Separations are difficult. One of the things that makes them tough is losing the company of your ex, especially if you were friends before you got together. This article will tell you whether or not you are ready to be friends with him, and will teach you how to behave in order to build a platonic friendship with him.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Questions to Ask
Step 1. Make sure you are truly interested in a platonic relationship
If you decide to become friends with your ex in the hope that you will get back together, it means that you are not at all ready for this type of friendship. Take some time to seriously think about this possibility.
If you're not sure about your feelings, ask yourself this question: How would you feel if you found out that your ex is dating someone else? If knowing this with another girl makes you red with anger, then you are not ready to be friends with her yet
Step 2. Determine if the time spent away from each other was enough
If the breakup is still fresh, you should let a few weeks, or even a few months go by, without talking or seeing each other regularly. This phase is essential to be able to distinguish between a relationship of love and one of friendship. Also, this period will give both of you a chance to reflect on your breakup.
Step 3. Don't rush
Although you are dying to meet him, remember to pay attention to your feelings. Wait to meet him until you are ready and you are sure that seeing him does not hurt you.
Focus on your hobbies, your closest friends, and school or work. Although it may be difficult at first, in the end you will learn to live happily without being in constant contact with your ex
Method 2 of 4: Open A Dialog
Step 1. Let your ex know that you would like to be friends with him
Let some time pass and then contact him to tell him that you would like you to be friends.
You can send an e-mail, a text message, or give him a phone call
Step 2. Be patient
If your ex isn't ready to be friends with you, he's probably still in pain from the breakup. Don't get angry and give him time to process his pain and post-breakup feelings.
Method 3 of 4: How to Behave in the Presence of Your Ex
Step 1. Make plans that aren't romantic
Don't meet him at night, or somewhere you used to go together. Instead of a candlelit dinner, prefer a coffee at the bar.
Step 2. Meet in a public place
You will avoid arguing or becoming intimate.
Step 3. Keep the conversation light
Avoid talking about the past or the guy you're dating at the time (if you're dating one). Rather, talk about what you've been up to lately, your mutual friends, your plans for the future, or just more and less.
Step 4. Be friendly, but don't flirt
Put aside the mischief.
Dress appropriately. Everyone wants to look beautiful in front of their ex, but dressing provocatively will send the wrong message
Method 4 of 4: Things to Avoid
Step 1. Don't sleep with your ex, or you'll find yourself talking about getting back together and any chance of being friends will vanish
Step 2. Don't fall into old habits
Although a normal friendship would involve daily phone calls and messages, don't start writing to your ex all the time. You would create false hopes of getting back together.
Step 3. Know when it's time to back off
If you or your ex start getting too close or experiencing old feelings, don't force yourself to be friends. Perhaps this is a sign that your separation is still too fresh and that you still need some time to be alone.
Advice
- Know if you still think about your ex constantly. If so, it means you haven't digested the breakup yet and aren't ready to be friends with him yet.
- Try to avoid asking his friends about him or getting his information over the internet. It could become an obsession and make you suffer.
- Wait until you've started dating another guy before reconnecting with your ex to become friends. This way you will be more confident when the time comes to meet him and it will be easier to regard him as just a friend.
