It is wrong to think that cavalry no longer exists. However, women admit that it is becoming increasingly difficult to find that kind of man, who has always been called "a gentleman".
Men, let's face it: this article is aimed at you. If you haven't been able to get a second date recently - or never - maybe it's time to hone your techniques. There is no need to grope in the dark when it comes to how to properly behave with a woman. To become a modern gentleman it is enough to follow a few rules.
Steps
Step 1. Try to understand that gender equality does not mean neglecting good manners and good taste
The dating game is still based on mutual attraction and polite and traditional courtship. Behaving in an unkind manner will probably make someone giggle and could even attract a woman who has accepted the date just to have a good time, but it will preclude the possibility of a long-term relationship and will certainly not earn you points. Brazenly stating that women are the same, so they may very well foot the bill and put up with you as you are is a limited way to approach a date. The adaptation to a certain protocol when dating a girl will be rewarded with the complacency on her part, who will consider your first date as a positive and above all fun experience and will remember it for its good manners and for what it was. they usually call "good education". So it's time to dress properly, schedule a decent date and brush up on gentleman manners.
Step 2. Be on time
A gentleman never keeps his girlfriend waiting, but is on time and ready at the set time. Set the alarm if necessary, and plan well times to get to your destination in advance.
Don't be late for no good reason, and be sure to call her to explain what was holding you back. She might not wait long, especially if she has had previous experiences with types that are anything but gentlemen, who have kept her waiting
Step 3. Compliment the girl
Women like to be reassured about their appearance. An effective way to give a positive first impression is to compliment the girl's appearance. But be careful. Using stereotypical phrases and cheesy compliments would scare most women away. Be careful not to give the impression of ambiguous individuals. No girl likes to be treated like an object. Limit yourself to gentle and innocent compliments.
Never offend the girl. A guaranteed way to avoid getting a second date is to offend the girl. If you are aware that you are prone to criticism, try to hold back and avoid even the most harmless criticisms. Any criticism, however constructive it may seem to you, will seem like an insult, which will ruin your date. If you are aware that you are an ironic or witty person, be careful not to joke too much. The joke could also be misinterpreted. It is best to avoid any sentence that suggests an insult or an ironic joke, and if it contains political allusions or is a gossip, do not say it
Step 4. Open the door for your girlfriend
Men this is chivalry. When you come out of any door, keep it open for your girlfriend to come out and let her out first. This will make her feel special and respected. However, there is no need to do it with excessive gestures; do it with delicacy and kindness.
Don't slam the door in your girlfriend's face. All of this should be obvious. When you walk out a door it is bad manners to go out first, especially when it means shutting the door in your girlfriend's face. For women this gesture is synonymous with selfishness. Men, if you fear that this proves that you care too much, you are wrong. It is not a sign of weakness to open the door to your girlfriend, in reality it is just the opposite
Step 5. Have your girlfriend sit down before you sit down
It might seem strange, because it doesn't happen often these days, but pulling out the chair so that she can sit down first shows that you think about her before you think about yourself. And it is also a gentleman's gesture, which will earn you many points in the game of good manners.
- Do not pull the chair so that it falls to the ground. Keep your age in mind; this kind of childishness didn't work when you were a teenager and it won't work now. The girl will be embarrassed and stunned and if she doesn't leave at that precise moment, she certainly won't give you a second date.
- If you are sitting at the table with other diners, wait until they are all seated and ready to eat, before starting. The true gentleman does not get stuffed with food.
Step 6. Ask the girl questions
Be good conversationalists. Do not feel uncomfortable if he is silent; on the contrary, keep scrolling the conversation to other topics. The girl will feel important if you listen to what she says and will be impressed if you don't let the conversation run out.
- Don't play with food, don't talk while chewing, don't yawn etc. Being a modern gentleman means sitting composed and looking the girl in the eye when you speak. Don't spend too much time looking down at your plate - boiled potatoes can't argue.
- Don't flaunt your wealth or scorn rich people. Both attitudes demonstrate a total lack of tact and make the interlocutor feel terribly embarrassed, wondering what personal climb or revolution you have in mind. If you are wealthy and want to highlight it, wear neat but not sought-after clothes. On the other hand, it is not necessary to be rich to have good taste, so wear clean and well-ironed clothes, regardless of your financial means.
- Read a manual for more ideas on some conversation topics.
Step 7. Be prepared to pay for dinner for you and the girl
If she offers to pay, decline politely. Remind her that this is an appointment and you are happy to pay the bill. There is a lot of uncertainty about this aspect of a date, but a true gentleman is never confused; a gentleman continues to pay.
Don't use the trick of pretending you forgot your wallet and wait for the girl to pay. Even if you don't "forget" your wallet, don't expect the girl to pay for dinner. When the waitress comes up with the bill, don't hesitate to grab it. If you leave it on the table for a long time, the girl may get nervous, wondering if you will pay
Step 8. Offer your arm when you walk down the street
This is a gentlemanly gesture and is useful for the girl when she walks over rough terrain in high heels. While it would seem an intimate attitude, it is perfectly acceptable for a gentleman and means nothing more than to have respect. Always walk next to a woman when you go down the stairs, not behind her.
- It is also a good idea to help her put on her overcoat when she is about to go out.
- Always walk from the outside of the sidewalk when you are on the street; that way, if splashes come from the puddles, they hit you, not her.
Step 9. Tell the girl that you had a great time and invite her for a second date
Don't overstep the boundaries and be courteous and fair. Women don't like being forced to kiss goodnight and so on.
- Don't try to force any approach, especially if she seems unwilling. Treat it with respect. It is a huge mistake to assume the right to attempt a first date approach.
- Preserve his honor. Never reveal the details of a romantic relationship.
Advice
- Let the girl talk about herself, but don't get distracted! Women appreciate a good listener. Chances are good that she expects you to remember something she shared with you at a later time.
- Don't be afraid to show your interest - put your pride aside! Some men fear they are showing too much interest, because they don't want to appear weak. This only hurts you. Women like to know that you are interested in them. So while you must never start with an exuberant "I love you!" during the date, there is nothing wrong with showing interest.
- It is raining? Offer her an umbrella to shelter.
- Take the initiative. Being a gentleman means being a leader. Women are not attracted to shy men who force them to make all decisions.
- A gentleman knows how to deal with a crying lady.
- Avoid talking about your family members' illnesses. This is not in your favor and a gentleman does not talk about his personal problems on a first date.
- Simple statements are more intimate than questions - think about how you talk to your closest friends, for example - and therefore are an important contrasting element in questioning your girlfriend. But try to make statements that go beyond yourself.
- If he smokes, light his cigarette. This can be an elegant and romantic gesture of approval and acceptance of his habit. If you also smoke, offer her a cigarette. There is a whole series of romantic habits that smokers share, unlike non-smokers, easy to find in films of the 40s. Not only is it romantic, it establishes that you are on the same page when it comes to smoking.
- If you dine with other people, stand up whenever a lady enters. And never talk with food in your mouth!
- If you want a second date, be polite. Apologize if you make a mistake, if you bump into it, for example. Be nice and apologize.
Warnings
- Don't pick your nose, don't scratch your ears, don't fix your hair, and don't make other personal gestures in public, and especially in front of the girl.
- Don't interrupt. Women hate being interrupted. And this rule applies to everyone you are talking to in the presence of your girlfriend. Show the girl that you are a gentleman, letting others finish presenting their ideas, before intervening with yours.
- Don't get angry and don't lose your temper. Showing this side of your character will make the girl run away; who would see a future with someone who needs babysitting, to be calm and to whom one must always be reverent?
- Don't be peasants; gentlemen speak in a calm tone of voice and do not need to raise their voices to be heard.
- Do not swear and do not express yourself in a vulgar way. This only shows that you disrespect others and that you are unable to express your feelings, thoughts and opinions in true words.
- Don't stare for long; he is not polite and at worst he is downright indecent.
- Avoid smoking unless she invites you to. This is something that gentlemen of the past probably did differently, but today's etiquette requires the consideration of values that have changed regarding the right time and place to smoke in the face of another person.
