Regaining a girl's trust after you lie won't be easy. It doesn't matter if you lied about your time with another girl or about your betrayal, or about anything that hurt her; it will be difficult for her to trust you again - difficult yes, but not impossible. If you want to be honest with her, give her time and space and never lie to her again, so you can slowly and surely regain her trust and heart. How you do it? Follow these steps.
Method 1 of 3: Method 1: Talk to her
Step 1. Apologize
If you want to win back your girlfriend's trust, the first thing you need to do is sincerely apologize for lying and hurting her. It doesn't matter if you cheated on her or told her you were spending the weekend at your grandmother's when you were in Riccione with your friends, or if you lied about something personal, it is inevitable that she feels hurt, confused and doesn't know anymore. who are you. Show her that you realized that you made things difficult for her and that you really regret what you did.
- Don't ask her "sorry" just because you think it's the right thing to do - you really have to think so. If you are not sincere, he will understand.
- When you apologize, make eye contact with her, speak slowly, and lean towards her so she knows she has your full attention.
- You don't have to apologize a thousand times - it's the quality that matters, not the quantity.
- Let her know that you understand how much suffering and pain you have caused her. If she isn't convinced that you understand her pain, she won't even want to listen to you.
- Even if it's not about you, let her know that you are in a lot of pain because of your mistake.
Step 2. Be honest about why you lied
Don't add too many details if you think it would only make her suffer more, but you have to be honest about why you lied to her. Maybe you wanted to protect her, or maybe the truth embarrassed you and you wanted to cover it up. Whatever the reason, tell her why you did it - she'll show her you're growing and thinking about it, and you're not just trying to move on without putting things into perspective.
- Being honest about why you lied will make her think you will be honest in the future.
- Explaining your reasons will help her understand your point of view.
- Know when it's best not to be honest. If you wanted to go out with another girl just because you were bored or dissatisfied, better keep it to yourself.
Step 3. Promise her it won't happen again - really
First of all, you need to be sure that it will never really happen again. If you are the first to doubt yourself and fear making the same mistake again, then spare your girlfriend more pain and work on yourself before committing to someone else. If you don't trust yourself first, who else could? Once you are sure it won't happen again, you should promise her that you have no intention of repeating your mistakes.
- Be honest when you tell her these things. Don't make an empty promise.
- Let her know that you know full well that actions are worth more than words, and that from now on, your actions will follow your promises.
Step 4. Promise her that you will change
Tell her that you will strive to be a better and more complete man who would never lie to her. Be aware that you know very well that it will be a long process and you will not change overnight, but let her know that you want to try to change for her. If you already have a plan to initiate the change, whether it's keeping a journal or starting a psychotherapy journey, or just trying to be more sincere, more thoughtful, tell her what you are going to do and you will sound even more sincere.
Again, make it clear that you won't change in one day, but that you want to get to work right away because regaining his trust is the most important thing to you
Method 2 of 3: Method 2: Regain Your Trust
Step 1. Give her her space
Once you've told her everything you wanted to tell her, it's time to give her some space. The worst thing you can do when trying to regain a girl's trust is to call her or show up at her house every two by three, choking her. Instead, tell her that you will step back and wait for her to contact you when she is ready. This does not mean avoiding all communication, but standing aside for a while waiting for her to be ready to talk to you.
- You can show up with a message or a call after a few days, but only if you have the impression that he wants to talk to you - even if reluctantly.
- If you want to be sweet, you can send her some flowers, but don't overdo it. If she's really upset, she won't be ready for your presents.
- You can make a small gesture, like writing her a letter, to let her know that you think of her.
- If you meet her by chance, be kind and friendly, but don't hold her back for too long or she will have the impression of being ambushed.
Step 2. Give it time
Time is as important as space. You have to be patient and wait for her to come forward and not force her and pretend that everything is the same as before. To do this, you will need to be patient, even if you go out often, and be aware that she won't throw herself into your arms after you lie to her. Don't ask her if she forgave you every two seconds, and don't try to book luxury vacations or romantic outings; slow down, and wait for her to make the first move.
- Even if you start dating again, don't expect things to be the same. Be careful of physical contact, compliments and in general all the time you spend together.
- Don't be frustrated. It is natural that you want to be forgiven right away, but it doesn't work that way.
Be natural. You don't have to talk about your lie all the time. Just be more careful without going overboard and wait for her to trust you again.
- Get out of the box. Show her that you are there for her. Even if you didn't go to her basketball games before, show up at a few after-school meetings to show her you care.
- Get her to open up and listen to her problems. This shows that he is starting to trust you again.
- You should be trustworthy, but that doesn't mean you have to become his little dog or his servant - keep your identity by making yourself useful as much as possible. She doesn't have to think you're crawling for her.
Step 3. Be traceable
If you want to win back your girlfriend's trust, you need to be available. Even if you don't have to give her a copy of your diary, she should have an idea of where you are most of the time, or she'll start worrying again. If she calls or writes to you, answer her as soon as possible. If you let her wait for more than a few hours, or even a day, she will begin to doubt your change.
- You can accidentally let her know what you will do when you are not with her. If you're going to a football match with your friends, tell them, and maybe get her a teddy bear with her favorite team's shirt. If you are going to the beach with your uncles, send her a picture of the sea and write her how much you would like her to be there with you.
- Don't be mysterious. If you're running out, tell her why.
- This doesn't mean she has to watch you or install a GPS on your car - it means she has to have a general idea of what you're doing so she can trust you.
- Even if you are away for a few days, don't forget to show up. Try to call at least once a day and text her a few messages to let her know you think.
Step 4. Keep being honest
As you spend more time together, keep being honest. Confide in her if you are sad, confused or hurt and tell her if you feel choked or can't be yourself. She will want to know how you feel in order to get an idea of what's on your mind. If you tell her a lie again, and she finds out, it's over.
Be patient and keep telling her what's on your mind. That way, slowly, she'll trust you again. You don't have to tell her everything you think, but you should make an effort to open up to her
Method 3 of 3: Method 3: Maintain His Trust
Step 1. Make her feel special
You may have regained his trust, but how do you keep it? You need to make her feel special so that she knows how important she is to you, and that you will never lie to her again. To make her feel special, act like a gentleman, plan romantic outings, compliment her on her looks and personality, and be interested in her hobbies, thoughts and goals.
- If she's beautiful, don't be afraid to tell her.
- Send her flowers or a poem if you feel like it.
- Ask her for her opinion on things that concern you, whether it's a haircut or an event.
- Be interested in his life. Ask her about her family, about the last exam she did, or even interested in her childhood.
Step 2. Open up with her
If you want her to continue to trust you, then you need to learn to confide in your girlfriend, tell her something about you that few people know - or that no one knows - and let her know that you trust and care about her. If you tell her something personal or private, then she will understand that you value her judgment and reaction, and that you want to be really honest with her.
- You don't have to tell her anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Show her that you trust her enough to share something personal, and maybe she will reciprocate.
- If you work hard to make yourself known, they will appreciate it and understand that you are sincere.
Step 3. Be honest with yourself
If you want to keep your girlfriend's trust, you need to be honest and consistent with yourself. Even if you have probably made big changes in your life to stop telling lies, you don't have to become another person just to regain their trust. If you feel that you are crawling, licking her feet, or using all your energy to conquer her, then you are not yourself, and she will certainly not be happy.
Ask yourself if you're okay in your shoes, and if you feel like your girlfriend trusts the real you - not a character you've created to win her back
Step 4. Realize when it's too late
Unfortunately, you may never be able to regain your girlfriend's trust after a lie. If it's been weeks, even months, and you still feel unstable, like she doesn't trust you at all, like she's constantly checking on you and you find yourself always apologizing for what happened in the past, then it could be. too late to fix things. Better to end the relationship before you both suffer even more, and cause more pain by trying to fix something that is too worn to fix.
- If you feel you've been patient enough and given everything for your relationship but your girlfriend still doesn't trust you, then it's best to go your separate ways.
- If it really doesn't work, then it's better to start over with another person - as long as you've learned your lesson.
- Once you understand that there is nothing more to do, you should turn the page as soon as possible. It is certainly better not to prolong the agony - for both.
- If he asks you questions about something he shouldn't know, don't lie. She knows.
- Be honest. It's the only way to get your relationship back on track.
- Show her you care. And that you weren't going to hurt her.
- If possible, avoid telling lies from the start.
- Don't expect immediate forgiveness, in fact, don't expect me to forgive you.
- Try to make up for your lies by surprising her. You don't necessarily have to buy her flowers; write her a note or give her a gift. She will begin to soften because she will understand that you are trying to fix it.
- Avoid lies at all costs; relationships are built on trust and respect, not dishonesty.
- Show her you're not lying. Show her the evidence.