The word "escape" once drew images of young people escaping from a bedroom via a ladder to the justice of the peace. With the cost of formal weddings soaring, couples are looking at escape in a new light. whether your parents give you cash instead of using your savings for a grand ceremony, or whether you are a "seasoned couple" with other marriages behind you and the desire for a more private ceremony this time around, the getaway can come in various dimensions. tips for planning a getaway in less time and planning a wedding ceremony.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Think about it
Step 1. Make sure escape is really what you want
If you feel pressure from the future spouse or another person, then the decision may not be what you want. If you're having a problem with money, it's important to take a moment to review what you can afford for the wedding rather than just running away. However, there are many good reasons to make the escape, such as not wanting too much hype, not being able to manage family reunions, or just not loving the idea of a wedding in a big way. What really matters is that you are both honest with yourself and with each other and that you agree on what you really want.
In some cases there are family members who may declare themselves insulted by the decision to go away to get married, rather than celebrating such an important occasion together (you probably already know who it might be, but you may be surprised). Don't let others decide for you: it's you who get married, not the family
Step 2. Decide the date
If necessary, keep family and friends in the dark for a while. Alternatively, give them some clues along with the news if you don't want it to remain secret and if you know they will have no problem missing "the big event".
Method 2 of 4: Legal Requirements
Step 1. Make all the papers required by the place where you will marry, necessary to obtain the license
Depending on where you are, it may take a birth certificate, blood tests, and proof of a previous divorce.
Step 2. Obtain your license in advance of your escape date, taking into account waiting periods
In some cases, this part will not be necessary if you are escaping to places where you can get married quickly like Las Vegas (see How to Escape to Vegas to Get Married).
Method 3 of 4: Budget
Step 1. Define your budget
Evaluate the resources available for things like flowers, dresses, plane tickets, and a photographer.
Step 2. Decide where you will hold the ceremony
It can be a nearby place or a honeymoon destination far away.
- Find two witnesses (or as many as you need) and a justice of the peace or minister for a short ceremony in a city office, courthouse, or small chapel. If that's more your style, you can get back to work the day after the celebration.
- Choose a place that has sentimental value for both of you, such as the park where you used to play as a kid, the supermarket aisle you met, or the campus courtyard you walked through to go to class. Places that are easy to get in and out of, inexpensive and suitable for a short but special getaway.
- Iconic Las Vegas offers many chapels to get married to and all kinds of vehicles and costumes to rent for your special day.
- Escape in style by taking everyone with you to a secret destination, where you'll let a wedding planner organize every detail. While it actually sounds like an official wedding, the spontaneity of it allows it to be viewed as an escape where you involve everyone in an impromptu ceremony.
Method 4 of 4: After the Celebration
While not essential, especially if you keep the marriage hidden, the celebration can be a nice way to get everyone involved in something happy.
Step 1. Celebrate with family and friends
Still with a low profile and no fuss as well as a low budget, find a way to get the people you care about for a little party. Some examples that can inspire you:
- Have a barbecue in the garden to celebrate your wedding, surprising everyone with the announcement written on the napkins, on the place cards or during a special toast.
- Plan a dinner or a cocktail to announce the wedding.
- Call a trusted friend to organize a reception or party with a 'money tree' for you to have family and friends attend to celebrate.
- Everyone go to a round of golf or bowling, have a picnic or a casual lunch.
Step 2. If you prefer, delay the celebrations
If you're inviting people who have resented your escape, then it's best to wait before celebrating. Some chances:
- Consider waiting after having a baby. You can celebrate both the arrival of the baby and the marriage: for the time, those who took it should finally have overcome it and people will be more receptive (they can always use the child excuse).
- If you don't intend to have children, waiting for an anniversary may be another option - time heals all wounds, especially if you are still together.
Advice
- You can also escape but renew your vows with a 'real' wedding the following year and no one will remember your choice.
- Create a website where you can put photos, offer an online guest book, and other event details.
- Running away means having no memories with family and no photos to share. This can have some impact on the decision if you are concerned about it. On the other hand, don't overdo the motivation: being sentimental is not a prerequisite for accepting a ceremony that you would hate, especially considering how many divorced people find it little fun to repeat the ceremony with family members!
- Sometimes it can be useful to tell people who do not approve of your decision that the measure of marriage does not serve to give that of the happiness of the couple. Kindly remind them that starting life together without worrying about money is the best way to be happy and solid over time.
- If escaping is at odds with "normal" behavior, then be very careful. This initial getaway could also extend to a whole range of things you want and end up not having, such as companionship (the physical and emotional presence of your spouse), children, a life together forever. Make sure you have discussed everything well, trust your instincts and don't believe in fantasies.
Warnings
- Running away can sound very exciting. Make sure that this feeling doesn't hide a true incompatibility between you two, which would pop up once the limelight goes out after a few days.
- Depending on their age, cutting out children and showing up with the surprise of a new mom or dad could lead to resentment in the future. Getting them involved in the plans and keeping them a secret will be fun and will help them digest the idea of an extended family.
- Expect some members to really take it out. People have subjective ideas about marriages and attending them and you will need to stick to the facts about why a normal wedding was not for you (but avoid justifying yourself, there is no need). It's also better to accept the fact that their reaction is a decision, as much as you have made the decision to run away.
- Consider that you may feel guilty with anyone who resents your decision. This is not a reason to let it go but you will have to deal with the feelings constructively and not berate yourself.
