At first glance, being proud may seem like a strength. In reality, pride is synonymous with presumption and a distorted view of one's own importance, which can lead you to not see your shortcomings. If you are proud, you may think you are better than others. Over time, this personality trait can ruin relationships and limit growth. Overcome pride by recognizing bad habits, eliminating insecurity and replacing it with humility.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Recognize your Pride
Step 1. Admit your mistakes
If you're proud, you probably have a hard time admitting when you're wrong. To some extent, nobody likes to accept their mistakes. You may deny your responsibility because "being wrong" is not a possibility in line with your self-image. But admitting your mistakes is not a weakness, it is simply a part of human nature.
Learn to admit mistakes and apologize or remedy when you make a mistake. Just say "I'm sorry, I was wrong". In this way you will be able to keep relationships in good condition and promote your personal growth
Step 2. Don't be defensive
Somehow, being too proud makes you live on a tightrope, because you are always afraid of losing your status or the favor of others. Due to this instability, you may immediately feel the need to defend yourself. Defensive behavior makes you seem inflexible and insecure. It also does not favor open communication.
- Instead of taking a defensive posture, take a break. Don't follow your instincts and take a couple of deep breaths. Express your agreement, at least in part, by saying "Yes and …". This form is better than "Yes, but …" which seems much more defensive. At that point, try to find together with the other person an effective solution that does not endanger the relationship.
- Do what you can to develop curiosity and listen to other people's points of view.
- Learn to accept criticism, which can become learning opportunities. Taking the opinions of others personally makes it much more difficult to reflect and improve.
Step 3. Learn to be more aware
Mindfulness helps you slow down and live in the present. You will notice your thoughts and reactions related to pride more. Start practicing mindfulness to recognize and eventually accept those parts of yourself.
You can activate awareness when pride takes control of you. For example, if you feel threatened by a co-worker who works excellently, slow down, focus on your thoughts and emotions. Remember that you don't have to view the success of others as a threat. Instead, think about what you can learn from that person and you'll be better able to celebrate their accomplishments
Part 2 of 3: Don't give too much weight to the opinion of others
Step 1. Take more risks
Pride can hold you back because you worry too much about what other people think of you and that makes you uncomfortable. As a result, you will have a tendency to avoid activities that can cause you to lose your status. You may decide not to do anything that others can judge you for, such as not taking risks and not trying new things.
- Think of something you'd like to learn or do and plan to start trying it next week. Don't think about it too much, just do it.
- As you engage in this challenging activity, focus on the emotions you feel as you address your concerns. Avoid thinking about the opinion or judgment of others. If you make a mistake, accept it as part of your development. It is normal and natural to make mistakes.
Step 2. Accept constructive criticism
The proud rarely seek the advice of others. However, in some cases an external point of view is the only way to maintain a realistic image of oneself. Try to listen to constructive criticism and exploit it.
To get started, ask a few friends or colleagues to make an honest list of three qualities they admire about you and three things you can improve on. Don't defend yourself. Thank them and try to use their suggestions for your personal growth
Step 3. Stop comparing yourself to others
When making comparisons, you look for areas where you are better than others. If you are proud, you could measure your worth based on what you own or what you have done. However, the healthiest way to determine your worth is to consider who you are. You don't have to rely on results or material possessions.
Recognize your current beliefs, but learn to question them. This will help you grow
Step 4. Ask questions
Pride and concern for the opinion of others can often deceive you and make you believe that you already know everything; if not, you don't have the courage to admit it to anyone. Overcome your pride by admitting you don't have all the answers. Learn to say "I don't know" and ask questions to expand your thinking.
For example, when you are in class and the teacher asks you a question you can't answer, you may instinctively react with a defensive attitude. Instead, try saying, "I'm not sure, can you help me understand?"
Part 3 of 3: Developing Humility
Step 1. Share your imperfections
If pride dominates you, you probably have a hard time admitting your shortcomings. Practice vulnerability and start confessing your flaws. You may find that other people will be more attracted to you. Also, your criticisms will seem less haughty.
- You don't have to make big revelations, you can start small. The next time you hear someone making themselves vulnerable, say, "Damn, I just can't resist sweets!". If you have the same problem, say so. Don't give up on developing deeper bonds in an attempt to look perfect.
- It takes courage to be vulnerable, but with practice it gets easier.
Step 2. Accept points of view other than yours
Listen actively. You can learn something from everyone, even from those who seem to be inferior to you. If you adopt the mentality that what you have to say is more important than the opinion of others, you will push them away. This approach also severely limits your ability to grow.
Even if someone presents you with an absurd idea, show them respect and listen to them. Who knows, maybe in the middle of the speech, you might start to see the genius in what he's saying
Step 3. Praise others
In professional life, as well as in private life, it is useful to share the limelight. In some cases, proud people hesitate to let others shine. You may think your successes are being dwarfed. It is not so. Always admit the accomplishments of others and when you notice something positive in another person, say it.
- For example, if you notice that a friend is really good at writing, say so. Try: "Wow, I always thought I was the writer of the company, but you are really good Laura. This story is fantastic!".
- Praising others also helps you improve, developing you as a person.
Step 4. Learn to ask for help
Humble people know that everyone needs a hand sooner or later. The proud ones, on the other hand, often try to do everything by themselves, pretending they don't need others. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. In fact, it relieves suffering and promotes collaboration, so it's the smartest choice.
Start small, asking for help when you need it. Simple requests may be enough, such as holding the door or listening to you in a difficult time. Note the positive responses to your requests; people like to be useful
Step 5. Serve others instead of being served
Being humble doesn't mean putting others ahead of yourself. Rather, it means not being so self-centered that you miss out on opportunities to make yourself useful. Focus on the outside world and try to understand how you can help and connect with other people, on an equal footing.
- The next time you see someone in trouble, offer them a hand. Ask a colleague, your partner or a friend "Is there anything I can do for you?".
- You can also volunteer in the local community.
