An old saying states that distance increases love; what it doesn't say, however, is that too much distance can make you feel very sad. If you have a crush on someone who doesn't love you back, it can be very difficult to forget it and you could get into a vicious cycle of painful feelings. Getting over a crush is never easy, but there are some helpful methods that can help you move on and find someone better for you.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Getting away from the crush
Step 1. Get away from him
One of the most effective ways to overcome a crush is to avoid the person. Minimize any contact or possibility of contact, so that you can get over it without having bonds that can upset you or rekindle your feelings for him.
It will be difficult to distance yourself in the beginning, but it is the best choice, which will help you move forward faster and easier
Step 2. Delete his contact information and text messages from your phone
One way to make sure you don't have contact with your crush is to delete her information from your phone; also consider deleting all his messages. This will not only help you not contact him in a moment of weakness, but it will also allow you to eliminate a constant reminder of his existence.
- If you don't want to erase his information completely, you can write it down on a piece of paper that you will hide in a safe place.
- Email copies of her messages to yourself and then archive them if you're not ready to delete them entirely.
- Remember that even if you delete his contact, he may not delete yours. If he is looking for you, you may not answer or do it in a short and polite way.
Step 3. Delete it from your social networks
The large number of social sites at our disposal, such as Facebook and Instagram, allows us to access many people, even those with whom we don't necessarily want to stay in touch. By eliminating your crush's presence from your social media accounts, you can further limit your contact with him.
If you're worried about hurting your crush or raising questions about your decision to remove that person from friends or stop following them, find a way to minimize your interactions. On Facebook, for example, you could just hide it from your wall so you never see updates again
Step 4. Stop talking about him and make a commitment not to think about him
When you have a crush on someone it's natural to talk about them and think about them a lot, but that will only reinforce your feelings. Make a conscious effort not to mention him in conversations and to distract yourself when you think about him so that you forget him even faster.
- It can be hard not to mention him in conversation, especially if you have mutual friends, so try not to talk about him or ask how he is too often. You will always be able to step away from conversations about him.
- If you feel the need to talk about him to get over your feelings, do so, but it doesn't have to be a regular habit.
Step 5. Ask your friends not to talk about him
If your friends know you have feelings for your crush, they may mention it from time to time. This will only make you remember and may prevent you from getting over your crush, so ask your friends not to talk about him and not to give you updates on his situation if possible.
There will likely be situations, especially in mutual groups of friends, where your crush's name will be mentioned. To get through it faster, move away from groups until they change the subject
Step 6. Avoid places frequented by him and his friends
You and your crush may have many things in common, including friends, classes or workplaces, or favorite places. Avoid situations where you run the risk of seeing it.
- If you go to school together or work in the same place, don't sit next to him. If she sits next to you, you can say something like "I'm sorry, but I was holding the seat for Laura".
- If you like the same restaurants, try new places.
Step 7. Get rid of tangible traces of him
It will help you forget it. You should remove all traces of him, from the phone to social networks to photographs and other memories you have around the house.
- You can take a step by step or immediate approach to remove it from your life. Emotionally, it may be easier to eliminate the things that remind you a little at a time, or do it on one occasion. Eliminating everything at once will be very difficult, but it may help you move forward faster.
- Delete emails or get rid of letters, cards or gifts from your crush. Holding these things will not allow you to get over your feelings.
- Delete her photos and photos of the two of you together.
Step 8. Allow yourself to suffer and not get angry
Getting over a crush is a painful process, and it's perfectly acceptable to regret the relationship you were in. But it's also important not to feel anger at your crush - just as you can't control your feelings for him, he can't control his feelings for you.
- Admit that your crush was an important part of your life. Even if you haven't been in a romantic relationship, you have still been in a relationship. It is normal to feel sad about the loss of this relationship.
- Don't feel anger at your crush. He may not even know that you have feelings for him or he may find himself in a situation where he cannot reciprocate your feelings. Don't get mad at him for something he doesn't have much control over.
- There are many reasons why you want to get over a crush, such as having a girlfriend or being married, your parents opposing your relationship, or even because it's too big for you. All of these are factors you have no control over and you shouldn't blame him for.
- If this phase is very difficult for you, you can always get help from a psychologist to overcome your worries.
Step 9. Remember that you will find someone else
There are a lot of fish in the sea, and ultimately your crush may not be the right person for you. You will find someone perfect for you, and the sooner you forget your crush, the sooner your heart will be open to this person.
Focusing on your crush's flaws can help you overcome it - and maybe even find someone better for you
Part 2 of 2: Getting distracted
Step 1. Trust your support system
You probably aren't feeling your best trying to get over this important person in your life, so now is the perfect time to get help from family and friends - or even to renew your connections. You will be able to talk about your feelings and distract yourself with fun activities, and thanks to your support team it will be easier to get over your crush quickly.
Friends and family will keep you from drowning in sadness. They can provide you with an excellent distraction that doesn't involve your crush
Step 2. Focus on yourself and other interests
This may make you realize that you have no feelings for him.
- For example, start exercising or trying new activities like yoga, which also helps you focus your mind on something different. You could also take a course that helps you improve at your job.
- Whatever you do, always make sure it makes you feel good.
Step 3. Try new activities
This is a perfect time to try new activities that distract you from your feelings. The more distance you can put between you and your crush, the easier it will be to get over it.
For example, if you've always wanted to try rock climbing, now is the perfect time to do it. This new business will take a lot of practice, and will leave you less time to think about your crush
Step 4. Meet new people
Going out and meeting new people who are unrelated to your crush is a good distraction from your feelings. You may find that you have a better time with new friends and acquaintances than you have with your crush.
There are many different ways to meet new people, including joining a running group or going to happy hour at new venues. Group activities are a great way to meet other people and get distracted
Step 5. Consider flirting or dating someone else
You may not be ready to fully commit to another person, but flirting or dating can help you forget your crush faster. This will improve your self-esteem and distract you from the feelings you have.
Harmless flirting can help you build self-esteem and remember that there are other people you can have relationships with. Just remember to do it lightly and in a fun way
Advice
- Don't be rude to your crush. If he's friendly to you and greets you, it's okay to respond kindly. Just make sure you don't go any further.
- Show him what he's missing. It can be a distraction for you and maybe you can make him a little jealous.
- If they have siblings, it would be a good idea to cut off contact with them too.
- Engage in new hobbies to distract yourself.
- Remember that there are many fish in the sea. If this person doesn't want you for who you are, it's not worth losing your mind.
- Try to be patient with yourself. It often takes some time to forget someone.
- Make a list of all his flaws.
- Remember that there is nothing wrong with crying if you are upset. Eventually you will be able to move forward.
- Don't blame him and don't treat him as if he were "the enemy". He cannot control his feelings any more than you can, and you should never intentionally hurt a person.
- Even if you are trying to turn the page, don't ignore it completely in normal situations like during school activities or in meetings. You would just pass for a cold and heartless person.
