If other girls flirt with your boyfriend, the first thing you need to do is analyze the situation carefully. First, consider whether he is completely innocent or whether he contributes to the problem; then, you can decide whether to confront the woman you caught red-handed or wait to get home and talk privately with your partner.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Analyzing the Situation
Step 1. Take a step back and look at the situation objectively
Often two people are required to flirt. A girl may try to seduce your boyfriend, but he may have done his part too. Try to carefully evaluate their exchange to see if they are both in the game or if only one person is responsible for what happened.
- Analyzing the situation allows you to choose the best strategy to deal with it. Once you understand who is responsible for what happened, you can decide whether to blame the girl, your boyfriend or both. You will also know when to engage in these conversations.
- For example, if she approaches him with sweet eyes or pulls her chest out, she is trying to seduce him, especially if she talks to him in a provocative way.
- If he approaches her and accepts the dialogue, she is flirting as well. If, on the other hand, he remains on his own, he tries to repel the "assault".
Step 2. If the other girl is the problem, focus on her
If your boyfriend hasn't indulged her in any way, just talk to her for now. In one of the following sections of the article you will find some advice on what to say. It is not necessary to be mean, but you can approach the episode in a discreet and direct way, clearly explaining your opinion.
- It may be enough to raise an eyebrow to let her know that you know what she is doing.
- You may even decide not to do anything. If you are in public, you might just walk away.
Step 3. Wait, if you want to talk to your partner
If he is the one initiating the dialogue with another woman or if he is actively involved in what is happening, wait to be in private before discussing with him. This way you won't fight in public and you will have time to calm down before expressing yourself.
Part 2 of 3: Dealing With What Happened Now
Step 1. Look at the girl
The easiest way to text a woman trying to seduce your boyfriend is a simple look. Gaze at her without smiling until she walks away. If he doesn't get the message, move on to more explicit tactics.
Step 2. Take possession of your boyfriend
When the other girl starts coming forward, let her know that she is talking to your partner by touching him. Put your arm around his shoulders, or take him by the arm, squeezing his hand. Rest your head on his shoulder. These discreet gestures will prompt her to step aside.
Step 3. Make your union known in words
You can protect your territory with a few sentences. For example, if a girl asks your boyfriend what she's going to do over the weekend, say, "We're going to see a movie together. It's our favorite, isn't it so sweetheart?"
- Clearly spell the words "together" and "our"; almost everyone will understand your message.
- By indicating that you have a good level of intimacy, because you are sharing the same favorite movie, it will be clear to everyone that you are together.
Step 4. Make a comment
If the other girl is trying to seduce your boyfriend in a blatant way, you can make a joke about his behavior, so as to highlight it without being mean; in this way you will call attention to what is happening, putting an end to the unpleasant situation, but without going into a rage or creating a climate of tension.
For example, try telling the girl who is laughing too much at your partner's jokes: "He was funny, but not so funny! He always plays bad puns."
Step 5. Take it aside
If you don't want to make a scene, you can talk to the girl privately. This strategy is more effective with people you know than with strangers. If she doesn't stop despite all your attempts, ask her to speak for a minute and explain the problem to her.
For example, you might say, "You may not notice that you are doing this, but you are flirting with my boyfriend. I find this really disrespectful and I would rather you stop."
Step 6. Avoid the situation
If you find that your boyfriend is attracting unwanted female attention in some situations, you may want to avoid them. For example, if when you go to the disco there is always some girl trying to flirt with him, find another pastime for the weekend.
Another possibility is to avoid the person who creates problems. If a girl you know flirts with your partner, try not to meet her
Step 7. Pretend nothing
The last option is to ignore the flirting attempt. If your partner doesn't consider the girl trying to seduce him, there's no reason why you should. Also, what happened could make your boyfriend feel more excited about being with you and your evening together could become even more enjoyable.
Part 3 of 3: Discuss it with your boyfriend
Step 1. Prepare your boyfriend on time
Let him know that you want to talk to him about your relationship, so he will be ready for the conversation and you will be free to choose the best time to discuss the subject.
- If you have the choice when to talk, you will avoid bursting with anger when your boyfriend is flirting with someone else.
- When talking, make sure you have all the time you need and turn off all electronic devices to avoid distractions.
Step 2. Talk about your emotions
Start the conversation by explaining what you saw and how it made you feel. This way you will make your boyfriend understand the logic of your reasoning. Don't blame him or you'll put him on the defensive, so focus on how you feel.
You might say, "I notice that other girls flirt with you a lot. I appreciate that they find you attractive, it's one of the things that led me to date you. However, I feel very upset when you accept flattery instead of rejecting it."
Step 3. Explain how you feel
You probably know why flirting attempts make you angry. For example, one of your exes may have gotten into a bad habit and eventually left you for someone else. As a result, when your boyfriend gets close to other women, you are afraid that history will repeat itself.
- Think about the problem to understand why it bothers you so much when your boyfriend flirts with other women. Often it comes down to a lack of trust.
- You might say, "It bothers me a lot when you sweet eyes on other women, because my former partner was always flirting with all of them and you know he left me for someone else."
Step 4. Let him explain
Now that you've started the conversation and made it clear how you feel, you should give your boyfriend a chance to talk too. For example, he may not even notice that he is having malicious behavior or perhaps he does not understand how much it annoys you. From his point of view, he may just be behaving politely.
- Pay attention to what you say, instead of trying to think about how to continue the conversation when it's your turn to speak.
- Don't focus on your suffering. Hear what her feelings and intentions are.
- Nod and ask follow-up questions to get to the core of what he is saying. For example: "I get the impression that you don't think flirting is such a serious act. Why do you think so?
Step 5. Discuss jealousy
Attempts at flirting are often linked to this emotion. Maybe he voluntarily talks to other women to make you jealous. Maybe you overreact because you have a tendency to be too jealous and possessive. Talk about this topic so that you can clarify if it is part of the problem.
- For example, you might say, "I know I'm too jealous. I think I can't accept you flirting with other women because I'm not sure I'm up to you."
- You might also ask, "Do you happen to flirt with other women to make me jealous? I ask this in order to correct the problems in our relationship and not to make you feel pressured to behave like this."
- Let me tell you what she thinks about the subject so you can continue the conversation.
Step 6. Find solutions
When both of you have talked about your feelings, try to figure out how to improve the situation. Come to a compromise that suits both of you so that you feel satisfied.
- You might try to change your opinion about flirting. For example, you might consider his friendly conversations with other women as innocent incidents, but don't accept occasions when he touches a girl or gets too close to her.
- Find a way to let him know when he is pushing further. For example, when you notice him losing control, you could whisper something in his ear to get his attention.
- Talk about the problem every time it comes up. Don't fight in the restaurant; however, when you feel that he has gone too far, try talking about it the next day so that he understands that you are feeling hurt and can remedy the situation.
- Try to increase the intimacy between you. In some cases, your boyfriend may feel the need to flirt with others because you never do it with him. Find time to hold his hand, kiss him, or dance with him on the porch. All these little gestures will make both of you feel more loved and confident.
Step 7. Leave it
The last choice available to you is to leave it. If you can't stand his behavior and he flirts with other women so often that the days you feel angry are more days than the days you are happy, maybe it's time to end your relationship. Sometimes, the only alternative is to swallow the toad or move on.
