one or more cases, depending on your level of experience. However, the goal is to give them time to let their hearts and minds become quiet, forgive, and develop equanimity towards the object of compassion.
- After increasing your stability, expand your compassion. By paying attention, you may begin to direct compassion towards someone who has done something wrong to you.
Step 6. Systematically let go of any barriers that may arise in your mind
For example, whatever pain, frustration, longing, resentment, hostility, and coldness you may feel. These emotions can be directed towards yourself, those who are close to you, your acquaintances or, finally, towards the people towards whom you are hostile or who you know they feel hostility towards you. Breaking down barriers while developing peace, forgiveness and understanding is just one of the many benefits of compassion meditation.
To continue developing this meditation, measure yourself with your own experiences. Consider the necessity of virtue to be able to be sincere, the wisdom of being compassionate without being trapped, and the strength of character and the ability to act when necessary even in difficult cases, accepting the reality of what is presented to us and to others and what we have no remedy for
Step 7. Examine ways true compassion can become false or harmful
This meditation has numerous pitfalls, because there is a level where it resembles compassion, but it does not give any benefit, and it could even be harmful. On the other hand, this level provides you with an immediate opportunity to examine and analyze it in order to understand it. The most frequent traps are:
- What is often called "bleeding heart". It can lead practitioners to pain and despair, caused by a range of complications such as the limitations of our powers, the fact that there is never enough love or virtue in the world, etc.
- The idea of feeling obligated or obliged to do something to help all people, because there is really so much unhappiness in the world. Happiness and unhappiness are all common denominators. This is the cruelest type, because it is solely based on the longing and desire to change the world. It may sound noble, but the practitioner must ask himself how this leads to freedom or wisdom.
- Compassion where we linger in pity. Often this type of practitioner imagines that he is a saint or a savior who sacrifices himself for others. Similar, because still linked to a feeling of self-indulgence, is the idea that we should convert others to our way of thinking for their own good. This trap can be very subtle and often the most dangerous type.
- Often the practitioner considers the person having problems as an inferior individual or not as wise and good as the practitioner himself, or even believes that the person deserves what has happened to him. Often this is a clear sign of hypocrisy starting to take hold.
- Desiring compassion for someone to earn credit for ourselves.
- The fact that compassion is corrupted by the distant enemy, which is anger or hostility.
Step 8. Consider ways you can be more compassionate in your daily life
Try to compare the benefits of true compassion with the differences it produces in your life. By practicing compassion we reshape our mental habits and our brains to be more tolerant and forgiving, but we are also able to see ways in which it can do more harm than good, and as a result we become wiser and more prudent in our actions. The lesson the lotus teaches us is that it grows in mud and dirty water, but it transcends both to rise freely. For all who see it, it is simply wonderful.
