Having an obsession means having a limited view of reality: one becomes unable to look beyond the object of one's fixation and worry about anything else. Obsession becomes part of daily life and is comparable to fear. It is different from addiction, which pushes people to never feel totally satisfied if not in contact with the object on which they depend. Overcoming an obsession is not an easy task, but liberation from it comes when you understand how to stop feeding it further, directing your energy towards other people and interests. Read on to find out how to control your obsession and keep it from affecting both your thoughts and actions.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Clear Your Mind
Step 1. Step away from the cause of your obsession
When you have an obsession with someone or something, a close proximity will be an obstacle to trying to turn your thoughts towards something else. The greater the proximity to the object of obsession, the more difficult it will be to orient one's thoughts elsewhere. A physical distance between you and your obsession will also allow you to mentally detach yourself. At first it will be difficult, but in a short time you will feel that the spell that haunts you will begin to gradually weaken.
- Obsession with a person is the sign of a sick relationship. You need to limit your contact with the person with whom you have developed this sick obsession. Spend time trying to distract yourself with other things and finding ways to achieve a different and bigger goal.
- It may be that you are obsessed with a particular activity, for example playing your favorite video game. In this case, delete the game from your life: uninstall it from your computer or give the console to a friend who will keep it for as long as necessary to overcome the obsession.
Step 2. Stop feeding the obsession
When you feed an obsession, you feel a small explosion of pleasure and it becomes really difficult to lose the habit. Just think about the source of your obsession to increase his control over you. To be able to lose this obsession, you have to deprive it of nourishment. For example, if you are obsessed with a famous person, stop talking about them with friends. Stop reading his tweets and fantasizing about your possible relationship. The more space your mind allows for obsession, the more it will consume you.
- It is not an easy task to stop fueling an obsession. Telling yourself that you will visit a particular Facebook profile for the last time before putting an end to this habit is nothing more than a psychological game. If you want to defeat your obsession, you have to get rid of it right at the moment of maximum involvement.
- Sometimes, an obsession is so ingrained that it survives despite efforts not to feed it. Despite the commitment, the thought may continue to return to you. If this happens, don't be hard on yourself: you can always get the better of your obsession, it will just take some more time.
Step 3. Take your attention away from haunting thoughts
Stopping haunting thoughts is a lot easier than it sounds. If thinking about your favorite topic or talking about it makes you feel good, why should you stop? Remember why you want to overcome an obsession: to see beyond and enjoy all that life has in store for you. When haunting thoughts arise, make sure you have a variety of great distractions to avoid falling back into the tunnel. Here are some ideal distractions:
- Engage in a sporting activity that also keeps your mind busy. Going for a run or walking may not be the best choice, as you would have too much time to mull over your obsession. Try climbing, caving or a team sport that engages both mind and body.
- Novels are a great distraction. Choose a new book or watch a movie whose themes are far from your current obsession.
- In the moment, as your thoughts start wandering and you urgently need a distraction, try putting on some loud music, call a friend (to talk to about everything except your obsession), read a challenging newspaper article or come back. to work.
Step 4. Shift attention to what you have overlooked
When you have an obsession, you don't have much time left for other things: giving your best in the workplace, looking after interpersonal relationships and dedicating yourself to interests not related to your obsession. When you start investing your time in other areas of life, you won't have much else to devote to your obsession.
- Picking up on previously neglected relationships is a great way to overcome an obsession. Your friends and family will be delighted with your renewed presence and will provide you with inspiring new ideas, recent issues and dramas to keep your attention. It will do you good to think of something completely new!
- Many people believe that getting swamped by work life can prevent haunting thoughts from predominating. Regardless of your profession, try to do your best.
Step 5. Learn how to live in the moment
Are you a person who daydreams? You can waste as much time as you want thinking about someone or something that haunts you. However, when you are sitting in a certain place but with your head somewhere else, it means that you are missing out on what is in front of you. If you are ready to end your obsession, you need to learn to be aware. This means that you have to live in the present, rather than thinking about the past or the future.
- Refine your five senses and try to concretely perceive what is happening around you. At this exact moment, what sensations do you feel thanks to the sense of smell, sight, hearing and taste? Pay attention to what is happening in front of your eyes instead of being continually distracted.
- Really listen to people when they communicate with you. Indulge in conversation, rather than nodding absently while your head is on another planet.
- When you feel that thoughts are prone to obsession, the ideal is to have a mantra to recite. Repeating simple phrases like “Breathe”, “Live in the present” or “I am here” could help you bring your thoughts back to the present moment.
Step 6. Undergo Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TCC)
Cognitive-behavioral therapists recognize that there may not be a way to stop thinking about an obsession, but they work to weaken the links between haunting thoughts and their cause in daily life. In this way it is easier to manage life, think about what to do and do it; obsession management is simplified slightly.
TCC can also be used to elaborate a word or an action that can "break" the obsessive thought and allow the shift of attention to something else
Part 2 of 3: Creating New Habits
Step 1. Strengthen interpersonal relationships
If the object of your obsession is a person, the best way to change the situation is to spend time with someone else. You will be able to invest all the energy you poured into the object of your obsession in knowing someone else. Sign up for a class, socialize when you take your dog to the park, or strengthen your friends in the moment. Connecting with other people will allow you to discover how many things the world still has in store for you unlike a single obsession.
- Don't compare the new acquaintance with the person you're obsessed with. Try to appreciate their peculiarities rather than mold them into someone else's shape.
- Even if the object of your obsession is not a person, it will still do you good to make new friends. These will show you previously unknown perspectives and ideas.
Step 2. Aim for new interests
“Trying new experiences” may seem like a trivial solution to every problem, but the reality is that it really works. New skills or advancements in areas never experienced before will awaken your mind and stimulate new points of view that will help you get out of the situation you are stuck in. Show the object of your obsession that you are no longer under its control by dedicating yourself to other things: anything, really, as long as it does not have the slightest link with your obsession.
- For example, if the object of your obsession is a person who hates visiting art museums or watching foreign films, this is the right opportunity to immerse yourself in activities neglected because of him.
- If the object of your obsession is a certain theme, try to study a radically different topic to change.
Step 3. Make changes to your daily life
If your obsession is fueled by your habits, for example taking the same route every day to go to work and through the neighborhood where the ex lives, the time has come to change direction. Stop for a moment to think: what habits do you need to change as they represent an insurmountable obstacle to overcoming obsession? You can find out right away what the answer is. Make a concrete effort to change your daily life; it will be difficult at first, but you will soon realize how gradually lower the intensity of your haunting thoughts will be. Here are some changes that could foster a new mindset:
- Change your commute to work or school.
- Go to a different gym or go to it at different times of the day to avoid encountering the object of your obsession.
- Rather than turning on your computer as soon as you wake up to check your emails and the usual websites, start the day with meditation, a jog or a walk with the dog.
- Go to different hangouts on the weekend.
- Change the music you listen to while you work.
Step 4. Transform your life
If you no longer tolerate the power your obsession has over your thoughts and habits, regain control through some personal transformation. It may sound over the top, but sometimes you have to twist things just to prove to yourself that you can still do it. Take an aspect of your life that represents your obsession and find a way to spice it up, making it completely new.
- It may be that the transformation represents for you a change in physical appearance. If you've kept your hair long to suit the tastes of the person you're obsessed with, why not switch things up with a cut? The ideal is a short and trendy cut that does not have the slightest link with your obsession.
- If you spend all your time online, always visiting the same sites, it may be time to renovate your room or office. Change the furniture arrangement and buy a new one. Tidy up your desk and personalize it with new photographs or knick-knacks. Get rid of everything that reminds you of what you need to forget and let yourself be surrounded by objects that testify to the progress made.
Step 5. Consult a therapist
It happens that an obsession is so deep and stubborn that it is impossible to overcome it without professional help. If you find it difficult to manage your obsession to the point that you lose the ability to be happy, schedule a meeting with a therapist. An expert consultant will be able to give you the adequate resources to regain control of your thoughts and regain control of your existence.
If certain types of thoughts persist in not wanting to go away or if it becomes necessary to repeat certain rituals indefinitely, the cause could lie in an anxiety disorder known as obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). In this case, it is essential to talk about it in order to have access to therapies and drugs suitable for the treatment of OCD
Part 3 of 3: Draw Something Positive from an Obsession
Step 1. Turn your obsession into a good thing
Not all obsessions are harmful. In fact, many people live their lives in search of a "passion", that is, the element that can instill the desire to increase their knowledge and commitment. You can consider yourself very lucky if you have an obsession that fills you with adequate determination. For example, if you live only for astronomy and want nothing more than to devote your time to it, you could turn your obsession into a successful career.
- Even if your obsession does not turn into a prestigious PhD in astronomy, you can always direct it towards a profitable business. You may be so obsessed with celebrity gossip that you can't stop reading the tabloids. Why not start a gossip blog or Twitter account to share your findings?
- Plus, you might get the right boost for self-improvement out of your obsession. If the object of your obsession is someone who doesn't even look at you, you may decide to abandon the bad habits that keep you from getting noticed. Find the motivation to get up early in the morning and go for a run before work or read all the lesson material to make a sharp intervention in the classroom.
Step 2. Make your obsession your muse
If the object of your obsession is a person, you could use your energy to create a valid product. Some of the best literary, artistic and musical creations come to life from obsessions. If you can't stop thinking about that person, imbue a poem, song, or painting with unrequited feelings.
Step 3. Spend time with those who share your obsession
You may think your obsession is a problem, but only until you meet a group of people who share the same passion. Regardless of the object of your obsession, you may not be the only person to experience its charm. Find out who else shares your interest, so you can exchange information and discuss it continuously. It doesn't matter if you are the most committed fan of a football team, if you keep watching every video featuring a certain actress, or if you stay up late to play your favorite video game: there is a possibility that there are other people like you.
Step 4. Don't allow an obsession to circumscribe your world
The obsession is serious only when it begins to take possession of your time and energy, without leaving it for other activities. The only person who can really understand when it is too much is you. If your obsession is a source of joy but doesn't stop you from satisfying basic needs and caring for friends, you can allow it to take its course. However, if it leaves you with a sense of restriction, try to stop feeding it and give yourself a chance to savor other experiences for a moment.
Advice
- Live new experiences to free your mind from obsession, for example go out with friends, read a book or learn to play a musical instrument.
- Don't just push away the obsession and face it.
- Take your time. There is no need to stop suddenly.
- Don't be afraid or ashamed.
- Take it as a battle to be won.
