Everyone knows that kind of girl: as soon as you turn the corner… here she is trying with one. Five minutes later, she has already moved on to another one. Unfortunately, many of us are in a relationship with such a girl. You need to know that it's not cute, it's not funny, and it's not okay, no matter how harmless the girl thinks it is. Take her aside and let her know that hopping from guy to guy when she's with you is a clear sign of disrespect, and she'll start rethinking her actions.
Steps
Step 1. Decide whether or not you want to be with this girl:
is it really worth it? Besides, is he really flirting? Some girls are spontaneously friendly, and it can sometimes give the impression that they are flirting when, on the other hand, they only have eyes for you. Maybe you are too possessive - your girlfriend should be allowed to talk to other guys in a friendly way. That said, if you think she is flirting and not just being friendly, and it could be a breakdown for you, tell her about your decision, and explain why - maybe it will lead her to think about how her actions could cost her a good deal. relation.
Step 2. Determine if you are giving her enough attention
Maybe the reason he seeks attention from other men is because he doesn't get enough from you. Try to support her more and flirt with HER. If you find her flirting with someone else, you can approach her and hug her, kiss her on the cheek, or put your arm around her waist with a big smile, distracting her from the other guys. If she gets a lot of attention, respect and care from you, she shouldn't look for it anywhere else.
Step 3. Talk to her
Ask her politely why she's flirting with other guys. Key word: KINDLY, and sincerely. Avoid becoming accusatory or hostile if possible, but let her know how you feel her attitude is compromising your relationship. Take her aside, or wait for a moment when you are alone, to talk to her, and when that happens, do it with frankness and understanding, but with the firm belief that you are putting an end to the problem. Here are some examples of ways you can openly deal with it without starting a fight:
- You: "It makes me feel really uncomfortable when we're away together and you spend a lot of time flirting with other men."
- Her: "I don't do it on purpose - that's how I am, I guess. You know I love you."
- You: "Yeah, usually that's what I think too. But when you seem more interested in others every time we go out together, it makes me feel bad. I told you about it before, and it happened again. I don't care that it makes me angry and sick. If you love me as you say, then you should really care that it hurts me. And most of all, it embarrasses me - my friends watch you flirt with others, and they wonder what 'I don't want to go, since you are so interested in the other guys."
- Her: "What nonsense. You shouldn't live it like this …"
- You: (firmly) "But that's how I feel. Honey, you can't tell me what I feel or don't feel. And I feel bad when you do that. I want it to stop. Can you do it for me?"
- Him: "I don't do it on purpose … I guess I can't do without it."
- You: (don't give in) "You have to understand one thing: I could also end the relationship on that. I don't think I have to put up with something I told you that embarrasses me and makes me angry every time we go out together. I want to feel calm, safe and happy to go out with my girlfriend. If you really can't do without it, if you can't stop, then I tell you that this is not right for me, and we won't see each other again. I don't want to, but if that's the case, I will. I need to know that you understand how important this is to me, and to prove it to me you have to stop acting like that. I have nothing more to add."
Step 4. Underline the compliance part
In the example above, you are not accusing her of being unfaithful. You're telling her that you feel disrespectful when she behaves like that. Make sure she understands how, in your eyes, this is the heart of the matter - does she respect you enough to suppress her urge to flirt?
Step 5. Ask her to take your place
Don't flirt with other girls to get them to taste her medicine - for now. Instead, ask her to imagine how she would feel if you were disinterested in her, and started hitting on all the single girls at all the parties you go to. Make him really think about it. At worst, you could actually flirt with other girls, but it would be even better if you had a friend or two to help you out - with a staging. Having a couple of your emics help you out by flirting with you, so that you can show her what it's like to be on the other side, would show her what it feels like, while avoiding involving an innocent person. When he sees you approach someone with that predatory act once or twice, he will understand the situation. If that's not enough …
Step 6. Let go
A girl who can't stop flirting is a time bomb. Admit it - she likes attention a lot. There will be a reason for this, but chances are you will never figure it out. A girl who flirts constantly, despite the real threat of losing her boyfriend, brings with her problems that in the long run will become a boulder. The pursuit of other people's attention in the long run will almost certainly lead to betrayal - better get out of it now.
Advice
- If you're worried about her being overly friendly to others, leave her. Sometimes things just don't have to go, and trying to change someone isn't the right way to move forward. Better to look for the right one and not waste time on the wrong one.
- Friendly flirting is just an excuse; being friendly by introducing your boyfriend to friends is a very different thing from ditching your boyfriend at the table to go say hello to two guys sitting at the bar. This kind of thing is only good for singles.
- A good relationship is a balanced relationship. You need to suppress any tendencies you have to be too possessive with her. She has to suppress her need to flirt. No matter how much you have to adapt, the result should be that, for both your well-being and peace of mind, you find a rhythm that satisfies both of you - you don't have to find yourself arguing every time you go out together. In other words, she should be fun, and you should feel safe and comfortable with her. If not, then it's not for you.
- Relationships are sometimes based on compromise. If a girl is spontaneously flirtatious, you may need to accept that she is attractive and open so that you can accept her for who she is; and likewise, she should agree to downplay her attitude for your own good. You both have to be willing to give something up.
Warnings
- Don't give her infinite time. Give her time to change her attitude, and to get used to being more reserved when you go out together. But if you make little or no progress in stopping this behavior, you may not be able to save your relationship.
- Don't get suspicious or accusatory, this will lead you straight to the breakup.
