Spanking is a traditional form of corporal punishment used on children. As a form of discipline, spanking is the subject of extensive discussion among parents, although many still argue that spanking can be a safe and effective means of ending inappropriate behavior and teaching a lesson. If you think it's time to spank your child, it's important that you learn the basics so you can act calmly, carefully and constructively. Only then can your child learn from their mistakes.
Steps
Method 1 of 2: Thinking and Talking About Spanking
Step 1. Think before you act
Before you do anything, make sure you really want to do the spanking. Deciding on a spanking, or a simple reprimand, must be done first. Once the decision has been made, one should not retrace one's steps under any circumstances.
Step 2. Explain what he did wrong, why he was wrong, and how he should have behaved
It should be an open conversation, during which your child can ask questions and understand exactly what was expected of him. When giving a spanking, you need to be calm and free of anger.
Step 3. Find a secluded spot to spank your child
Spanking him in front of other people, especially in front of friends or siblings, could embarrass him. You could generate resentful feelings in your child that are counterproductive to your attempt to improve their behavior.
Step 4. Once you have a perfect understanding of the facts from your child, tell him that the consequence of his behavior will be a spanking
Your child will likely show anger and resentment at this point. You may notice him nervous and scared, but this should not make you retrace your steps.
Step 5. Tell your child that you are going to spank him and tell him not to move
Explain that resisting the spanking would have consequences. If he complains or whines, let him know that this way he won't be able to get a discount on his sentence, his spanking won't get any shorter. In any case, crying before, during and after the spanking is a completely natural reaction, and should never be punished.
Method 2 of 2: Give the Spanking
Step 1. Spank your child with your open hand, not an object
A brush or dustpan can also be safe, but your open hand remains the most effective and safest means. Belts used improperly can be dangerous and should be avoided. Consider spanking your child on his bare bottom, this way you can better measure his strength.
Step 2. Remove the rings from the fingers
They could hurt your child and be dangerous to your own hands. If you are going to spank your child through the pants, remember to remove any items stowed in the back pockets. You don't want to hurt your child and you don't want any objects to stand in your way of spanking. If you intend to have your child lie on your lap, also empty your front pockets to avoid creating an uncomfortable or painful position. Place all items on a table or chair next to you.
Step 3. Bend your child on your lap
Sit down and carry your baby on your lap.
Step 4. Don't talk during the spanking
Save the words for later, focus on getting it done. Some children will respond by screaming.
Step 5. Relax your hand and arms
Make sure your child's legs are well positioned on yours. Support your back firmly with one hand and place the other on your butt. Make sure your baby doesn't squirm and keeps his legs together.
Step 6. Don't hit too hard
It is not necessary to use a lot of force to discipline your child; also, hitting him too hard could cause him injury or trauma. The symbolism of the act itself is as important as the pain inflicted. Pay attention to your child's reactions to know if you are hitting him with excessive force. Stop after spanking him 3-4 times.
Step 7. After the spanking, reassure your baby
Let him know that you only did it because you want his good and because discipline is part of the love you have for him. Emphasize that future spanking can be avoided by thinking ahead of your actions and making the right decisions.
Step 8. Try to make spanking a positive learning experience
It might seem like a bizarre concept, but when done correctly, a spanking can teach a child an important lesson that they can enjoy in the future. On the inside you may feel like a bad person, but remember that spanking your child doesn't necessarily mean being a bad parent. In fact, if done correctly, without abuse and for the right reasons, a spanking can become a constructive part of parenting.
Step 9. Let your child know that you love him and that you will love him no matter what happens
Hug him and kiss him. Over the next few days, he may feel hurt and bitter, but he will easily be ready to forgive you.
Advice
- Don't spank too often. If you think you have to use this method whenever the opportunity arises, it is probably because it doesn't work with your child; or, that you have done it so often that it becomes a habit. A spanking should be a sporadic corrective method (a couple of times a year at the most) and only done during the growing years.
- If the discipline (in general) is given from the beginning (starting from the year and a half of your child's life), you can be sure that this method will have to be used up to 9 or 10 years of age at the most. If you notice that it doesn't work, try some other method.
Warnings
- Never spank a child who is not legally in your care. Here we are talking about babysitters. Not only could it be illegal, but you could also find yourself implicated in a sexual abuse charge.
- Do not spank in the car, or in any other means in motion.
- Spanks only and exclusively on the butt.
- If you decide to spank in public, remember that you may face resistance from outside people, especially if you are in a place where spanking is not well seen.
- Never spank a child when he is too angry.
- Respect the law. In Italy it is legal for a parent to spank their child (without causing physical harm). However, teachers and educators cannot do this. Pay attention to the laws in force and get informed!
- Never use objects to spank; regardless of your child's age.
