On occasions when you feel sad or upset, you want someone to support you. Sometimes, however, it is others who need your comfort. The next time you notice your sister is crying, you can show her your affection with simple gestures.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: After a Breakup or a Quarrel
Step 1. Try to sense his mood and act accordingly
- People can feel hurt in many different ways following a breakup or argument, and your sister is no exception. Don't just try to assume how you feel. Your emotions will vary based on who you have argued with or the repercussions of ending your relationship.
- If she seems really upset, now is the time to step in and show her affection. Avoid saying things like "It's better this way, your boyfriend was an idiot" or "You deserve better". Maybe hug her or bring her a bowl of ice cream.
- If she appears angry or frustrated, let her know that you feel the same way. Help her express her anger in a positive way, such as shouting with her face pressed to a pillow or taking a karate class.
Step 2. Know when it's time to step aside and leave her alone
- If she's in the middle of crying, you should give her time. Even if you think bringing her some chocolate can help her feel better, she may react by accusing you of not taking her pain seriously and just trying to distract her.
- If you are the person you have been arguing with, it is important to give them time to reflect in solitude to better understand what they are feeling. You can comfort her and apologize later when she's done crying and has had some time to think.
- If your sister is angry or frustrated and responds by yelling when you try to get closer, take a step back. She obviously doesn't want your help right now if she's asked you to leave her alone. The same is true if he is having an angry or violent reaction (yelling, kicking, punching, throwing objects, etc.).
Step 3. Ask her how she feels or if she would like to talk about what happened
- If she says no, respect her will and try to say something like, "Okay, there's no need to talk about it. The only thing I want is to be here next to you," then hug her. If instead she decides to share her emotions, listen carefully and say something like, "I'm here for you" or "It must have been hard for you."
- In some cases this will help you get better, but in other situations it may not be the best option.
Step 4. Make a gentle gesture to show your affection
Make her a special breakfast and bring it to her bed, write her a note by hand, do something she likes in her company, or do anything else that can show her that you are there for her in this difficult time
Step 5. Give it time
- Just because you're close to her doesn't mean she needs to recover immediately. Sometimes it takes some time for the emotions of anger, sadness, and frustration to dissolve.
- Keep doing nice things for her and treating her with kindness and affection until she feels better.
Method 2 of 3: After a Loss
Step 1. Embrace your sister affectionately
It's a great way to comfort her and let her know that you are close to her in this painful time. Keep hugging her until she stops crying or feels ready to talk about it
Step 2. Talk about how you feel if you wish
- Don't force her to say anything. A good first step is to understand the situation and say "I heard he is dead…". By using the word "dead" you will let her know that you want to talk to her about how she really feels. Trying to sweeten the situation will only make things worse. Express your support by saying "I'm very sorry" and ask her politely if she would like to talk about how she is feeling.
- If her voice is strangled as she speaks, tell her there is no need to refrain from crying and that you can continue at another time if she doesn't hear it now.
- Don't hide your feelings. You can say something like, "I don't know what to say, but I want you to know that I love you." If you feel the need to cry too, don't hold back. The grief may have involved you as well, and releasing tears with your sister by your side will help her understand that you are experiencing the same painful emotions.
- Ask her if there is anything you can do. This will show her that you want to help her feel better.
Step 3. Don't be afraid to just stand by her side in silence and offer your support in other ways
- If she doesn't want to talk, gently holding her hand, hugging her, or sitting next to her is an effective way to show her your affection.
- Another way to comfort her is to do things for her, like bring her breakfast in bed or take care of some chores.
Step 4. Stay with her for as long as possible
- It can take a long time to get over a bereavement. Until then, try to be as close to your sister as you can, also helping her on a practical level.
- Sit next to her during the funeral ceremony or help her create a memorial plaque in the courtyard. Do something to help her remember the good times when that person (or animal or plant) was still alive.
Method 3 of 3: In Case of General Malaise or Injury
Step 1. Be understanding
- If your sister got hurt, bring her a band-aid and help her dress the wound.
- If she's sad, you can bring her her favorite stuffed toy to keep her company and comfort her.
Step 2. Embrace her
- Hold her tight until she stops crying or feels ready to talk about it.
- Holding her hand or stroking her back will also make her feel loved.
Step 3. When she has stopped crying, ask her gently if she would like to talk about what happened
If he says no, you can say something like, "Okay, if you change your mind you can come to me at any time." If, on the other hand, she feels ready to talk, listen carefully and avoid making suggestive comments or giving her advice, unless she asks you to. If her voice is strangled as she speaks, tell her there is no need to refrain from crying and that you can continue at another time if she doesn't hear it now
Step 4. Reassure her that she can count on you
Tell her "It will be okay" or "I love you and I will always be by your side no matter what happens," then hug her again. A few simple reassuring words can help her calm down and let her know that her happiness is really important to you
Step 5. Do something fun that she likes
Offer her to play her favorite board game or take her out to buy the ice cream she loves the most. Make any gesture that you think will please her and distract her from what made her sad
Advice
- If your sister is sad because you argued and you were rude, apologize. Even if you think you are right, leave the discussion behind and reconcile.
- Be nice to your sister when she is sad or upset. When you need her support, she will do the same for you.
- Gather her friends to help her overcome sadness if something serious has happened, for example if she has lost a loved one. Just make sure that being around them can make her feel better, not worse.
- Don't give her advice unless she asks for it. In some cases, he may interpret them as a lack of respect for his pain.
- Try not to say things like, "I know how you feel," because this is likely not the case. You may have faced a similar situation, but in that case it's best to just tell your story and give it some advice.
- Hug her or cuddle her tenderly.
- If she continues to feel sad or angry, give her time to think for herself.
Warnings
- Getting over a bereavement can be very hard and can sometimes lead to serious emotional disturbances, such as depression. Find out if you may need your doctor's help and contact your doctor yourself if you feel it is necessary.
- If your sister has suicidal thoughts, contact her doctor and a suicide prevention service immediately.
