Losing a friend can be really tough, especially when it's not your fault. Although you may be sad, realize that it is not the end of the world. You'll get over it and make new friends. However, if you feel really too sad to make new friends, try to mend the relationship with the friend you have lost. In any case, always know that that friend was not a true friend.
Steps
Step 1. Give yourself time to mourn the loss of your friend
Not having your friend in everyday life is a big change. Cry, scream on your pillow, scream, hit the pillow, put the music on blaring. Do whatever it takes to chase away sadness, anger, anger, disappointment, etc. Relieve yourself so that you can leave these destructive feelings behind and stop harboring the negativity that you will continue to carry with you if you don't dump it.
Step 2. The person who hurt you may claim that you are not a good friend
Consider the possibility that you may have contributed to the situation. Be honest with yourself. Weren't you a good friend?
Step 3. After giving yourself time to grieve because of the lost friendship, stop thinking about it all the time
It can drive you crazy. You may never know what happened or why your friend abandoned you. You may never know why at first you didn't realize who he was. You may start to be afraid to make new friends at the risk of being betrayed again. It is time to let go of these thoughts.
Step 4. When you find that you are thinking about the person who hurt you, stop immediately
Breathe deeply and use your inner voice to repeat something positive. For example: “I am a good person. The world is full of beautiful things for me”. Repeat this as often as you find yourself thinking about the past.
Step 5. Find a new hobby, activity, or ongoing social event
Don't sit idle and don't sob incessantly. Do something enterprising and spirited to distract your mind and soul. Stop getting down on yourself and get back on your way in life. Go shopping, have an ice cream at your local restaurant or go for sports. Take up a hobby or set a challenge, such as solving a 5,000-piece puzzle or challenging the computer to a game of chess.
Step 6. Join a group
You will meet a lot of new people and make a lot of friends right away.
Step 7. Find a new friend
There is always someone new. Talk to people at school, university, at work or in your neighborhood. Talk to people you've never really talked to before and you may be pleasantly surprised. Be polite and friendly, but don't be too friendly the first time you approach them. Approach and say: "Hello" or something similar and try to behave casually. If you start communicating, don't be too eager to befriend the person too quickly. Be yourself and stay cool. Take it easy and go slow, just because you've lost a friend doesn't mean you have to rush to replace them with another. Friendship develops over time and needs careful choices and a good predisposition.
Step 8. Avoid spending time thinking about ways to make your ex friend jealous
Doing so will only seem sad and desperate and this attitude will always affect only yourself. Revenge fantasies might amuse that unhappy part of you, but they represent a real waste of energy and dig into you sadness and inertia on a deeper level. If you try to take revenge, it will then be very difficult to be able to recover your friendship with that person. Reread step 1 if you find yourself falling into this trap.
Step 9. Maintain a superficial relationship with your former friend
When you see your ex friend, don't be sour or mean. If he speaks to you, don't ignore him. Return the greeting and if you still don't want to have a long conversation, be polite and just apologize. An appointment or homework to finish are quite plausible excuses.
Step 10. Don't gossip about that person and don't tell everyone about them
Nobody will want to be friends with you if they find out that you talk about others behind their backs.
Step 11. Smile
Find something that makes you smile. Do something for someone, raise money for charity by participating in a sponsored run, do something that makes you happy again. Realize that you do not need that person to be happy and it is not the end of the world now that it is gone. This is one of the lessons of life and there should be a kernel of wisdom in what has happened to you to learn from.
Step 12. Learn that life isn't over:
is the most important lesson. Don't stop hanging out with other friends and don't blame them. Go on as if everything is normal and it will seem normal. You will soon forget everything about that person, or at least learn to think about them without that sense of loneliness, bitterness, or sadness.
Step 13. Remember that for every end there is a new beginning
It means that there is time for your life to go in the direction you want. Pamper yourself and hang out with interesting new people.
Step 14. When you lose your best friend after a prolonged friendship, it may seem that the world is spinning out of control, but it isn't
You are faced with a mutual agreement to keep the distance between you for a while, but the real question is: can you both agree not to meet? Do what you can to overcome that feeling. It is what will keep you going in life.
Advice
- If you still feel uncomfortable a few days after your friend leaves your life, don't worry, it's okay. It is also completely normal that his thought has remained in the back of your mind; just don't let it resurface too much.
- If you find that he uses you mainly to improve himself, or tries to make you feel guilty for ending the friendship for your own good, don't let the sense of remorse and the thought of backing down cross your mind. Feeling hurt again and falling back into the maelstrom of pain isn't worth it.
- Be strong! If that person has misbehaved you, don't accept their friendship just yet. If he begs you or promises to be a good friend, stay still, unless you think he has really changed or feel it would be wrong not to give him another chance. Don't be weak or you will be treated like a toe rag.
- Do not let your friend know that you are angry, as he may think he has won by then, or your former friend may simply be irritated that you still have the desire to be his friend and may be tempted to spread malicious gossip about you. you.
- Don't let this person think that you are letting go because you two are no longer friends. It is an immature and self-destructive attitude that only affects you and your future expectations for other friendships. People don't change their minds to save those who wallow in hardship, so don't try to get stuck in this illusion.
- If you really want to, mend your friendship with him. If it was a stupid fight and you know it was, he may think so too. Start apologizing a few days after the fight and then leave him alone. You can do this in any way, for example by email or by phone. Don't take revenge. If he refuses, you will know that you have done everything possible.
