We live in a world where selfishness seems to be the rule and personal gains are the goal we aim to achieve with the majority of relationships and efforts. In this context, one of the most honorable aspects a person can develop is the ability to be loyal. Loyalty is the ability to prioritize others over yourself, to stand by their side through thick and thin, and to pay attention to them. If you're having a hard time being loyal to the most important person in your life, or even just curious about what exactly that means, read on.
Steps
Method 1 of 2: Part One: Being Loyal to Friends
Step 1. Support your friends simply because they are dear to you
If you are friends with someone there is a reason, don't forget it. Being friends also means being supportive, not to get something in return but because you like to see the other person happy.
Step 2. Don't talk behind friends
If you're having trouble with one of your friends, don't stab him in the back by spreading rumors about him and then seeing them spread like a virus. If you are having a hard time with a friend, learn to talk about them, communicate and express your feelings, directly with them. Your friend will appreciate your sincerity and your desire to keep the relationship strong. And he too, if he is used to doing the opposite, will come and talk to you instead of talking behind your back.
Step 3. Give your friend an "honest" opinion
If he has doubts about something, like whether or not to go out with a girl, or whether or not to accept a job offer, give him your opinion. Don't repeat what you think he would like to hear you say; it is spineless rather than loyal behavior. So express what you think and support the ideas by explaining the reasons that lead you to your opinion. Your friend wants honest advice, remember?
At the same time, be careful to be totally honest about complex issues. Telling a friend to seek help with an addiction is almost always a good thing; tell him he shouldn't eat ice cream because he's already fat enough probably isn't. Pick the things that are worth being really headed for
Step 4. Don't test your friend's loyalty - it would have a boomerang effect
Don't come up with complex games that show your friends' loyalty. Why not? Because they would probably notice and the fact that you don't trust them will irritate them, and at that point they might give you a real reason not to trust them. People live by responding to the expectations others have of them. Sad but true.
Trust your friends until they give you a reason not to. If this happens, try to fix what is broken. If you can't, slowly distance yourself. If they try to keep the friendship alive, they probably think it's a relationship worth fighting for. If they don't try at all, they probably didn't give it much importance
Step 5. Take the time to identify your friends' needs
Be generous with your time and resources. Luck smiles on those who give love and respect. What do your friends need, that you can give them?
- Someone to talk to - especially in difficult times
- Someone to listen to
- Someone to help them - on a special project, on an important date, or an extra pair of hands to do something
- Someone to smile with, to hug with or to cry with
Step 6. Keep the balance of your loyalty among different people
You can often find yourself in a complicated situation where being loyal to one friend means not being loyal to another. If you can, explain to both of you what is happening to you and try to act as some sort of judge (don't give rules, just stick to the facts). Don't take anyone's side. Keep yourself fair and just.
- Know that you can't always win the respect of all parties, and some may feel hurt. The person who uses your considered opinion against you is probably not a great friend.
- Sometimes your loyalty to a friend collides with an idea, a belief, or even a member of your family. If you are religious, you can seek guidance in your faith. In the Judeo-Christian religion, loyalty is owed, in this order, above all to "God, the Family, the Country". In the end, however, do what you feel in your heart. If inside you feel that you are more loyal to a friend than to your country, don't fight your feelings.
Step 7. Balance loyalty with the needs of your life and family
Being loyal to a social or volunteer organization at the cost of spending less time with your family can make you miss them or have problems in your personal relationships. "Loyalty is a feeling, not an idea"; if it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.
Step 8. Create a place for loyalty in your life
Even if it is addressed to people you don't know. Return the wallet to the person who fell while taking the taxi. In the queue at the supermarket, let mom and baby pass before you. Report a crime when you witness it. The world is constantly asking for your loyalty. Pay attention to the numerous, small cases, in which it is asked of you, this will open your eyes to the wonderful benefits that loyalty can give you.
Method 2 of 2: Part Two: Being Loyal to a Special Person
Step 1. Start with total honesty
You may not like to know, but you have to start by telling the truth, the total truth. Loyalty is based on trust, and if the other person finds out that you weren't entirely honest, the trust will fall apart. Living with a lie means isolating yourself, while when you are in a relationship it is important to open up.
- You have to let him know if you have betrayed him. Ask for forgiveness, and if he gives it to you, do your best to repay him for his loyalty.
- Tell him the biggest lie you ever told him. Good lies do not need to be discovered, also because it is very likely that he does not want to know them. But the big lies are important because they can sink a relationship like an iceberg would a ship.
Step 2. Don't put yourself in situations where you run the risk of not being loyal
We are all familiar with this type of situation. Maybe your girlfriend goes out of town and a friend who you've been a little too intimate and seductive with invites you to a party. If you think about it, you will politely decline the invitation because you know it would cause you problems. Understand your limitations, don't voluntarily ignore them.
Step 3. Show your loyalty in many small ways
If you have done something that you have lost the trust of the person you love about, and you want to regain it, you will need to move slowly. It won't happen in a day. Here you will find some little things that can help you prove your loyalty:
- Write an honest letter (without fear of being vulnerable)
- Spend time together, doing things your loved one loves (you'll score even more points if you get over your ego and try your best to have fun)
- Strive to get along with his parents (or your in-laws)
Step 4. Show loyalty by not making the same mistake twice
If you've cheated on your girlfriend, for example, you've run out of opportunities to woo other women. Don't think you can do it again and come back to her again with your tail between your legs. Mistakes can be made, but we must learn from them. If you make the same mistake twice, you are proving that you have not learned the lesson - and that you may never learn it.
Step 5. If you need a little help being loyal, consider the benefits
The benefits you will receive are almost entirely emotional, but they are great. What do you get from loyalty? To put it simply: others will behave fairly with you. Your loyalty inspires other people, who in turn inspire others, creating a virtuous circle. The resulting emotional gratification is a feeling of trust, security, affirmation, happiness and satisfaction. If you're not sure whether these feelings have value, look at who doesn't.
Step 6. If you need a lot of help to be fair, reconsider
If the thought of being fair to someone is so difficult and revolting for you, it could be a clue that can make you think you are with the wrong person. The right person would make you want to be loyal so that you can expect the same attitude.
Step 7. Trust your ability to be loyal
Everyone can be, especially if they really care about someone else. Don't question your ability to be loyal, rather ask yourself where you lost this propensity. Don't underestimate the value of self-confidence, or positive reinforcement. Many people who achieve great results do so because they believe in themselves.
Advice
- Keep a realistic view of your loyalty and the costs involved.
- Make sure you are fair to true friends.
