I mean, do you want to get married? Great! It's a nice step, one not to be taken lightly. It may sound scary but it is doable. Here's how to ask your parents (or just your father) for your girlfriend's hand.
Steps
Step 1. Evaluate
Is it a good time for you? Are there any reasons not to get married? Try to put yourself in your parents' shoes - would they like their little girl to marry you? If you've only known each other for a week, maybe you should wait.
Step 2. Choose where
Choose the time to go to her parents' house or to invite them to lunch. Do you want her to be there too or do you prefer to be alone?
Step 3. Learn the right words
This way you will be less nervous. Try it yourself, creating an introduction and arguing a couple of points. Better than not to sit down and then … keep quiet. Preparing a small speech will ensure you make a good impression.
Step 4. Introduce yourself well
Which parent would like to marry their daughter to a slob? Wash, fix your hair, put on clean clothes. Jeans and shirt will also work fine. And brush your teeth.
Step 5. Start the meeting politely
Chances are, if you call them to date them, the couple will smell the intention. They may have already understood what you are going to ask them in short. So be polite.
Step 6. Explain how much you love the girl, how she changed your life
Then take a deep breath and say, "I would like your blessing to marry her." Maybe they'll be shocked or smile as they nod. Add that you know how important this step is and that you don't expect an answer right away. If it takes time to think about it, you understand yourself. In case they take a few days to discuss it, be polite and when you're ready to leave say, "Well, I'll leave you so you can talk about it. Let me know what you decide. I'd like to propose to you shortly." And call them after a few days. Don't show the ring! It is considered an unfortunate gesture: it is her job to show it off and get aroused, not to spoil it.
Advice
- Prepare for a NO. In an ideal world they would say yes right away, welcoming you to family and some money too. In the real world, they are people with their own opinions, fears and dreams, like you. If they don't want me to marry their daughter, ask why. If their reasons are wrong, you can try to calm their anxieties with kindness and hope to convince them. If not, be prepared for one of two things: 1: Marry her anyway or 2: Leave her.
- Remember to take into account local norms of behavior and her family's family / culture as well as her personality before deciding if this is an appropriate step. She may have spent her life rebelling or wish fickle parents were a little more traditional. Asking parents for their hand is a tradition. It has its roots in the historical conception that women were property (first of fathers then of husbands), but today some consider it a chance to show respect and good education.
- Remember that someone who truly loves will tell the other's family how happy you make them and will at least require them to behave well towards you. If she allows parents to ignore or insult you, maybe you need to think again.
Warnings
- DON'T be too nervous! Some fathers are annoyed with a "little man" man and may decide that you are not enough to be part of the family.
- If the parents are old-fashioned, it is better to meet only the father. He'll come back to you once he discusses it with his wife. Asking both of them is a modern approach.
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DON'T SHOW THE RING - Wear bad and it's up to your girlfriend to show it off.
DON'T talk about how rich you are! If your fortune is something you think could benefit you, don't throw it in the face of future in-laws. Say something subtle like, "I can also take care of her financially if something happens. She will always have what she needs."
- DON'T just ask the father if both parents are alive and she is on good terms with both of them, unless that is what would be expected of you. If not, you could end up offending her and her mother.
