Talking to the person you like can be a stressful experience. Not only will you want to avoid awkward silences, but you certainly want to have a fun conversation to show her your best. By doing some prep work before talking to this person, you can make sure everything goes smoothly. With some initial care, a couple of great conversation ideas, and a little courage, you'll be able to chat with the person you like in no time.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Starting the Conversation
Step 1. Pick a good time
Since this is the person you like, you will probably have a general idea of their schedule. Think about when you will see her in class, in the lobby or during her free time. Find a time when you know you will be close to her and have time to start a conversation.
Use common sense and change your plans if necessary. If you have planned to talk to her during recess but see that she is rehearsing for a test or having a heated argument with a friend, postpone. Don't force her into a conversation when she's busy
Step 2. Greet her casually
A nice "Hey! How's it going?" it works as a conversation starter in almost any situation. It's an informal way to start talking, rather than throwing yourself into a pre-prepared speech. Also, the person you like might let you know if it's a good time to talk or not. If he says "I'm in a hurry to meet someone in the library!" then you will understand that it may not be the ideal time.
- It may sound silly, but saying this person's name can instantly make them feel calm and reassured. Say "Hey, Marco!" sounds a lot more personal than "Hey!"
- If you can't spontaneously get out "How's it going?" from your mouth, start with whatever feels natural to you. You can say, for example, "Are you anxious about the lesson today?", "Did you see the new episode last night?" or anything else that can start a conversation without too much trouble.
Step 3. Give her a compliment
It doesn't have to be something important, but it's an easy way to get into her good graces right from the start and hopefully start a real conversation. You can tell her that you like her new hairstyle, piece of clothing, or anything else related to her looks. Noticing something and complimenting it on it shows this person that you pay attention to them and also gives them the opportunity to tell you about it.
If relevant, you might also mention a recent achievement they've achieved or a noteworthy success they've achieved. You can say anything from "Congratulations on winning that soccer game last Saturday! Heard you played great" to "I liked what you said in class today and I totally agree"
Step 4. Pay attention to her body language
If he engages in conversation with you but uses his phone all the time, looks over his shoulder, or leans his body towards the nearest exit, stop there. She may be talking to you in a friendly way without being focused on the conversation, for whatever reason. If he stands in front of you, listens to what you say, and makes eye contact, then proceed.
Part 2 of 3: Creating a Connection
Step 1. Find common ground
It could be anything from your crazy Monday morning history teacher to how your little siblings are best friends. Finding common ground is a great way to not only have something to talk about, but to create a real connection.
- If you can't think of common ground, create one! If you don't go to the same class or friendships, find something to connect with the person you like. If you know she loves a certain genre of music, tell her you've started listening to it and want some advice. If you know she is passionate about a certain cause, ask her how you can learn more and get involved with it. It doesn't matter if you're totally opposite - find something you can use to relate to her and create a bond.
- Not only will you show the person you like that you know what they're interested in, but you can also really learn something new about them and all the topics you can talk about.
Step 2. Find a reason to continue the conversation
If you are shy and this is your first time chatting with the person you like, overcoming your fear and talking to her is a victory in itself. If you want to take it a step further, try to find a way to follow up on the conversation. For example, if you talk about a TV show you both like, say something like, "Well, we'll have to discuss it again after next week's episode!" This assures you that you will have a new opportunity to speak.
If you feel brave you can ask her for her phone number, email or ask her permission to contact her via social networks. This way you can continue talking outside the school
Step 3. Invite her somewhere
This is the next step if you are feeling particularly bold. Even if it's something as simple as studying for the exam you both have, it will ensure you spend more time with the person you like. It doesn't have to be an appointment; however, it can only be the meeting of two people who want to get to know each other better. The romantic part may come later.
No matter how eager you are to talk more with her and spend time with her - it's best to let things evolve naturally. Don't ask for her phone number three minutes after meeting her
Part 3 of 3: Appear Confident
Step 1. Prepare to feel good
Sometimes increasing one's self-esteem before approaching the person we like can be helpful. Do whatever it takes to feel good: put on a new shirt, spend some extra time combing your hair, or energize yourself by listening to your favorite song. Take advantage of days when you just feel good about yourself to start a conversation. If you feel good, you will emanate that security to the outside.
- Wearing a lucky shirt, standing tall, and visualizing a good conversation in your head are all additional ways to give yourself that confidence boost you need.
- No matter what you do to feel good, just do it!
Step 2. Remember he is exactly like you
It doesn't matter how cute, smart, funny or nice the person you like seems to you - he's a human being just like you. Sometimes she feels uncomfortable, she wants to be appreciated, and she wants to make friends, just like you. Try not to put her on a pedestal or you will be even more afraid to talk to her.
As far as you know, he may have been secretly admiring you for a long time. You owe it to both of you to try and talk to her
Step 3. Smile and make eye contact
No matter how anxious or shy you may feel, it's important to appear calm, calm, and in control. Introduce yourself with a nice smile and try to make eye contact when you speak. Show her that you are confident and she will automatically be impressed.
- When talking to the person you like, make sure you stand in front of them, speak loud enough to be understood, and use a friendly tone of voice. You can also lean towards her to better hear what she is saying.
- If you seem panicked, you will most likely feel a little uncomfortable. Disguise your nervousness and gather all your courage.
Step 4. Give yourself a pep talk
You are an intelligent, capable and charming person. Think of your best qualities and all the wonderful things you have to offer those around you. Love and appreciate your strengths - that's all that matters. The person you like will notice this and be happy to talk to you or be silly and be the only one to lose. Go and conquer it!
Also, try to be quiet before starting the conversation. You can listen to relaxing music, go for a walk, have a chat with a good friend or watch a funny video - calming down will help you get rid of the nervousness that can come from talking to the person you like
Expert Advice
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Respect the space of others.
When you approach someone to talk, don't get too close as this can make people uncomfortable. Everyone has a different perception of their personal space, however if you can reach out with an arm without touching the other person, that's probably a good place to start.
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Make good eye contact.
Look the person you like in the eye with confidence, but don't stare. Making strong eye contact shows self-esteem and increases attraction.
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Speak in a loud, clear tone of voice.
When people become insecure, they often lower their voices and fall silent. In addition to being difficult to hear, such a tone of voice signals to the other person that you are not authoritative or confident.
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Be a good listener.
Ask questions to get to know the other person without interrupting them. If you can get someone to open up and share something with you, that's a really great way to make connections. For example, if she talks to you about her work, you could ask her how she started to find out a little more about her.
