Finally a specific guide on what to do to comfort your girlfriend! No more vague instructions on telling her how much you love her - that's obvious and always works. If she is sick, sad or scared, following these steps are sure to make her feel better. These are tried and true ways to cheer her up a little and make her her hero.
Steps
Step 1. Embrace her
Hugging works for any person, in any situation. Find a private place where she can calm down and squeeze her towards you, but don't suffocate her. Be firm but gentle - rock her gently or tap her back if you've been together for a while. The purpose of hugging is to make her feel safe and secure.
Step 2. Give her your support
Speak to her in a low, sweet voice and say "You are lovely / beautiful / I love you / etc", "I'm on your side", "We'll get through this together too", "What can I do to make you feel better?". Getting her to talk to you is fine, but a conversation is sometimes impossible, particularly if she's crying. Even if she doesn't respond, you can continue whispering reassurance into her ear.
Step 3. Ask her what's wrong
If he doesn't want to tell you, don't insist. But having an idea of what is troubling her can help ease her fear, sadness, etc. DO NOT tell her she "shouldn't be upset" or tell her in any way that she is wrong to feel bad. Feelings are never wrong and you are there to be by her side, not to criticize her.
Step 4. Light touches work wonders
Even if you're just friends, these physical touches are so small they won't seem overly warm. If you hold her hands, use your thumb to make small circles on the back of her hand. Running your thumb over your knuckles has the same effect. Placing one hand at the level of the kidneys is on the same wavelength as in the first step, and this way you can hold it slightly close to you. Stroke her hair.
Step 5. Be patient
If your girlfriend is openly sobbing, she may need some time to calm down. Continue with these steps for as long as necessary until she has calmed down. He will love you for it. DO NOT leave her alone, even if she seems angry or grumpy, unless she has told you earlier that she prefers to be left alone when she is upset.
Step 6. Listen to her, and if you have any advice, tell her; if you don't know how to help her, suggest that she is with a friend who might be able to help and understand her better than you
Step 7. If you have to go out after the event, buy her some chocolates or wine to cheer her up a little and show her that you care about her
Advice
- HOLD IT TIGHT: Some girls say they want to be left alone when they are crying even though they actually want to be comforted. It's hard to understand what she really wants, so ASK "Can I hold you please?" as you open your arms as if you were about to hug her. It is best NOT to leave her alone EVEN IF she asks you to, at least until you have tried to insist at least 5 times, to be sure. When you leave, touch her shoulder, arm or back one last time and say "I'm here when you want me." DO NOT walk away angry or walk away silently. She may think she's not pretty when she cries and test you to make sure you're with her for better or for worse.
- SUPPORT HER COMPLAINT: Now is not the time for "right" or "wrong" as long as she continues to be upset. Even if you think she's "wrong" to be upset… that's not the point. The point is that something is troubling YOU. DO NOT try to convince her that she is "wrong" unless you want things to get even worse. Wait until you have managed to calm her down to have a real, calm and logical discussion. Until then, give her reasons (if you really think so) or (if you don't agree with her) just stay close to her with words and comforting hugs. Tell her LATER what you think!
- PROTECT HER: Find a reserved seat - she definitely won't want to be seen in public crying. Ask her what she needs. Make her accept everything you do for her and respect her boundaries. Tell her that you don't want anything to hurt her and that you will take care of her.
- Reassure her: you can always say something romantic to cheer her up (eg "I love you so much. We'll get through this together"). This will help you a lot.
- OFFER HER YOUR HELP: Tell her "I hate seeing you upset. What can I do to help you?".
Warnings
- Hugging is great, while kissing isn't always appropriate. If she wants to kiss you, she will.
- If she is not a delicate type, she may be ashamed to be seen crying or deny that she is upset. Most girls need a shoulder to cry on, but if it upsets her to be upset, it's best to give her what she wants and reassure her that it's okay to cry and be scared.
- Most girls will appreciate your attempts to comfort them, but some prefer to be left alone when they are upset. If she acts as if or says she would like to be left alone, back away and give her some space. However don't go too far, it may change your mind.
- If she is crying or scared, she may not want to talk about what is bothering her. Don't insist on answers.
- Be careful to use irony to cheer her up. She might appreciate your efforts, but it's also possible that the jokes annoy her even more.
