Getting a girl back can be a lot harder than courting a new one, but if you really want to rekindle your old flame, here's how to maximize your chances of getting back with your ex or getting a second chance with the girl you had a terrible time with. appointment.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Get her to contact you
Step 1. Give her some space
If you start knocking on her door or calling her every five minutes, she will distance herself. The space and time you give her will be more if it's in a serious relationship, and less if you've only dated this girl a couple of times.
- Don't call her, don't approach her at parties, and don't email her to find out how she's doing. Don't even think about her.
- If you meet her, be polite and say hello, but let her know you won't bother her.
- Don't give it too much space. If you don't call her for a few months, she'll have time to find another guy.
Step 2. Give yourself time to reflect on the mistakes both you and her have made
Why didn't she want you? Were you too careful or too distant? Make sure you don't make the same mistakes again if you get back together.
- Make a list of all the things that went wrong and think about ways to improve your behaviors.
- Don't go out with anyone during this period of reflection. Focus on your personal improvement, in order not to make the same mistakes again.
- Don't look for it until you understand what went wrong and how to fix it.
Step 3. Keep busy to work on your independence and pursue your interests
If you wait for time to pass without doing anything, you will not improve.
- Indulge in your hobbies. Don't stop doing what you love just because you are in pain.
- Go out with your friends, who will lift you up and give you a new perspective.
- Exercise to improve your self-esteem. By the way, if she sees you running around the park, she'll feel impressed.
Step 4. Let her know that you are enjoying yourself
If you have given her space and time and focused on your self-esteem, she will feel prompted to get closer to you. Go for the following strategy: Without looking like a stalker, make sure you hang out in the same places she usually goes and prove yourself a bright, fun guy.
- If you meet her, show her that you have fun with your friends, but avoid pretending - she'll notice.
- If you see her, show her that you can talk to everyone and that you are a good friend.
- Don't ignore her when she sees you. Say goodbye quickly and get back to your beautiful conversation.
- Dance and have fun - she'll probably get jealous because you're not doing it with her.
- Let your best side emerge in their presence. These should be traits that she appreciates about you, so use them to your advantage.
Step 5. Make her jealous (optional)
This step depends a lot on the situation. If the relationship ended because she was too jealous, then you should avoid it, or she'll remember the reason it didn't work out between you. But if the relationship ended because she thought you were too busy or because your attention was bothering her, making her jealous is ideal.
- If you talk, name other girls, especially one, so she'll wonder who you're talking about. Or, tell her there were a lot of girls at the party last night and you met a lot of them.
- Show yourself around with other girls. Talk to your ex for a few minutes before flirting with the others. Make sure she sees everything.
- Do not overdo it. If she sees you talking and flirting with other girls, she'll get jealous, but if you approach every female in the club, you run the risk of looking desperate.
Method 2 of 3: Show her how much you have changed
Step 1. If you've always made her life easy, let her follow you
If you've filled her with love and don't understand why the relationship ended, that may be the reason. Perhaps she thought it was all too simple. Challenge her.
- Pay attention to her, but act absent-mindedly as you do so you will confuse and attract her.
- Don't pay her any compliments, especially if you used to give her one an hour before.
- Let her find you. She was probably used to your first move, but now the roles have reversed. If you are at a party, wait for her to approach.
Step 2. If you've always made her life difficult, change course
Maybe you broke up because she felt like she wasn't the center of your attention or it bothered her that you flirted with others. Do the exact opposite, make yourself available and have no other girls on your radar.
- Tell her to be free and available to go out whenever she wants. He no longer has to settle for the one free hour of your day.
- Don't make her jealous, let her know that you only have eyes for her.
- Take some time to listen to it. Look her in the eye and let her talk without interrupting her. You can mention a phrase she said in a conversation days after she heard it, so she'll know you were paying attention.
- Compliment her, especially if you never gave her compliments.
Step 3. If you hurt her, apologize
She is probably afraid of getting burned again, so explain to her that you understand your mistake.
- Make sure you do it in person. It won't work if you just send her a message or email; it has to be done in person, otherwise she'll see that you don't take it seriously - and neither will she. So, take courage! and apologize for what you did to her.
- Be honest. Make eye contact as you speak and keep calm, without changing your tone. She won't believe you if you apologize just because you have to.
- Be specific. Don't say “I'm sorry for everything,” but “I'm sorry for not listening to you when you really needed to talk. I should have been more present”. She will appreciate it and you will become more aware of yourself.
- Don't be upset if she doesn't accept your apology right away - she'll need time to meditate, but still appreciate the effort. Just tell her, "Don't blame me for trying," but avoid arguing for her to accept your apology.
Step 4. Show her that you are mature:
you will convince her better with deeds than with words. Let's face it: many girls are more mature than their peers, so amaze her with your ability to be rational and adult.
- Don't be moody. Try to behave calmly and you will make a good impression on her.
- Be sure of yourself. Show her that you are happy in your own skin, and she will be too.
- Be responsible. Show her that you know how to manage your money, that you keep a good job and that you are able to take care of your dog.
- Do not be jealous. Don't ask her about that guy she was talking to, or you'll push her to do it again and you'll seem insecure.
Method 3 of 3: Step Forward
Step 1. Tell her how you feel
Once you have proven that you are a different person, explain how you feel, especially if it ended badly between you.
- Do it at the right time and in the right place, perhaps at her home and in the evening, when she is not distracted.
- Make eye contact when you talk to her, don't get distracted.
- Don't be tough: Be open, honest, and willing to share your true feelings.
- First, acknowledge your mistakes and apologize if you haven't done so yet. Later, tell her that you have changed, that you love her, and that you want another chance.
- Tell her, “I can't believe I was such an idiot. You were the best thing that ever happened to me and I ruined everything. Let me show you that you have changed”.
- Don't beg her. Explain that you are trying to try again and hope for a positive response.
Step 2. Take her out
If he gives you a second chance, do your best to play it right.
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Make romantic gestures. Give her some flowers and take her to a restaurant for a candlelit dinner. Don't make her uncomfortable but offer her what you've never given her before.
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Compliment her on the date.
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Tell her that you have missed her and that you are happy to have her in your life.
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Be yourself. You can become a better listener and a more attentive person to their needs, but in the end it's still you, so make sure they like you for who you are. You don't have to lose your essence.
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Step 3. Don't let her escape this time too
If the date went well and you will continue to see each other, don't make the same mistakes, but always make her feel special.
- Remind yourself what happened last time and swear not to repeat it.
- Look at this chance as a new beginning. You won't have to recover the old relationship from the ashes, but build a better one.
- Relax and enjoy your time with her. Be grateful for what you have achieved.
Advice
- Calm down before you talk to her, don't stammer as if you are feeling insecure, or you won't make a good impression.
- If you ask her to get back together with you in front of friends, she may think you are brave and say yes. However, you may also be embarrassing her. Consider his personality before doing this.
