Dealing with someone who refuses to admit their weaknesses and doesn't accept criticism can be incredibly frustrating. We can all be proud at times, but there are certain people for whom pride seems to be essential. Dealing with someone like that will require some attention, but with the right preparation and a good deal of patience, you can make the task of facing their pride less onerous.
Steps
Method 1 of 2: Have an Open Conversation
Step 1. Set clear boundaries
Before interacting with a proud person, you should make the topic of your conversation clear. Be crystal clear and specific about what you want to talk about, then stick to the schedule.
- For example, you might say, "I want to talk to you about performance reviews and our payout policy."
- Be steadfast in keeping the limits set. You can say something like, “I know you're excited to work for the mayor, but that's not what we decided to discuss today. We continue to focus on the neighborhood garden project that I am carrying out”.
Step 2. Prepare some answers
If you already know what you are going to talk about and think you can predict what the proud person will say, plan some responses. If you are already prepared, the discussion will be less frustrating!
- If the confrontation makes you nervous, try writing some sort of script about how you want the conversation to go and try your hand.
- If it says to you “Did you see the memo I sent? I really showed him who's in charge! ", You can reply:" I saw him; actually I really wanted to talk to you about the language you used”.
Step 3. Use word associations to guide the conversation
If you feel that you are stuck on a specific topic, try to take the discussion slightly away from that particular issue. Don't be too abrupt; when you deflect the conversation slightly, let it go on for a bit before giving her another nudge.
For example, if the proud person wants to talk about how the council should have voted in his favor, you can change the subject by talking about the limits of democracy
Step 4. Pretend to agree with this person to be able to change the subject
Sometimes the best way to deal with a proud person is to make them believe you agree with them. Use the "yes, but" method to introduce something you would like to talk about. For instance:
- “I agree with you that we can be more productive, but it would help if the databases were less bulky”;
- “Yes, I think it might work. But the consequences would be devastating”;
- "Yes, I will finish the count, but my priority is the presentation that I have to give this afternoon."
Step 5. Stand firm on your position
Bending to the will of a proud person will only make you appear complacent and make them less receptive to you in the future. If he doesn't react to what you're saying, change the subject.
- For example, you can say, “We're just wasting time on this thing. It will be more productive to see him again after we have talked about the accounts”.
- Remember to be firm and use phrases like "It will be useful …" or "I know …". Try to avoid phrases like "I think …" or "I think …".
Step 6. Recognize and avoid negative triggers
Proud people become stubborn in the face of facts or truths that contradict their worldview. Pay attention to any words, phrases, or topics that might trigger the stubbornness of such a person. Take note of these elements and avoid mentioning them in your future conversations.
Step 7. Ask for his help
A proud person likes to be in control and maintain their autonomy. You can flatter her by asking her opinion as a sign of respect. This method always works! Asking the help of a proud person can also be a way to help them work on their pride.
Method 2 of 2: Take Care of Yourself
Step 1. Try not to take his behavior personally
You are not the cause of this negative attitude. If you feel like you're not being heard, it's not because you don't have something interesting to say. Proud people find it difficult to take advice because they see it as criticism.
Step 2. Count on yourself to feel fulfilled
You are unlikely to get support from a proud person who is often too self-centered to acknowledge your accomplishments. Be proud of yourself for completing a difficult task or achieving a goal.
Step 3. Breathe and keep calm
Talking to a proud person can sometimes be the emotional equivalent of repeatedly hitting a wall. Knowing what you are going through can only help you up to a point. Sometimes you will need to relax and breathe to let go of the frustration. This will take some practice and patience.
When you breathe deeply, be careful not to make it seem like you are sighing. Looking frustrated will only make the situation worse
Step 4. Walk away
Sometimes, the best thing you can do for yourself is to give yourself some space. You may feel that you are putting too much time and energy into a toxic relationship, which can be mentally exhausting and can make you feel really bad. Break this relationship that causes you so much stress.
