If you have been dating your boyfriend for a while, you may want to consider introducing him to your parents. While this is an exciting phase of the relationship, it can also be very nerve-wracking; therefore try to make it easier by talking to him first and opting for an informal and relaxed meeting, so he can get to know yours and strengthen your emotional bond.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Let Everyone Know What to Expect
Step 1. Ask your boyfriend if he would like to meet yours
Getting to know your partner's parents is an important step in any relationship. First, talk to him about it and ask him if he would like to meet your family. It is normal for him to feel a little anxious, but you must respect his choices if he feels uncomfortable or prefers to wait.
Introduce the topic by saying, "We've been dating for a while now and I'd like you to meet my parents", or "My parents asked about you. Do you agree if I arrange a meeting to introduce them to you?"
Step 2. Tell him how your parents might behave
If you've introduced other guys to your boyfriends in the past, you may have an idea of how they'll behave, so be sure to communicate the important details to your boyfriend, warning him, for example, that your father might be staring at him or that your mother might. ask him embarrassing questions.
Give examples like: "My mom might tell you embarrassing stories from when I was little. Don't pay attention to it, it's just her way" and: "My dad can seem a little threatening at times, but he doesn't do it out of meanness"
Advise:
be sure to explain to your boyfriend how to approach your parents. If they care about formalities, they will want to be called "Mr." or "Mrs." followed by the surname; if they are more approachable, they will accept to be called by name.
Step 3. Inform your teen about your parents' interests
The conversation will go much more smoothly if your boyfriend has a general idea of who your parents are; then tell them about their hobbies, their jobs and their social life to give them conversation points.
If you want, you can help him prepare specific questions in advance, for example, by advising him to ask: "Mrs. Rossi, I hear you like to knit. Are you working on a new project now?"
Step 4. Talk to your parents about your boyfriend's interests
Your parents will also know someone new, so prepare them by talking to them about your boyfriend. It is not necessary to go into the smallest details, but it is enough to tell them what he does in life and explain a little about his interests and the way to do it, so that they too know what to talk about with him.
If your boyfriend has interests in common or similar to those of your parents, be sure to mention them. For example, if your dad and boyfriend both like to fish, tell your dad so they can have a conversation together
Step 5. Tell your boyfriend what to wear
Ask him to dress up according to what you think is good for your parents: if they care about etiquette or are old-fashioned, he recommends a shirt and a pair of classic trousers; if they're more casual, you can tell them to show up in jeans and a t-shirt.
- Warn him not to overdo it: a full classic suit is excessive for a casual dinner.
- You can tell him, "I know you want to make a good impression on my parents, so I recommend that you wear a new shirt for dinner, because I think they will like it."
Step 6. Reassure your boyfriend that everything will be okay
Encourage him not to feel anxious, worried or scared by explaining that your parents are excited to meet him, that they have heard a lot of positive things about him, and that they are nice people he will get along with.
- Be understanding if he is very worried, because meeting new people always causes some anxiety, especially when it comes to people for whom you feel affection and respect.
- Calm him down by saying things like, "My parents just want to know who I'm dating" and, "I've told my parents a lot of good things about you and now they're looking forward to meeting you!"
Part 2 of 3: Choosing Where and When to Meet
Step 1. Introduce it to your parents when they are alone, not at a family event
It is normal to feel anxious when it comes to getting to know your partner's parents, so it is advisable to arrange the meeting at a time when there are no other people present, thus avoiding parties or family events. A confidential meeting will give your boyfriend and parents a better chance to talk and get to know each other.
This could help your boyfriend calm down if he feels anxious about having to get to know your parents
Step 2. Meet at home for more privacy
If you would like your parents to meet your boyfriend in a quiet place, ask them to meet you at home, suggesting that they take care of the sweets or drinks if they intend to prepare something to eat. Introducing your boyfriend to your parents by taking him home will make it much more private than in a public place.
Introduce the subject to your parents by saying, "I'd like to take him home so you can get to know each other. If you feel like making something to eat, I can go buy something to drink!"
Step 3. Make a restaurant appointment for a more relaxed atmosphere
Restaurants are a great place to meet because they are neutral territory - you can book and show up with your boyfriend so he doesn't have to wait alone with your parents.
Make your proposal by saying: "No one needs to bother to cook: let's go to one of your favorite restaurants instead. What do you think?"
Advise:
make sure you choose a restaurant that everyone likes to focus on the conversation and not the food.
Step 4. Do an activity together to have something to focus on
If you want to take the pressure off the conversation, organize an outdoor activity with your parents and boyfriend, such as bowling or mini golf. This way, the appointment will have a purpose and create a bond between all of you as you work towards a common goal.
Doing an activity together also sets time limits on the meeting, allowing you to leave when the activity is over
Part 3 of 3: Keeping the Conversation Alive
Step 1. Introduce everyone by name
Start off right by making sure your parents know your boyfriend's name and vice versa, and making sure everyone spells the names correctly so no one gets offended.
You can say: "Mom, Dad, this is Giulio, my boyfriend. Giulio, this is my parents, Michele and Teresa"
Step 2. Have short conversations by asking questions and comments
You are the person who knows everyone present best, so ask questions about everyday life and hobbies, trying to get everyone involved in the conversation.
- Start the dialogue by saying: "Dad, I heard you went fishing the other day. Where exactly did you go? Giulio and I would also like to go there."
- "Mom, have you tried to prepare some new dishes recently? I have just finished reading a recipe book that I found interesting and I would like to propose some".
- "Giulio likes working with computers. I bet he could give you some great advice on how to use yours."
Advise:
don't worry if you take an awkward silence break every now and then. Meeting new people can be an embarrassing experience in and of itself.
Step 3. Allow your parents to ask your boyfriend questions
It can be difficult to let your parents give your boyfriend the third degree, but the goal is to give everyone a chance to get to know each other, so let them ask him what he does and what his plans are in life. Only step in and change the subject if they start asking inappropriate questions that make them uncomfortable.
- Questions like: "What do you do in your spare time?" and "What are you studying?" they are entirely lawful; questions like, "How many girls have you had before?" they can make him uncomfortable and should be avoided.
- Intervene with phrases like: "Mom, I don't think Giulio has to answer. Why don't you tell us about your new hobby instead?"
Step 4. Keep the conversation light and positive
If you and your parents don't get along on certain things, like religion or politics, don't introduce those speeches, but rather focus on topics that are fun to discuss and that allow everyone to have their say, even with laughter.
- Discuss topics such as personal hobbies, fun anecdotes, or important milestones in life.
- Introduce the subject by saying, for example: "We had a lot of fun during our trip to Paris! If you want, we can show you some photos", or: "You have just returned from a trip to the beach, right? How did it go? ".
Step 5. Don't leave your boyfriend alone with your parents for too long
Since they just met, try not to leave your boyfriend alone as he may have no other topics to talk about or he may feel uncomfortable, so if you have to leave to serve drinks or to go to the kitchen, ask him to come over. give you a hand.
