You are a teenager who wants to go to an event late in the evening - a party, the cinema, or even a church service. But mom and dad keep saying no. Follow these steps, make it a habit, and your parents will be inclined to say yes to this type of request.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Before you ask
Step 1. Show who you are
Show your parents what a nice guy you are becoming before asking for permission to attend a specific event. Being considered a mature young adult by your parents will make it easier to get the permission you want. This doesn't have to be a painful or manipulative process (and your friends will never have to know about it).
- Build a relationship of trust. Train yourself to be honest. If you get a bad grade, be honest. If you forget to take out the trash, be honest. If you scratched your mom's car in the mall parking lot, be honest. Most of the time, your parents will still find out the truth. Training honesty even in small things will allow your parents to trust you quietly even on more important things and that you will go to them if you need help.
- Establish a model of how to make good decisions. You don't have to eliminate crap from your diet or get top marks in chemistry to show that you can make good decisions. Let your parents know when you are doing the right thing, whether it means avoiding a fight at school or studying for exams instead of playing video games.
- Establish an accountability routine. When you meet the expectations your parents have about you (homework, chores, family obligations), they will be more likely to meet the expectations you have as well. The more you become dependent on these good habits, the more responsible you will be in the eyes of your parents. So take out the trash, empty the dishwasher, and study. Surely the effort will not be in vain and it will be worth it.
Method 2 of 3: When You Ask
Step 1. Give information
Parents love information - it makes them feel calmer. Tell him where you want to go, who you want to go with, who will be there, how you will go and how you will return, what you will do when you are there and how long you will be out. If possible, advise them to call an adult who will be present at the night event to get any other information they need.
Step 2. Make yourself available
Encourage your parents to call to check on you - and answer the phone when they call you. That's the first reason they bought you a cell phone. Go to your event with friends they trust.
Step 3. Encourage communication
Be open to discussing the event in detail. Answer the questions openly and avoid a negative attitude. The more you want to communicate, the less your parents will resist letting you participate.
Step 4. Accept compromises
If your parents want you home by 11.30 pm, even if the event lasts until midnight, agree to go home for that time. If they want to take you there and come back for you, let them do it; just let them drop you a block away if it makes you feel embarrassed to be accompanied by them (and be honest about that too).
Step 5. Be respectful
Ask politely. Don't whine, don't coerce them, and don't be angry - it won't help in the long run.
Step 6. Be realistic
Don't ask for permission to do something you already know your parents won't authorize, such as a competition to see who drinks the most beer.
Step 7. Be honest
Don't say you'll go to the movies when you're actually leaving for Mexico. They will probably find out in one way or another and your future prospects will diminish.
Step 8. Be understanding
Know that your parents probably have a good reason for their decision - or at least they think they do. Most of the time, parents say no to protect their children. Show them you understand, ease their concerns, and increase your chances of success.
Method 3 of 3: After Asking
Step 1. Complete
Do what you say you will do. Answer your cell phone. Call if you need a ride. Be home on time - or, even better, five minutes early. Whatever you do, reinforce your reliability in the eyes of your parents, a responsible young adult with the ability to make good decisions.
Step 2. Give thanks
Talk about the event with your parents. Emphasize what you did. Thank them for letting you go.
Advice
- Be serious when you talk to them, if they see that you are not mature then they will feel they cannot trust you.
- Do not lie to your parents, they probably know when you lie and they will make you suffer even more by not letting you go to the event.
- Behave like an adult.
