Introducing your child to your new mate is a decision that shouldn't be made lightly; however, if you think you have reached a point in your relationship where doing so seems like the right decision, it can turn into an exciting experience because it involves sharing the most important person in your life with someone you care about deeply. The following steps will give you some pointers on how to make your task easier, for you, for the baby and for your partner.
Steps
Step 1. The first step is one that should always be taken in any new relationship in which a child is involved
Make sure you and your partner are in a stable relationship, are happy, and have plans for the future before you introduce them to your child. Discarding and meeting new partners often and introducing each of them to your child can be emotionally damaging and confusing in your child. Children are able to establish relationships with others quickly, and if the relationship is not stable and your partner leaves you, your child will feel abandoned too. Make sure your relationship is stable before making any decisions.
Step 2. Keep your child's age in mind before making introductions
There is no harm in introducing your partner to a very young child (who is under a year old), because if you do break up, your child will likely not have been able to bond anyway. with your partner or to form memories like an older child would. However, you should try to limit the amount of time your new partner spends with the baby if you're not sure how the relationship is going.
Step 3. Before introducing your baby to your new man, try talking to him about him or letting him hear you talking to him on the phone
Making your partner's name while talking to your child (this also depends on his age) will make it clear to the child that you have a new friend with whom you spend a lot of your time; Also, if your child has already started talking, it may be a good idea to let them talk to each other on the phone so that the child has time to start getting used to this person, or at least their voice.
Step 4. To make meeting easier for your child, have them meet in a neutral place where your child feels comfortable and happy
For example, if your child throws a tantrum during lunch, before bed, or when you take them shopping with you, this would not be a good time to introduce yourself. This is because, always keeping in mind the age of the child, he will associate the meeting with this man with an experience that he considers unpleasant and could act hostile in the future when you make him meet with your partner in other circumstances. The best thing would be to present them in a place such as gardens or a playground, where the child is used to meeting new people while having fun.
Step 5. When introducing the baby to your partner, it would be more appropriate to tell him that he is your friend at first
Most children don't understand relationships between men and women, especially in the early years, so there is no need to complicate things with unnecessary explanations. If the child is older and already understands the relationships between men and women, it is still advisable to say that he is a friend until the child gets used to him.
Step 6. To facilitate the experience for the child, try to make things as simple as possible, especially at the beginning
Limit physical contact between you and your partner in front of the baby and try to prevent your partner from sleeping in your home. Remember that as far as your child is concerned, it has always been only "you and him"; involving a third person in your relationship could make him feel insecure, especially if he thinks his mom isn't giving him as much time as she was before.
Step 7. Help your partner bond with your child by telling them what your child likes and dislikes beforehand
This way, he can impress the child by talking about a topic of interest to him.
Advice
- As for your partner, introductions could be just as stressful for them as they are for the child. He certainly hopes to be accepted by your son or daughter. That's why choosing an appropriate place where both of you feel comfortable is essential for it to work. Try telling your partner, to be on the safe side, that it may take a while for the child to accept it, but that he has nothing to worry about.
- Don't try to create the character of a "model child" in front of your partner to impress him. You should love your child as he is, and your new partner should do the same. "Children" are exactly that: children. Mood swings, irritability, and tantrums are part of a baby and your partner will need to figure this out.
- Try to create a pleasant atmosphere.
- If you are planning to have your child and partner meet in a public place, it would be wise to bring a toy or other type of toy to distract the child, in case things don't go as you hope.
- If the child wakes up and is not in a good mood or is not well, it is advisable to move the meeting to another occasion. A tired, irritated, or sick child will be less likely to meet again and feel more uncomfortable.
Warnings
- If your partner is aggressive or makes any sort of nasty comment about the baby, you will need to reflect on the relationship, for the sake of the baby. You need a man who has a good influence on your child, not a bad one.
- Don't forget to dedicate time exclusively to your child and your partner separately. The bond between you and your child should not be compromised by another person in your life. Time Only For Us is very important during this transition phase for your baby.
- Also, remember to pay attention to your child when your partner is around. A child would feel vulnerable if you ignored him just because you are with this man. This will create resentment towards the man and the child may throw tantrums when he is around in order to get your attention.
- If your baby starts throwing tantrums for no good reason, you need to be clear with him. Tell him that you do not intend to tolerate his way of doing when that person is there and explain to him that it is not acceptable behavior.
- Your child may not be able to bond with your partner right away. This is perfectly understandable. Hopefully you have known this man long enough before introducing him to your son and it may take a while for a bond to form between them. Don't be alarmed if things don't seem to work out the first few times. Persistence and patience are important virtues on this occasion.
