A deception, whether to the detriment of the partner or to pass an exam, almost always consists in taking the most comfortable route to get out of a difficult situation. However, it is a "solution" that generally creates more problems than it solves, even if they are not immediately perceived. Stopping cheating is difficult, especially when it becomes a habit, but very often it is enough to do a sincere self-analysis and seriously evaluate the dangers so that you can move in the right direction.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Stop Being Unfaithful
Step 1. Avoid falling into temptation as you examine the situation
There are many reasons for cheating on your partner, ranging from unhappiness in the relationship to the thrill of a new conquest. As a result, if you continue to be unfaithful, you will not be able to think judiciously and get to the root of your behavior in order to eliminate the problem. Therefore, the first step is always to close any affair that has started, even if it is only momentary.
- Remember it won't be easy, but it's normal. Just because you struggle to hold back the idea of being able to indulge your carnal pleasures doesn't mean it's not worth it.
- In reality, the only way to stop cheating is to stop. Take things one day at a time and keep busy.
- Set a reasonable time limit, such as not giving in to any temptation for two weeks. Once finished, ask yourself if in the meantime the desire to cheat has passed or if it is still as alive as before.
Step 2. Avoid escapades by trying to distract yourself
Take a few days off or go out more often with your partner and / or family. Cultivate a hobby all by yourself so that you have an outlet that doesn't cause you to be unfaithful. Whatever you do, don't substitute times when you indulge in adventures by increasing stress or workload. Be aware that cheating can help relieve tension to some extent, so find another way to relax. Spend your time trying your hand at something you enjoy and the temptation to cheat will lessen.
Step 3. Examine if your relationship is compromised by deficiencies and unhappiness
People rarely cheat without a reason, and the most common is unhappiness with a partner. Can the person you love meet your emotional and sexual needs? Do you think your tendency to be unfaithful is a response to some of his behavior? In these cases, it is even more important to stop. Notice if your perception of your problems worsens or improves once you have decided to give up on your adventures. Ask yourself if cheating is the only way to smooth out your relationship problems.
Betrayal, in itself, does not mean that the relationship has come to an end. Many couples actually come out of a period of infidelity stronger than before. However, you need to step back and reevaluate the relationship
Step 4. Take your personal problems and desires seriously, even if they do not depend on your relationship with your partner
Although unhappiness within the couple is one of the main reasons for cheating, some people do it even when they have a "perfect" partner next to them. Perhaps they lack the "thrill of conquest" or have the impression that in a stable relationship the troubles of youth begin to disappear. Others like to keep feeling certain emotions because they feel trapped at work or at home. The important thing to remember is that those around you don't have to feel guilty about your infidelity, so try to figure out if that's actually the way it is.
- Keep in mind that in the United States more than half of the population chooses psychotherapy to manage this problem, because sharing their fears and worries with a professional is a great way to learn how to overcome them.
- Are there things you can do to improve your happiness, including reducing stress or decreasing your workload? By doing so, you can greatly curb the desire to cheat.
Step 5. Put your spouse first when you apologize or end a clandestine relationship
To stop cheating, avoid getting to the heart of the matter and think more about your partner. It is much easier to justify our actions by claiming that they only hurt ourselves and that, therefore, we deserve it. However, if you put yourself in the shoes of the person you love in case they find you (even if they don't), you'll immediately have something worth making the effort.
If your partner has found out about you, you should ask him (continuously) what you can do to regain his trust. It won't be easy, but it is possible
Step 6. Consider confessing the truth so that you can work through your problems together, possibly with the help of a marriage counselor
If you have realized that there are problems in your relationship and you intend to resolve them, it is probably time to be honest with your partner. Marriage counseling, or even one-on-one therapy, will allow you to have a more objective external viewpoint on your problems. It can also help you find a solution together.
If you have already been discovered, but you don't want to end the relationship, you need to show that you are willing to work together to overcome any difficulties that have arisen within the couple. Don't just say, "I've stopped cheating on you." Find a way to explain how committed you are
Step 7. Use infidelity as a motivation to build a stronger relationship, not to end it
Adultery often highlights fundamental problems within a relationship, but it is the first step to solving them. It is not easy to accept the situation immediately, but usually the betrayal indicates which points of the relationship must be worked on. Perhaps the couple's sex life has become monotonous and should be revived. Perhaps you feel that family responsibilities are primarily on your shoulders and would like additional help. Whatever the problem, try to see infidelity as a chance to improve the situation rather than as a sign that your relationship is hopelessly compromised.
Step 8. Recognize what you are giving up by cheating
Does immediate fulfillment justify the consequences you will face over time? Can a moment of passion make up for a month of guilt? You need to honestly assess the worst-case scenario your behavior could lead you to. 90% of the time it's not worth losing your partner on a fleeting adventure should it come to the surface.
In the event of a divorce or separation, any infidelity can be (and likely will be) used against you when establishing child support
Part 2 of 3: Prevent Your Partner From Cheating On You
Step 1. Explain openly what your emotional and sexual needs are
One of the main causes of betrayal is that one of the two partners is unable or unwilling to satisfy the needs of the other, who, in turn, turns to a third person to satisfy them. To prevent this scenario from happening, you need to honestly communicate your needs, including:
- How often you would like to have sex.
- Degree of tolerability and desire for adventure in your sex life.
- The division of housework and / or childcare.
- Long-term goals and plans for your life and career.
Step 2. Listen
When you talk about what you want and need, ask the other person what they expect as well. It is not an extraordinary initiative that must be taken "once only", but it is the key to building a healthy relationship. You need to take the other person's thoughts and concerns seriously and always make time to listen to them. This is not a passive effort: ask further questions if something is unclear, nod your head, consider his requests and keep your word.
Not all people are able to open up, especially on sensitive topics. Overcome this stumbling block by honestly exposing what you think, then ask what his opinion is
Step 3. Open a discussion about what constitutes or does not constitute betrayal
If you miss a kiss with a friend from college after having one glass too many, would your partner want to know? Is flirting or offering someone a drink at a business conference inconceivable, or do you trust each other so much that you limit yourself to a few innocent jokes with whoever tries to woo you? Just because it is difficult to open up to these aspects does not mean that you should not talk about them, and it is always preferable to start this conversation before one of you does something that you might regret.
The more openly you talk about sex, the easier and more fruitful your conversations will be
Step 4. Don't neglect your happiness
Since a healthy and fulfilling relationship is a two-way street, your subjectivity is important in feeling free and satisfied. Therefore, take care of yourself while keeping the relationship alive, because your personal happiness is the best defense against infidelity.
- You should feel able to confide or express complex feelings to your partner rather than repress them.
- It is healthy and appropriate to spend time each on their own or with other people, whether they are men or women. Speaking and flirting innocently is not a form of betrayal, but it is an aspect of socialization and the freedom of the human being.
Step 5. Avoid temptations before they are too strong
Refreshments after a business conference out of sight of your partner may seem like an opportunity to have fun, but it's a sure disaster if you tend to cheat. If you have promised yourself to quit, prevent mistakes by avoiding situations that push you away from your good intentions, including:
- Parties without a partner, especially if alcohol is served.
- Solo travel, such as business conferences or trade shows.
- Go out with single friends who never miss a chance to conquer.
- People you feel attracted to or tempted by, especially if there has been an affair.
Step 6. Remember that even the healthiest relationships require commitment
Whether you are going to live together, decide to get married or start a serious relationship, you are only at the beginning. Couples who have been married for 50 years also realize that a relationship requires constant commitment and ongoing budgets in order to function. How can you support your partner? How can he give you his support? What are the little everyday things that make him happy and how can you make them possible?
- Sex life as a couple will not become monotonous if you confide in and fulfill each other's wishes and fantasies.
- The moments of difficulty should not distance you, but bring you closer. How can you help each other manage them?
- How can you divide up household chores, childcare, shopping, and cooking so that no one gets the impression that the other is taking advantage of his availability?
Part 3 of 3: Stop Cheating in School
Step 1. Keep in mind that when you study, the main focus is not on the grade point average, but on learning
There are many faculties and academies that are interested in the final grade of students, but the truth is that deceiving into these institutions won't get you very far if you don't have the necessary knowledge to move forward. Cheating is a momentary solution, when the main goal in your life is to learn as much as possible. Before defining education as "useless", remember that knowledge is power, regardless of the field of study in which you intend to enter.
Generally, getting a degree isn't hard work, but it doesn't mean that the easiest way to get it will help you become a better person. Every little knowledge acquired will make you a little more competitive in interviews, at work and in the opportunities that arise
Step 2. Keep in mind that problem solving (not just those assigned by the teacher) is the real skill to learn in school
Of course, you will no longer have to use mathematical formulas once you enter the "real world", but that's not the point. Studying math means understanding the concepts that guide the world we live in, concepts that you can apply to virtually any problem if you have the skills to interpret and analyze numbers intelligently. Regardless of the field in which you want to specialize, know that each subject has its importance:
- science: they are essential even if you will not study them anymore, because the vocabulary and scientific thinking are indispensable in the modern age, based on technology. Simply knowing the basic concepts will greatly expand your understanding of the world.
- Italian and literature: they may seem useless, but by analyzing the meanings of words, reading and understanding the language hidden between the lines and getting used to looking at things from different perspectives, you will learn to become a more tenacious person, with an elastic mind and critical thinking.
- Foreign languages: it has been shown that they strengthen neural pathways, improve speaking skills, predispose to multitasking and problem solving.
Step 3. Make an effort to manage your time better instead of finding shortcuts
The typical day of a high school pupil takes place between lunch, study, extracurricular commitments, dinner and other things to do after dinner, without considering going out with friends, video games, telephone conversations and other recreational activities. Surely, after school, the last thing you want to do is spend more time on books. However, if you don't study once you get home, you hinder the development of one of the most important skills in your life: prioritizing your duty and completing it efficiently.
- If studying or preparing for questions isn't your top priority, the temptation to resort to bad tactics will be much stronger.
- Make the most of your study time to enjoy the moments you have left. Everyone loves to relax, but once your homework is done, you can take advantage of the time you have left for the activities you enjoy.
- Set yourself quantifiable goals instead of simply saying, "I'll study tonight." Instead, decide to finish a page of exercises, read a chapter, or finish 50% of the assignments. It is much easier to achieve concrete goals.
Step 4. Eliminate temptations before they become irresistible
If you sit down so that you can't see what your classmate writes on a class test, you'll never be tempted to take a peek. If you don't pass an answer sheet, you don't put yourself in a position to use it. You can only copy if you find a way to do it. The best way to stop cheating is to avoid taking the opportunity when it presents itself.
Step 5. Consider the consequences if you get caught
Don't overlook the risk of being exposed and remember that teachers and your parents will no longer trust you when they realize that you have not been corrected. Also, be aware that the consequences can be even greater than simply not completing a class assignment. If you do it honestly, you could swing between an excellent grade and a poor one, but if you are caught cheating, the gap will widen between an excellent grade and a poor grade.
Rarely does a wrong assignment deeply affect a student's life, provided that such a risk exists. However, the cheat or opportunist brand could haunt you for years
Advice
Whatever the circumstances, a lack of loyalty in school or towards a person never implies an advantage for oneself. It is a dishonest gesture, which leads you to constantly hide or cover up your cheating. So, you should face the problem instead of complicating your life further
Warnings
- It's not easy to stop cheating or cheating, but you can do it as soon as you feel ready.
- If you get caught, know that the consequences you face may be more serious than those that result from honest behavior.
