For some women, having an affair with a married man may seem like a tempting experience, although over time it can become very difficult and painful. There are many reasons why a woman might be attracted to a married man. Therefore, knowing these reasons, as well as the difficulties that arise within such a relationship, can help you decide what to do.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Know the Risks
Step 1. Keep in mind that he probably won't leave his wife
While he may claim to be willing to do so or to be about to leave his wife, in reality most married men are neither ready nor willing to do so. You should understand that there is only a slight chance that he will leave his wife to be with you.
- If he is finalizing his divorce paperwork, then it is possible that he is actually leaving his wife.
- Most men do not part with their wives to be with their mistress.
Step 2. Realize that he will always have a bond with his family
If he has children with his wife, you will need to understand that he will always maintain a relationship with them and, probably, with her as well. Even if he separates, his children will always be a part of his life and he will likely be required to share access rights with her. Therefore, if you continue your relationship with him, be prepared for this eventuality.
Step 3. Prepare to face the difficulties of this relationship
Dating a married man almost always sets the stage for a difficult relationship that risks emotionally hurting those involved. You should be fully aware of all of this if you are planning on pursuing a relationship with a married man.
Method 2 of 4: Understanding Why Women Want to Date Married Men
Step 1. Analyze your relationship to see if you are both looking for strong feelings
What keeps either of you or both of you interested may be the secret nature of your relationship. Covering up, secrecy, and hiding the relationship can all be tantalizing aspects that solidify your bond.
Understand that an exclusive relationship with your man is likely to lose all of its appeal if thrill-seeking motivates your interest in him
Step 2. Ask yourself if you based the report on competition
Some women are very competitive, and such a nature can also express itself in romantic relationships. The desire to be with a married man can be fueled by the fact that they feel superior to their wife. All this can lead them to date a man who is already busy to prove to themselves and others that they are "winning" people.
Step 3. Assess any trust issues you may be facing
Some women may have a hard time trusting men. The attraction of dating a married person lies in the fact that they cannot be betrayed, as they themselves play an active role in the betrayal. In addition, women who are with people who have a marriage relationship are not subject to any restrictions whatsoever regarding permission to date with other men. Lack of trust can be the ingredient that motivates your relationship.
Method 3 of 4: dating a man who is divorcing
Step 1. Keep your man's wife in mind
Even if you may be dating a man who is divorcing, you still have to deal with how his wife might view you. You will need to be wary of any kind of interaction you have with her, as she may harbor a grudge against you and try to cause you problems.
- His wife may be trying to turn you against the children.
- It may try to ruin your image among friends and family.
- Your relationship can prolong the divorce proceedings or make it more expensive.
Step 2. Maintain the utmost discretion about your relationship
For both of you it can be problematic and difficult to see each other during a divorce. Therefore, by protecting your relationship with some confidentiality, you will be able to keep the situation calm and stable during the various stages of the divorce.
- Before making your relationship official, wait until the divorce decree is passed.
- Avoid meeting his children until he is permanently divorced.
Step 3. Make sure your man is physically separated from his wife
If you start dating him while he is still living with his wife, legally your dating could be seen as the reason that led to the failure of the marriage. If your relationship takes on this legal connotation, there is a risk that your man will lose a large part of his assets during the divorce.
Wait to hang out with him until he moves away from his wife
Method 4 of 4: Find out if Your Man is Married
Step 1. Notice the times when it is available
If he's not typically available in the evenings on weekends, but the first thing he does in the morning is to call you, he may be married. He is likely to be with his wife at other times and this may be why he doesn't respond to calls or messages you send.
- Notice when she is available to speak.
- If he only talks to you when he is at work or away from home, he may be married.
- Unless he has to work on weekends, he should be able to meet or talk to you.
Step 2. Think about what you know about his personal life
Often married men do not provide many details relating to their private life. They probably try to hide their marital relationship by filtering out any information that could reveal their existence. Think about how much you know about the man you hang out with and about his personal life to see if he is omitting important information.
- Maybe he doesn't tell you anything about where he lives.
- Maybe he doesn't talk to you about his friends to prevent you from turning to them and asking for more details about his life once you get to know them.
- He probably doesn't talk to you about his previous relationships in order not to reveal anything about his current marriage.
Step 3. Ask yourself if he hides you from his family
If he's currently married, there's a good chance he won't introduce you to his family of origin. A married man is very likely to try to keep an extramarital relationship a secret. If you were to know his, your relationship should be out in the open too. If you have been with him for a long time and avoid a meeting between you and his relatives, he may be married.
Advice
- Examine the reasons why you are in a relationship with a married man. Be honest with yourself.
- Probably the best solution is to end this relationship with dignity.
- Try talking about your relationship with someone you trust.
