Your lifelong "best friend" seems genuinely kind and affectionate to you, but ultimately makes you stay with that nasty taste all the time, like you've done something wrong? In this case, he could be a sociopath. Here's how to break your friendship.
Steps
Step 1. What is a sociopath?
Understanding the meaning of this term is vital to your relationship. Contrary to popular belief, sociopaths are not serial killers by definition. They look like normal people, just like you. Here are some definitions of sociopathy:
- A sociopath is a pathological liar and manipulator, who approaches people to harm them.
- He is not interested in friendship. What he wants to get out of your "friendship" is a loyal follower. He can treat you like a friend so he can have your company, but he will never be sincere. As long as you value him and give him what he needs, he will keep you by your side. Once he gets tired of you, he will abandon you.
- Sociopathy is linked to mental illness, usually Antisocial Personality Disorder (DPA) and / or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (DPN). The sociopath does not feel guilty or remorse for the things he does, he does not feel love or compassion. His friendship with you, as well as all the outward aspects of charisma, charm, interest and affection, are part of their public persona.
Step 2. Talk to your friend to identify signs of sociopathy
It is always difficult because a sociopath hides his true nature and tends to be very cunning. The signs can be confused with those of a "very normal" bad friend, with little or no experience in social interaction.
Step 3. Think about the exact times when you felt abused
Go through the details and try to identify if there was a lack of conscience and lack of guilt on the part of your friend. To help you clarify, write down the facts and what you felt in each moment you felt abused. You may discover trends or links.
Step 4. Talk to your friend and evaluate the reaction
Be calm and explain the facts directly to him. Be honest and don't try to sweeten the pill. Don't belittle yourself.
Sociopaths can become aggressive when their integrity is questioned. Instead of arguing with accusations of lying or manipulating, they can attack the person facing them. They use aggression or charm to regain lost ground
Step 5. Once addressed, he will make sure to make you feel guilty for having doubts about his intentions
When that happens, he'll see it as a victory rather than be interested in understanding your reasons.
Step 6. Deal with the initial denial
Your friend's sociopathy will be hard to accept. If you've been friends for a long time, your friend may appear honest and loyal to you. However, it is important to remember that this friendship in itself is a farce. Here's what to remember:
- Your "friend" is not really a friend at all. The words "sociopathy" and "friend" are mutually exclusive since those who are like this are unable to feel positive emotions such as affection. He may never have really been interested in an honest friendship with you, but only in complicity and loyalty.
- Realize that you have been manipulated and abused. Even if you feel a little embarrassed, these are signs that things in your friendship are not going well.
Step 7. Overcome the anger
Once you understand that you have been the victim of a sociopath, you may feel the urge to settle the score. Beware: the sociopath has a historical experience of taking advantage of people. Not you. Your chances of catching up are slim and risky. Better get over it and let it go.
Step 8. Break your friendship
Tell the sociopath to leave you alone. Be determined, strong, direct and consistent. If you are unable to make your own decisions and stick with them, everyone will be able to manipulate you effortlessly.
Breaking the friendship can be easy. For the sociopath, friendship has no meaning. It was special just for you. You have to understand that he doesn't care, neither about you nor about your friendship. It was nothing more than a game for him. Once contact is broken, you will find that the sociopath has already forgotten about you
Step 9. Tell others who he was
Don't talk about it negatively. Explain quietly by giving examples of his typical behavior. It is necessary, because talking badly about him could put you in a bad light with other friends and lead them straight towards him instead of driving them away.
